


Light A Fire (In My Soul)

by Funnygaaragirl



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Swapfell (Undertale), Crazy Mama - Freeform, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Grillby is a ho, Healing, Hope, Past Rape/Non-con, Reader has name, Reader is OC, SO MUCH FLUFF, Suicide Attempt, book talk, nerd reader, readers got issues, shy reader, unless books, writers block
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:40:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 64,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27663494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Funnygaaragirl/pseuds/Funnygaaragirl
Summary: Grillby never wanted anything to do with his soulmate. The very fact the existed was an annoyance at best. But in a world where everyone knows the first thing their soulmate will say to them it's hard to avoid. He was perfectly fine with having casual sex with strangers and annoying his coworker. So when he does meet his soulmate and finds he actually enjoys talking to her, he finds a war within himself that he can't seem to win. And when he almost loses her in the fight, he has to confront his own wants and mind.This is a work inspired by and taking place in the world of 'Short King' By absurdmagewrites.*Updates Monday*
Relationships: Grillby (Undertale)/Reader, SF!Grillby/Reader
Comments: 187
Kudos: 297





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [absurdmagewrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/absurdmagewrites/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Short King](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24089707) by [absurdmagewrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/absurdmagewrites/pseuds/absurdmagewrites). 



> Hello! Being that this is an inspired story, I would like to go ahead and mention that there are mentioned themes in this story that do not belong to me. All mentions of Shiloh, life extension, how monsters react to soulmates, and the bar Casey's belongs to the very talented absurdmagewrites.  
> That also being said, please note this story gets dark. Like... I wasn't okay for a few days after writing out a section for a later chapter. I advise you to keep to the tags to proceed with caution. Enjoy!

The very fact that soulmates exist has never really fazed Grillby. The very fact that one day at some random point on some random day some random person was going to say some random fucking words that signified they were his soulmate never really mattered. Even when he was a child and woke up on his tenth birthday to find his ‘soulmate tattoo’ on the underside of his left arm he just… shrugged. He watched as all the other children oohed and awed at theirs, dreaming of the day they would hear those special words spoken.

‘Soulmate tattoos’ are something that every child receives on their tenth birthday. It appears somewhere almost entirely random on the body and is the first thing your soulmate will ever say to you. Everyone always made such a big deal about them. It was even worse when the kids he grew up with started finding their soulmates. Their perfect person. Their destined love. Their dream come true.

Bullshit. The world had forced the ‘purity’ and ‘rightness’ of loving your soulmate for so long that people honestly began to believe going into their ‘perfect relationships’ that it wasn’t going to take all the work of a ‘regular’ relationship. People began to believe that it would all just flow and they never have to worry about dumbass arguments or disagreements again. And once they started to realize there isn’t much different to a soulmate than a regular partner… well, that’s where Grillby stepped in.

Even now, as he laid in his bed, naked as the day he was born with an unlit cigarette hanging between his lips, he couldn’t help but laugh at the young blonde frantically picking up her clothes from the floor. He couldn’t help but laugh at her panic as she realizes the level of betrayal she just committed against her new soulmate. It took one argument for her to spill her guts at the bar, calling her boyfriend every horrible name in the book and then cornering Grillby behind the building after hours.

Not that he didn’t actively encourage her. Since being back on the surface it had been marginally easier to find bed partners than it had underground. Soulmates worked a little different with monsters and humans. Monsters, being made from magic and being so closely attuned to their souls actually had the ability to feel the stronger emotions of their soulmates after they met. Humans… didn’t. Honestly he wasn’t even sure why the humans made soulmates such a big deal. Nothing changed. Nothing was different.

Grillby used a small bit of his magic to make the dark purple fire that was his body hot enough to light the cigarette with his fingers. After blowing out a fine cloud of smoke the woman turned to him with a glare. “I hope you’re happy.” She spat, tears building in her eyes. He merely shrugged and tucked his arms behind his head. “How can you live with yourself! Knowing you slept with someone else's soulmate!? Knowing you ruined their life?!”

“That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think? You certainly didn’t say anything like that last night.” Take responsibility for your own actions, he thought bitterly.

He watched as her face flushed bright red with both anger and embarrassment. She was fully dressed at this point and was obviously trying to get the last word before storming out of his apartment, trying to feel like she won something. Her eyes trailed up his bare chest, across his face… and landed on his left arm. She sneered. “You know what? I hope you find your soulmate. I hope you fall so deeply in love with her you can’t fucking stand it. I hope they bring you every peace and happiness you ever wanted in your life. And then I hope you fucking lose it all.” Her voice had dropped to a growl as she gripped the strap of her purse and grabbed the doorknob. “I hope they cheat on you. I hope they leave you. I hope they crush the very life from your heart as they take that love away. Just so you know what you have done, what it feels like”

The door slammed and the one picture he had on the wall fell to the floor. Well. That was new. Yeah, his conquests usually spent a few minutes berating him for ‘tainting’ their hearts. Or they were so disgusted with themselves they didn’t even speak to him. Never had he had one basically curse him. Grillby took another long drag from his cigarette and started to get up. Not like it mattered much to him what his future soulmate did with her time. He didn’t want anything to do with some bitch fate was attempting to push on him.

Grillby just wanted to live his life in peace.

Besides, he was well over two thousand years old. Being an elemental monster gave him the wonderful perk of living an even longer lifespan than most monsters did. Even being as old as he was, Grillby was still considered young to his kind. And in all that time that he had been alive, all that he had seen and done, and not once had anyone uttered the words across his arm the first time they met.

He actually kind of did want to at least meet her. He wanted to see what kind of pathetic woman says something as dumb as ‘Oh please tell me that wasn’t what I think it was’ the first time she meets someone. Grillby pulled on the nearest pair of pants he could find and slid the glass door to his balcony open before stepping outside into the mid morning air. It was finally spring. The morning air held a slight chill but nothing like the freezing temperatures they had been dealing with. Not that Grillby minded the cold.

Being made of fire magic had its perks.

It was listening to the humans and other monsters complain about it that irritated Grillby. That and that the snow was not his favorite thing to look at. Funnily enough, after so long living underground and finally coming back into the sunshine, the thing he found he had missed the most was the variance of colors in the flowers and trees. Snowdin had been so white, Waterfall bluish grey, Hotland just fucking orange. There were no exciting colors, no changes to look forward to.

He sighed as he finished the last of his vice and leaned against the railing. Looking down, he was able to see the angry woman just leaving his building, sobbing with her phone pressed to her ear. ‘Wonder how long it will take for her to accept her own fault in this’. Grillby stood out on the balcony a while longer before heading back inside to make a meager breakfast and dress for the day. He didn’t have work until later, but anything was better than spending all day in his tiny studio apartment.

It varied what he ended up doing. Some days he grabbed a coffee and spent the majority of the late morning and early afternoon perusing a nearby bookstore. Other days he simply sat on a bench in the park and enjoyed the quiet. This day was a bookstore day. Coffee in hand, he entered the small and densely packed store. It was one of his favorite places. Rarely crowded, filled with more books than it could hold, and usually held some interesting and rare finds.

When he entered the store, his eyes immediately darted to the display with the newest work from some well known fantasy romance writer. Grillby refused to read that dribble. Oh, but he had heard it all. She’s so inspiring, so detailed. She brings the characters to life. That’s not what makes a great writer, that’s the basics of writing anything worth reading. He stopped as he was passing the display. ‘Strands of Black’ by Anerin Foster. Supposedly, it was the first book of her new trilogy.

One of the humans at the bar he worked was a fan and constantly tried to convince him to at least read the first chapter. If he didn’t like it she wouldn’t bring it up again. But he just… couldn’t do it. Grillby shook his head and wandered into the depths of the stacks to find his entertainment for the next three hours.

“Did you read it?!” A shrill female voice broke his concentration as he polished a glass during down time at the bar. His co-worker, Renee, practically bounced as she peered up at him with hope. Grillby sighed and placed the now clean glass with the rest. He didn’t find it necessary to answer her. “Come on! One chapter! Just one!”

He missed Shiloh… Working with Renee was just a pain in the ass. “I said no.”

But Renee just pouted and let her already large hazel eyes grow wider. “But Grillby! I really think you would like it if you just gave it a chance! Here!” She reached into her shoulder bag that she had yet to place in the back room. He recognized the cover to the newest work of that infernal author. “Seriously, this one has a main character who thinks a lot like you do when it comes to soulmates.” That tone. Did Renee honestly believe she could tempt him? “To the point that she initially rejects her soulmate.” Her lilt rose in pitch. Nope. Not even a little tempted. “Oh, and did I mention this is all taking place during a mage war?”

Oh, now that was a little more interesting. He glanced down at the offered book then back at Renee. This little shit. That grin she shot was about as innocent as the U.S. Government. And she knew she had won. Grillby sighed and snatched the book. For the next nine hours he couldn’t turn in her direction without seeing that triumphant and idiotic grin. It was infuriating! It was like chains had dropped from his hands and feet when he finally walked out the door that night.

The night was bright with street lamps as he made his way down the street to his apartment. Not very many people were usually out at this time, but he did notice the overwhelming number of couples. It was like the universe was trying to shove the disgusting displays of love and affection down his throat. This is the life he is supposed to live. Meet the soulmate, settle down, get married, raise kids. Live in perpetual suburban hell.

Grillby remembered about half way to his place he needed to pick up more coffee and bread. Turning around, he headed for the store at the end of the street. It would be a quick pop in and then he could, oh dread, read the first chapter of that damn book. Grillby patted the pocket of his jacket, the book making a slight bulge from its place. Grillby cast his gaze to the sky as he passed a few smaller businesses closing up for the night.

Stars. He had missed the stars. It was unfortunate how the humans had polluted the night with so much light they could barely be seen though. “Oh, yes, sorry. Uh, thank you Ma’am-Oh!” Lost in thought, Grillby hadn’t noticed the distracted human coming out of one of the stores until she was smack against his front. She had hit him with enough force that he had to take a step back to keep his balance.

Something shattered beneath his shoe and the human froze, growing pale. “Oh.” Her eyes darted back and forth but never focused, Never seemed to see anything. “Please tell me that wasn’t what I think it was.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get our first look at the mysterious soulmate! Also Grillby pisses off a spider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I was really not expecting so much positive feedback so quickly. Like, you all gave me more feed back in 24 hours on one chapter than I've gotten on my other two stories in months. I like it! Seeing all of the comments and kudos has really upped my motivation! Welcome to the first Monday update everyone! And thank you so very much for excitment and feed back!

No. No no and fucking hell no. The universe had to be playing some sick ass joke on Grillby. There was no fucking way he had just ran into his stars be damned soulmate. Or, should he say, she ran into him. The human woman tucked her arms against her sweater clad chest as she tried to make herself as small as possible, a look of utter panic painting her features. She kneeled down and her hand began to swipe around blindly at the ground. Grillby remembered the shattering sound when he took a step back and lifted his foot.

  
A pair of broken glasses lay in a sad heap on the concrete. The woman’s hand hit the side and lifted the glasses up. “Oh, nonono, what do I do.” She muttered. Her hand reached out and patted Grillby’s leg before gently clutching his jeans. “Um- I’m sorry- really, really sorry. I didn’t mean to run into you, but do you think you could… help… me?” Her voice was so timid and high pitched.

  
As long as Grillby didn’t say a word the bond wouldn’t settle. He could just turn around and not have to worry about her again. Then he could at least say he had seen the woman. So, Grillby simply made a questioning noise in the back of his throat.

  
“I- I live in the building across the street.” She said, slowly getting to her feet, trying to be careful. “And- well the thing is- um- I’m legally blind without my glasses and I left my spare pair in my apartment because I was just coming out to pick something up- sorry, focus.” She took a deep breath before beginning again. “Anyway, would you be willing… to walk me to my apartment? I’ll pay you for the inconvenience I swear!”

  
The woman seemed on the verge of tears. Her face had begun to turn red and her shoulders were trembling just slightly. Good lord, this was the person the universe considered his perfect match? She was a damn mess! Brown hair fell in a frizzy mess around her shoulders and down her back. That sweater was bulky and was doing absolutely nothing to flatter her otherwise already unflattering figure. And as far as that face went… he would give it a solid five. Maybe a six if he was feeling generous.

  
But at the same time, he wanted to know just a little bit more about this strange little woman the universe had paired him with. He had been the one to break her glasses, despite her running into him being the cause of it. Grillby sighed and carefully took her hand to place in the crook of his arm. The woman beamed, brown eyes narrowing in pure joy. “Thank you!” As he led her across the street she explained which apartment was hers and how to reach it once inside the building.

  
She lived in a very nice complex actually. He had to wonder what she did for a living to be able to afford to live there. Unless she had roommates, but Grillby had the feeling she was a loner type. Grillby wondered just what he could gleen from seeing her place. His first impression so far was not impressed. The woman lived on the third floor and she handed him her keys so they could take the elevator just inside the absolutely extra building lobby. He wished his place was this swanky.

  
All his building had was a vending machine that only worked on Tuesdays and Fridays. The ride in the elevator was quiet but Grillby couldn't help but notice the woman fidgeting nervously next to him. It was like she didn’t know how to be around people. He was kind of regretting taking her home now. This woman was irredeemable. As soon as they reached her door he praised the powers that be as she unlocked it and wandered inside. He was about to turn to leave when she called out to him. “Please, wait there a moment! I’ll be back with your payment!”

  
… Okay, Grillby couldn’t turn down free money. He was trying to save up as much as possible to open his own bar once the five year bullshit was over. Yeah, the human government had stated that any monster wanting to start their own business first had to work in a human establishment of the same nature for five fucking years. ‘It’s for the experience!’ They cried. Experience his left testicule…

  
“Oh, that’s so much better.” He heard the woman mutter as she came back around the corner to the door, slipping on a pair of taped navy blue framed glasses. “Okay, thank you again fo-” She stopped dead the moment her eyes landed on Grillby, able to see him clearly for the first time. “Oh. Oh wow, you’re amazing.” Grillby made a choked sound having not expected the odd compliment. The woman’s face exploded in a furious red as she slapped her hands over her mouth. “Oh gosh golly! I’m so sorry! Ignore me, please!”

  
… What? What had she just said? Grillby felt the corner of his mouth quirk up as he slowly turned to face the door jam, shoulders shaking with his chuckle. “Who the hell says gosh golly?” He muttered.

  
………..  
……  
…

  
Damn it.

  
Grillby froze up the moment he realized what he had done. Already he felt a foreign feeling of shock and wonder washing over his soul and her full scent assaulting his senses. Actually… he took a deep breath. That scent just might be the only redeeming quality about her. She gave off a wonderful scent of a new hard back book mixed with something like cinnamon. Monsters are very aware of scent and it’s important to a level. Grillby, being as old as he was, had learned how to ignore the scents of those he didn’t much care about. Only those that meant something to him really hit him.

  
Of course he would be able to smell her the moment he fucked up and settled the bond on his end. That’s all it fucking took for a monster. Meet the soulmate, boom, bond settled. Most humans took a moment to really feel it, some it took weeks or years. Then there were the rare one-sided bonds that never really settled. Grillby had the sneaking suspicion he wouldn’t have to worry about that with this one…

  
While the feelings of shock and awe faded from him he couldn’t help but pick up on the slightest tinge of hope that made its way across their bond before ducking into the void again. A sad and tired excuse of a smile spread across the woman’s face as she looked down, her hand absently rubbing at her other arm. “I’m… I’m sorry.” She finally said.  
Well. That was… Why? “Fo~r?” Grillby asked, leaning against the door jam.

  
“You, uh, must be pretty disappointed.” Something strong slid across his soul from her. It was an emotion he wasn’t familiar with and didn’t have a name for. But it hurt. His chest and throat felt tight as that emotion lingered. “It’s fine. I understand.” She continued, pitch raising. “Um, right, payment.” She turned and headed back around the corner. Grillby was thoroughly confused. She knew he wasn’t impressed by her? Or was she simply aware she wasn’t the most attractive person? Having humility where your appearance is concerned is a good thing but Grillby was getting the idea it went much deeper than that with this woman.

  
She expected him to be disappointed.

  
But he hadn’t denied it either. Grillby was an honest person and didn’t tend to spare feelings. He wasn’t going to change that just because she was his soulmate. The woman came back and handed him a ten dollar bill and a muffin wrapped in plastic, all without raising her gaze to meet his again. “So, thank you, again. Um… See you around the neighborhood, I guess?” So awkward…

  
Grillby nodded and knocked his knuckles against the door jam as he pushed off and began to walk down the hall. But the moment he heard her door click shut he felt it. It wasn’t anything from her, it was all his soul and mind telling him that something was very wrong. That whole encounter felt off, like it shouldn't have happened like that. Like something had been missed. His soul felt tense and it made his stomach turn.

  
But why? His soulmate didn’t make a fuss about wanting to be around him, let him just walk off without exchanging any information. He should be fucking extatic! But instead he just kept turning the encounter over and over in his head. The way her gaze stayed on the ground, how her hands and fingers never once held still in nervous fidgets. He couldn’t seem to forget that momentary feeling of hope that he got from her either. It had gone so quickly though. Like she forced it away.

  
Like she thought she didn’t deserve to hope.

  
Grillby stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and shook his head when that thought crossed his mind. That’s fucked up if true. Even once home and laying in bed he just couldn’t get his mind off of it. Was he disappointed at how it had gone? In ways, he had expected more of a fight from his soulmate. But she had rolled over in defeat before he even managed to say anything. Yeah. Grillby was disappointed. He had wanted to tell her that he didn’t want to be with her. He had wanted to tell her he didn’t care about fate's plan. He had wanted to tell her literally everything he had imagined saying to his future soulmate since he was ten years old.

  
How absolutely infuriating. It was like being brought right up to the edge of orgasm and then left to hang. What bullshit. But there was nothing he could really do about it now. He didn’t even know the woman’s name. Grillby sighed and placed his glasses on the side table, hand brushing the wrapped muffin she had given him. He wouldn’t let the encounter get to him. Bond or no, he was determined to live the life he wanted.

  
But that’s the issue. Monsters are instinctively protective of their mates. He wasn’t sure what would happen the first time he felt a surge of panic from their bond or extreme pain even. The bond was quiet now. So either she was asleep or calm, safe in her home. Grillby sighed again and turned on his side. Sleep was a battle the entire night and by the time the sun rose he was already pissed off.

  
After the incident, he had completely forgotten to go back to the store for coffee and bread. Normally, he liked to have a cup or two at home before wandering out for the good stuff. And by good stuff he meant the slightly overpriced espresso he also got at the shop that bitch Muffett was working in. It was flavored with her despair and anger as she glared at his smirking face each morning, carefully making his drink under the micromanagement of the large chain. Grillby felt like an asshole but he didn’t care much.  
It just meant he would have to go out a little earlier than normal. Grillby pulled on a clean pair of clothes and looked over his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Dark purple flames danced across his body and atop his head in sleepy licks. Behind his glasses he noticed the slightly darker hue under his eyes, evidence of his tumultuous night. Grillby just sighed and grabbed his keys, heading for the door. With his hand on the doorknob Grillby caught sight of the muffin on his side table. Should he?

  
He grabbed the treat and stuffed it in his pocket. Why not. Free breakfast. It was when he put the treat in his jacket pocket that he remembered the object in the other one. Groan. The book. He had completely forgotten about that damn book. Like hell he was going to go into work and deal with Renee’s bullshit if he didn’t at least choke down the first chapter like he said he would. Grillby was just getting more and more pissed off as the morning progressed.

  
It did warm his soul to see Muffett practically shake in anger when he walked into the shop. But… her expression changed the closer he got to the counter. Like… concern. Her scowl was back almost instantaneously. “You look like shit.” She commented.

  
“You’re not exactly a center-fold yourself, bitch.” He tossed back.

  
She rolled her many eyes. Being a spider monster made her wiz at the coffee bar with all those extra arms. It was most likely why the failing coffee shop had so eagerly taken her on. She was able to do the work of three people at once. But he did have to admit she had some skills. Skills enough to bring in some new business and single handedly save the shop. “You’re such an ass. Do you want your regular swamp water or not?”

  
“Triple shot.” He sighed.

  
Muffett narrowed her beady eyes. “Are you okay?”

  
“Just make the damn coffee, Muffett.” She turned, holding up her hands in surrender and quickly making his drink. He paid and took the drink, leaving as quickly as he could. Having her be concerned about him was… unnerving. But the drink brought life to his soul as he sipped it. Thank the stars for whatever blessed human discovered coffee. The bookstore Grillby frequented was quite a bit more crowded than usual. It was earlier in the day than he normally went but he still managed to snag a spot in the back of the store.

  
One chapter. That’s all he had to stomach was one damn chapter. Grillby took a deep breath and fished the muffin from his pocket, unwrapping it and taking a bite before opening the book…. It was a good muffin. Cinnamon flavor. With a crispy top and moist center. Pretty damn good.

  
No more stalling. He groaned as he realized there was a prologue. Fuck him. _‘A clean breath of air slowly drew into Micha’s lungs as she sat back against the brick wall of the old dance studio. Nice days like this always eased her mind, and she took advantage of them. Waiting for her sisters’ class to finish was her opportunity to relax during the week and read a chapter in her book. Free time was a luxury that Micha appreciated beyond reason. Life is difficult. But even the turbulence of this life was worth it. Just to give her little sister a fighting chance.’_

  
Grillby sipped at his coffee as he read the prologue. The writing style was… interesting. But he wasn’t sure how he felt about the story- holy fuck, did she kill her main characters in the fucking prolouge?! He could only guess at the expression he was making as he put his coffee down a little rougher than he meant to and turned the page. Chapter one started and answered his incredulous question. Not dead… Fucking stars, what a way to grab the readers attention. Okay Anerin Foster. He could see the hype.  
He continued through the first chapter with a little more hope than he started with. It wasn’t bad. The new setting was intriguing as well. It was obviously a little more fantasy than he was used to reading, but being a man who once lived in a similar setting he was amazed at the description and accuracy. This author had done some research before putting her own spin on it. Grillby reached for the muffin as he began chapter two.

  
“Oh!” His head shot up, spell broken as the world of the book faded from his mind. The woman from last night stood at the edge of the shelf that separated the area he sat in from the rest of the store. She was more put together today than she had been the night before. Her hair wasn’t as frizzy and was even pulled back in a loose bun. He raised a brow at her and her face flushed. “Uh! Sorry. I don’t mean to bother you-oh!” A man elbowed her slightly as he moved behind her.  
… He did not want to ponder why that ticked him off.

  
She looked like she was about to apologize to the man who ran into her before realizing he was long gone. “Anyway… It’s really… crowded today, and-oh! Excuse me, I’m sorry.” Another person knocked into her. Grillby noticed the seat next to his was still empty. And if he had to guess she was just going to stand there forever trying to ask if it was okay to sit near him while apologizing for being hit.

  
“Sit down before you get a concussion.” He sighed.

  
Her face flushed as she mumbled a thanks and sat next to him, tucking her legs up on the seat. Trying to take up as little space as possible. Grillby turned back to the book. _‘Thaylin and Lilliae were already out of sight, causing panic to flood her body, cold and painful. "You bring her back, damn it!" Something hot and wet dribbled down her ear and onto her shoulder. The hit to the wall must have opened her previous wound again. But Micha ignored the almost familiar pain, focusing all of her fury on the woman before her.’_

  
Grillby continued to turn the pages of the second chapter in a trance. It was surprisingly good and he was actually looking forward to reading more. Not that he was ever going to admit that to Renee… He would never hear the end of it. “Fuck.” Grillby muttered as he began the third chapter.

  
“Are you a fan?” He looked up, catching the woman’s hesitant brown eyes behind her glasses. He made a questioning noise. She motioned to the book in his hand. “Of the author.”

  
Grillby scoffed as he returned his gaze to the page. “No.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a better look at the soulmate and Grillby gets a teasing.

There was an odd feeling of disappointment that spread across his soul after uttering his response. Grillby could only assume that meant she was a fan of Anerin Foster and was hoping to have something to talk about with him. But actually… he did want to talk about this with someone. Usually he read more historical pieces, whether they were historical fiction or true accounts. His fascination with this fantastical piece was unnerving to him, making him want to discuss what he had already read.

  
“My co-worker is. Drove me up the wall recently, begging me to read this. Told her I’d read the first chapter if she left me alone.”

  
Her gaze flashed down to the book. “You… seem a bit farther than chapter one though.”

  
“I know and I hate myself for it.” He sighed. “I was expecting to hate it, but it’s surprisingly good.”

  
“Have you met Adaia yet?” A smirk spread across her lips that Grillby found he didn’t entirely hate. He shook his head. “I feel like you’ll enjoy that meeting.” The glimmer in her eye was almost… he actually wasn’t sure what to call it. But it was interesting.

  
Grillby glanced down at the book in her hands and found himself grinning. It was one he had finished a few weeks prior, historical fiction by an author whose early work was definitely better than his current stuff. “Have you met Jethro yet?” He asked in a similar tone.

  
She lit up. “Yes! What is his deal?!” Grillby snorted. Everybody hates Jethro. She ranted for a bit, Grillby listening in pure amusement as many of his thoughts were mirrored in her words. Gone was the timid woman he had helped the night before. This woman was someone entirely different as he added in his own observations of the character. He asked her where she was in the book to avoid spoiling it for her.

  
“That is the definition of a plot hole.” Grillby groaned as she brought up the only part of the book he had vehemently disliked.

  
“I’m really surprised someone didn’t catch it before it was sent to printing. The company he published with is usually really strict about clearing stuff like that up.” A man several rows down barked out a laugh that shattered the calm quiet in the store. The woman jolted in her seat and it was like a spell had been broken. Her shoulders hunched forward and she swept her gaze around, never meeting his. “Um, sorry. I didn’t mean to bother you while you were reading.”

  
She opened her own book and settled in. Nothing jumped out at him through their bond. It was calm and quiet like it had been the night before. He went back to reading as well but was having trouble concentrating on the page he felt he had been reading for an hour. What had happened to her? She was so excited and open and talkative. Grillby had actually been enjoying their conversation.

  
It wasn’t often he found someone willing to discuss books and history with him. She spoke with understanding, intelligence, rather than just repeating what everyone else had in reviews. She had a mind of her own. Grillby liked that. He nearly shook his head. This woman was nothing to him. If she sat next to him to read that was one thing, but she was not a friend. He didn’t want any kind of a relationship with her. And she didn’t appear to want much of one with him either. But he couldn’t get that damn smirk out of his head.

  
Grillby took a deep breath and focused on the chapter. ‘Why was any of this relevant? She could feel her irritation growing. Just thinking about her parents made her twitchy, actually having to talk about them made her down right homicidal. “Ariana and Michael Roselon. Professional sons-a-bitches.” She spat, looking to the side.’ Grillby snorted. Okay, that was actually kind of funny. Another hour passed and Grillby’s coffee and muffin were officially gone. He wanted to get another cup, but he also wanted to keep reading.

  
The book wasn’t particularly long and he wondered slightly if he could finish it before work? Maybe that was being too ambitious. He double checked the time on his phone, surprised at the time and number of text messages he had amassed during the morning.

  
***Renee-of-sunshine***

  
**(X-XXX-XXX-XXXX)**

  
**R: Grillby!**

  
**R: You better be reading that chapter!**

  
**R: Also, can I borrow like five bucks for dinner tonight?**

  
**R: Rent killed my bank account. T.T**

  
Grillby shook his head. What the hell.

  
**Grillby: No.**

  
***Linae Starr***

  
**(X-XXX-XXX-XXXX)**

  
**L: Hey, just a heads up, my friend wants to hit up your bar for her bachelorette party. Begging you, hands and knees, don’t fuck her.**

  
There was a beautiful moment that Grillby could not stop himself from leaning forward as deep chuckles shook his shoulders. Linae was one of few people Grillby could actually consider a close friend. She was a hard bitch with amazing tits. But an amazingly cool and straight head on her shoulders. He quickly typed back.

  
**Grillby: I make no promises. Unless you want to take her place.**

  
**L: I will eat your soul matchstick.**

  
He shook his head and chuckled again as he stood, pocketing his phone and the book. There was just enough time for him to scrounge up something to eat before work. But as he was leaving… “Um! Oh-wait a second!” Grillby had actually forgotten about the human woman. She had stood as well and was knotting her fingers together nervously. “Um- so…” He watched as she seemed to put all of her resolve and courage into… holding her hand out to him. He looked from it to her eyes which were refusing to meet his gaze and back again. “I… I’m Ann.” She said, voice hesitant. “I realized that- well- I never really introduced myself last night.”

  
Ann. Well… it fit her. What a simple and boring name for a simple and boring human. He took her hand and he could feel shock spike across their bond. “Grillby.”

  
“Grillby.” Ann said, committing it to memory. “That’s… really nice, actually.”

  
Their hands dropped and Grillby nodded to her before turning and making his way out the door. He felt it. But he didn’t want to acknowledge it. The absolute last thing he wanted was to feel that little feeling that was spreading across his soul. Same as last night. Hope. But also just like the night before, it was snatched away, leaving a hollow mark on their bond.

  
Yes, Grillby didn’t want to feed her hope, but he was so damn curious as to why she kept burying it. Don’t most people just ignore that little feeling if they don’t want it to grow? It’s like she’s trying to kill it. While Grillby didn’t know much about her, he felt like he saw a side of Ann that didn’t come out very often today. However, Ann in general kind of annoyed him.

  
Grillby snagged something small at a convenience store as he walked to the bar. Tomorrow was the beginning of his weekend and he wasn’t sure what to do with the time. He guessed he could look into this author’s other work since he found the fantasy so intriguing. Ugh. Grillby could already feel the victorious smirking and comments coming his way from Renee. For being such a little human with an innocent face, she could be really sassy.

  
Upon entering the unopened bar, he was assaulted by said small human as she pestered him with questions and odd joyful noises. All Grillby could do was sigh and move along in his opening procedures. “Yes, I read the first chapter. Stop asking.”

  
“What did you think?!” She squealed.

  
“The opening was… strong.”

  
Renee leveled him with a knowing smirk. “You kept reading, didn’t you Grillby?” He simply sighed and turned away but that was all the answer she needed. How she managed to finish her task list so quickly while simultaneously teasing him and doing some odd victory dance was beyond him. By the time they opened he was sure he had broken some world record of calling her a brat in his mind.

  
It was busy fairly early on which finally gave Grillby a break from it all. He could lose himself in work like he once had in this business, falling naturally into his old habits of bartending and customer service. He just couldn’t wait for the day he would be legally allowed to open up his own place again. Not that his boss was awful. But it wasn’t the same.

  
True to her typed words, Linae Starr sauntered into the bar with a group of already tipsy women, one of whom wore a large glitter bombed sash that read ‘bride’. His friend had been a long time companion underground and he felt slightly bad for not talking to her more often. But Linae took to the humans quite easily. Most likely because she was more humanoid than most monsters were. Her only real tells were the lavender skin tone and the second set of arms.

  
She sat at the bar before him, tiny black dress riding up on her legs. What a show, he thought with a grin. “Sup, friend.”

  
“My magic if you don’t pull down that skirt.” He muttered. While he had had harmless fun with Linae in the past, those days were over. His friend was one of many monsters who discovered their human soulmates after they arrived on the surface. So, while they still liked to flirt, Grillby was left with only his memories of her tight body under him, over him, against a wall….

  
Linae tossed her head back as she laughed, a deep throaty sound. “Down boy. How about you make me a fishbone to cool off.”

  
Grillby shook his head, grinning as he reached for the necessary liquors to make her favorite drink. He set the glass down before her and turned to take the request of one of the women who had come in with her. They kept him busy that was for sure. But Grillby preferred it that way. Less time to spend thinking about his life’s most recent development. Though he was pleasantly surprised the bond was calm and quiet all night.

  
As the night was beginning to wind down and Grillby paused to dry a few glasses, Linae rose her brow at him. Her lips released the straw in her drink to lightly blow at him. It was her tell that she was feeling the alcohol. “Grillby, something is on your mind.” She sang.

  
“Not even a little.” He countered quickly.

  
She rolled her golden eyes. “Please, how long have I known you? What’s rolling around in that hot head of yours?” Ah that smirk…

  
Grillby sighed. She was as close to a best friend as monsters generally got. The way the underground had been, there really wasn’t much comradery in the end. Showing trust got you dusted. Showing much of any emotion other than wary anger got you dusted. Grillby had preferred the mask of indifference he still wore. But Linae was his friend. He did trust her and had many times in the underground. He sighed again and leaned on his elbows on the bar. “Look… last night… last night I met my soulmate.”

  
“What?!” Two voices shrieked. One was low and smooth, obviously Linae. The other had been high and shrill, just like… Grillby winced as he slowly turned to find Renee standing next to him, mouth a perfect O and black eyes wide. She grabbed his arms and shook. “You met your soulmate and didn’t tell me?!”

  
Of course, her being comically smaller than him, her shaking didn’t do much. Grillby pulled his arms away and crossed them over his chest. “Since when do I have to tell you shit about my life?”

  
“What is she like! Tell me tell me tell me!”

  
“Is it a she?” Linae teased.

  
For fucks sake. Grillby groaned. “Yes, my soulmate is a she.” He answered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “And I don’t really know anything about her.” He had hoped that would be the end of it, but when is it ever? All the way up to closing the two pestered him with questions about his soulmate. How old was she? Is she pretty? Does he like her? Does she like him? On and on to the point that if could cry he would have done so in pure relief once it was time to leave. He walked as quickly as he could away from the bar and the still twittering women. Linae had abandoned her friends after they decided to go home to continue to torment Grillby.

  
Bitch.

  
Yet Grillby smiled. He continued to smile all the way home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grillby feels the pull of the bond and learns something about Ann.

It had been a rather uneventful week. His weekend had passed much like he thought it would, filled with books and more coffee than a monster should really consume. Grillby hadn’t seen much of Ann either, besides the day he had finished ‘Strands of Black’. She had sat beside him quietly, only flashing him a hesitant smile before pouring into her own book (which was another historical piece Grillby had read and enjoyed.) She had watched as he finally finished the book and then proceeded to put his head in his hands and growl.

  
It had ended with such a dramatic and tense cliffhanger. There was that feeling of losing an orgasm again. It was frustrating beyond belief! The book had only been out for a few weeks so he didn’t expect the next one to be hitting the shelves any time soon. But she didn’t ask him if he was okay, or even slip into that mode of excitement to talk about the ending. She had only sat there for a moment, watching him with eyes he couldn’t decipher before putting her book away and waving goodbye. He hasn’t seen her since.

  
Not that it really bothered him. Though… recently his soul had been pulsing with something he wasn’t used to. His soul was crying out, reaching for its mate. His soul was lonely. It had started to affect Grillby slightly. Renee noticed. Because of course she did. But she seemed sympathetic more than anything and didn’t bother him about it.  
It was Grillby’s weekend once again and he found himself barely wanting to get out of bed. This wasn’t like him at all. Sure his motivation could be spotty sometimes, however he usually at least felt some compulsion to get out and piss off Muffett for ten minutes. He let his eyes wander to the slightly cloudy sky outside his sliding glass door. Spring was in full swing. Random rain showers included.

  
With a sigh, Grillby managed to push himself up to dress and double check his mess of flames. Not great… but acceptable. After making sure the door was locked behind him, Grillby shoved his hands in his jeans pockets and made his way to the stairwell. That tugging and ache in his chest was getting rather persistent and he rubbed at it slightly as he stepped onto the nearly empty sidewalk.

  
The store Muffett worked in was only a two minute walk from his building, and the thought of her grimace and forced customer service politeness was beginning to make him feel better. But the moment he entered the empty store and Muffett caught sight of him she only flashed concern at him. “Look, not that I care, but you are really looking rough.”

  
“Thank you for the unsolicited commentary.” He shot back.

  
Muffett’s eyes flashed down where Grillby was once again absently rubbing at his soul. Five yellow beady eyes widened simultaneously, nearly filling the top half of her face. “Oh my stars.” Shit. He knew that tone and sick grin. “You found your fucking soulmate.”

  
“Damn it, Muffett. Just make the coffee.”

  
“And you’ve been away long enough for your soul to notice?! Let me guess, she’s smart enough to run for the hills?”

  
“Muffett-”

  
“Took one look at you and screamed bloody murder?”

  
“Seriously, Muffett-”

  
“Wait, wait, one more.” He crossed his arms and sighed as she giggled. “She didn’t think you were a good _match_ and decided not to _stick_ around!” Grillby shook his head as she doubled over, howling with laughter.

  
It took a moment before she finally took a deep breath and met his gaze. “Done?”

  
“Yeah, I got it all out. Usual?” Muffett was quick making the coffee, though she did lapse into small giggle fits every now and then. When she handed the coffee over though she grabbed his wrist to keep him from leaving. “Seriously though. Clean yourself up, go get laid or something. It freaks me out when you’re like this.”

  
Grillby rolled his eyes. Maybe he should start getting coffee somewhere else. Did he really look that bad though? He could understand Renee being concerned, he saw her almost every day. She could easily tell when he wasn’t burning bright. But Muffett was the bitch he used to compete with underground. And even she was showing him concern… and telling him to get laid?

  
His mind briefly played with the image of him and Ann in bed before he slapped it away. Not even with the devils own dick. Yet he still found himself hopeful at seeing her as he stepped into the book store that day. It was quiet, except for a small group of people standing around a new display off to the side. Grillby always found new work interesting, depending on the author and genre.

  
Moving closer to the group he noticed it was a coming soon display. Hope filled his chest when he saw it. ‘Flecks of Gold’ by Anerin Foster. The second book in the Mage Rebellion trilogy. How had she finished the second book so soon? ‘Strands of Black' had been out less than a month! He wasn’t complaining obviously. The release date at the bottom of the flyer put it on shelves next week. On the table in front of it was a collection of Anerin Fosters other work.

  
Grillby had actually taken the time in the past week to read a few of her other works. They all seemed to stay within the genre of fantasy except for her very first publication. He hadn’t read it, however Renee had stated that it wasn’t as great as her later works. It was apparently a historical fiction based in the nineteen twenties Chicago era. Following three sisters as they lived their lives in the beginning of the great depression and through the worst of the uprising of organized crime.

  
It had been awhile since Grillby had actually bought a book. He usually did what most other regulars did. Grab a book, sit back for a while, read what you can, come back the next day to finish it. Maybe he would buy that one and spend time in the park instead. He picked up the dark covered book. ‘Of Vice and Virtue’. It was only five dollars due to its lack of popularity. Mind made up, he took the book to the counter and passed over the money before leaving the store.

  
The dreary clouds had passed and revealed the sun, warming up the small park. Many people used it as a shortcut and children could be seen playing in its wide field at all hours of the day. But like the book store it was generally quiet. Grillby found a spot against a large flowering tree to relax and crack open the book.

  
‘There was always an odd smell just past the threshold of the flower shop Nora Normandy basically called her second home. It wasn’t the mix of the bright flowers perfume. One could smell that after taking a second step into the store. No one really knew what it was. Not her boss, not her coworkers, and certainly not the customers whose faces always twisted in confusion when they first walked in.’

  
Like most of Fosters work, it started out very strong with allusion to greater happenings later on. He was actually coming to care about what would happen to these sisters as they slowly became more and more involved with the mob bosses in their neighborhood. He honestly didn’t see what Renee had been talking about. It was different from her new work. But this was much more honest. Grillby could tell it was passion and care and excitement that filled the pages of the book.

  
It was easier for Grillby to get lost in the words when he didn’t have time ticking away at him before work. And if he was being honest, he would have sat there well into the evening, letting his flames light the pages until he was finished with the book. A breeze blew in somewhere in the middle of chapter seven, carrying the most calming scent of new book and cinnamon with it. It was like a coil had eased in his chest the moment he smelled it and his head lifted.

  
Grillby hated the fact that his natural monster instincts were so excited at the fact his soulmate was near-by. His soul twisted and pushed and lept like it was about to see a long lost friend. This was the part Grillby had always been dreading. His instincts couldn’t make him fall in love or even necessarily like his soulmate. But they could force him to want to be around her. However… he was reminded of the day she had discussed that historical fiction with him. If his soul did make him want to spend time with her… they at least had something to talk about.

  
Ann walked past the tree he lounged under, absently humming and a small package wrapped in brown paper hugged to her chest. She looked tired. Loose jeans, an Earth tone blouse and dark green cardigan covered her and did nothing to hide the slouch and tucked shoulders of her posture. Those bags under her eyes and hollowed cheeks painted a slightly concerning picture. But despite how obviously exhausted she was, Ann was smiling. She walked past with a content and hopeful smile on her naturally pink lips.  
She was heading in the direction of the bookstore. Grillby used an old receipt as a bookmark and got up. “Ann.” He called, stepping onto the path behind her.

  
She turned with surprise, eyes flashing behind her glasses before she realized who it was who had called out. “Oh, Grillby.” Hope. It lifted in his soul. He waited, expecting her to squash it as she normally did. However the feeling remained longer, grew in fact for a moment before he actually saw her expression drop before the emotion was ripped away. Shame took its place.

  
“Heading to the store?” He asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

  
She nodded and pushed at some fringe hanging in her face. “I was… actually hoping to find you there. Um- not that I really expect to, we haven’t known each other for very long. I, uh.. Don’t have your number. So I couldn’t ask, but I figured it was a safe bet and if I didn’t find you then I could just wait or-”

  
“Ann.” She stopped, face glowing red. “Focus.”

  
“Right. Sorry. Um… here!” She pushed the package at him and avoided his gaze. Okay. Grillby gingerly took the package and raised a flaming brow. “It’s… a present.” Ann’s smile dropped a bit and she nervously rang her hands together. “I know… you aren’t exactly happy with the soulmate thing. Some people don’t like the idea of fate deciding… anything in their lives. But I was just… hoping that maybe… we could at least be friends. I’d like to get to know you. So I thought that getting you a gift would help.”

  
… Huh. Well, he had to admire her candor and persistence. Grillby set the package over his book, noticing it was roughly the same size and tore at the thick brown paper. “What the fuck?” He asked slowly, in pure awe. Peeking out at him was the black and gold cover of the very book he had seen the advert for earlier. ‘Flecks of Gold’. “This isn’t supposed to be on shelves until next week. How did you get this?”

  
“I get the first prints.” Her hand nervously played with a lock of her hair. “You seemed disappointed at the end of the first book, so I thought you might like the next one.” Ann finally turned to look up at him.

  
Grillby didn’t know what to say. It was the last possible gift he could have imagined receiving. This whole situation was something he had never expected. But it was also one of the most oddly thoughtful gifts he had ever received. His soul reached out to her in it’s joy and he instantly reigned it in. Stars be damned. Muffett was right, he needed to get laid. Still, Grillby graced Ann with a rare smile and nodded to her. “Thank you. Really.”

  
She flushed again. “It’s nothing. Sorry I hav-.... Is that… ‘Of Vice and Virtue’?” She asked, voice softening in an awed shock.

  
Grillby pulled the book out from under his gift. “I bought it today. Have you read it?”

  
“Can we talk about it? Please?” Hope. Excitement. It spiked across their bond and lifted Grillby’s own mood. God’s, yes he wanted to discuss this freaking book. He motioned for her to join him and made his way to the exit of the park. It would be dark soon and he didn’t want her out. Despite his feelings on the matter of their soulmate bond, Grillby didn’t want her in any unnecessary danger.

  
They made their way to a small diner near the bar Grillby worked and snagged a table. The moment the waitress walked away with their drink orders, Ann launched into an excited tirade of the book. At this point, Grillby was certain she was a fan of Anerin Foster. Who else would receive the first prints of her books and be so excited to discuss her first publication? The few times he had talked with Ann though he noticed she read a lot of the same genre he had. It was a pleasant surprise.

  
Being friends… Well… He didn’t see why not. His friend circle was fairly small. While Grillby liked it as such he was old enough to know that even he needed to make a new friend every once in a while. His eyes lowered slightly as he watched Ann’s animated gestures as she made her point. That’s right… He supposed his long life span was over now that he had found his soulmate. It was bound to happen. He was just happy it happened when he had already lived his life.

  
Grillby couldn’t ever see himself asking Ann to do what was needed… Soulmates to monsters are more than just a partner. And when one soulmate dies… so does the other. Having a human soulmate would cut his life short once she passed in sixty odd years. There was a way to extend a human life to match his… but…

  
“Ann and Anthony were always my favorite of the three pairings. Not just because I share a name with the character either.” Ann said with a chuckle.

  
Grillby grinned. “Their dynamic is different. Nora and Michael are the comedic relief and Diz and John are pure passion and drama. But those two…”

  
“Yes! Because Ann and Anthony are all about growth and learning to understand each other. Because Ann doesn’t understand emotions the way everyone else does, it takes Anthony the patient goofball to really understand her and help her experience emotions in a way she can understand too.” She took a drink and gazed out the window beside them. “Everyone I’ve talked to has always said they didn’t care for them as a couple. They didn’t really care for Ann in general.”

  
Grillby shrugged. “I like her concept. It takes time to understand her. But once you do, she’s a well thought character.”

  
Ann turned a shy smile his way, cheeks dusting pink. The door to the diner opened just as Ann opened her mouth to speak. “Grillby!” A high voice screeched. He was practically tackled in his seat and grunted from the force of a small body wrapping around his shoulders. Renee… “I missed you at work today! Shiloh came by, I can’t believe you missed it!”

  
Grillby felt his eye twitch and watched as Ann’s lips pursed in an attempt to hide her grin. She had curled in on herself but still watched the exchange with mirth. “Renee. Get off.” He practically growled.

  
“Aw, you’re no fun.” She pouted as she pulled away. “What are you doing all the way out-.” Renee stopped dead the moment her eyes landed on Ann. He had never seen such an expression on her face. Eyes wide and mouth slightly parted. “Oh my God.” She whispered. Shit. Renee must of put the pieces together, and he was about to receive the teasing from hell. Grillby braced for it, but felt cold shock run through him instead. “Ms. Foster, you have no idea what an honor it is, I’m a HUGE fan!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the reveal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone, thank you so much for the encouragment and the comments. I really enjoy reading all of them. I would like to take a moment to say that the story may seem a little slow right now. But in the next few chapters as Grillby and Ann spend more time with each other there will be a significant uptick in not only the sweet moments but also the drama. I am a drama writer by trade and like to slow build. Please stick with me and I promise you will not be disappointed.

Grillby sat back in shock, head whipping around to face Ann. She curled in on herself with her gaze darting back and forth around the room. “Oh… A fan. Um- I don’t usually- I mean it’s- um… Hi.”

  
“Ms. Foster, I loved ‘Strands of Black’! Would you sign my- oh shoot, I don’t have it.” Renee was oddly flustered, but Grillby wasn’t paying her any attention. His full and undivided attention was set solely on his soulmate for the first time since they met.

  
She rubbed her arm. “You- you can just call me Ann… Um… I can sign a napkin?” Renee nearly burst with excitement as she passed her a pen to sign on one of the diner napkins. Ann neatly scrawled her name across the flimsy material and handed it over to his co-worker. ‘Anerin Sydney Foster’.

  
Grillby cleared his throat and the women turned back to him. “Holy shit, Grillby! Why didn’t you tell me?! You know I love Anerin Foster's work!”

  
“I didn’t know.” He said, tone sharp and low. If Ann could have shrunk any farther into the vinyl of the diners booth she would have. She looked guilty and kept her gaze down. “Ann? Want to explain?”

  
Pale. That was the only word he could use to describe her at that moment. Panic and guilt spread across their bond as thick as paste and only got worse any time she glanced up at him. But then she did the oddest thing. Ann took her glasses off and set them on the table between them. Slowly her breathing and mood evened out. Renee pulled a chair up and stared like she was watching a TV drama.

  
Finally, Ann took a deep breath and looked up at him. Had she been wearing her glasses, he might believe she was meeting his eyes, but he knew she couldn’t even see them like this. “I’m sorry. Really. I just… Normally, people don’t recognize me and so when you didn’t recognize me I thought we could get to know each other and talk and it would be genuine because I’m just me and not ‘Anerin Foster’ the author and then after awhile I would tell you but then it would be fine because you actually liked me for me and-”  
“Ann, for fucks sake, breath.” Grillby growled.

  
She flushed and took a moment to compose herself. Before Ann had a chance to begin another tirade Renee spoke up. “Hold up. Grillby, this is your soulmate?” She asked incredulously. He sighed and nodded. “Oh my God. Hi, Renee Costa. Friend of Grillby’s.” She stuck her eager hand out to Ann.

  
Ann gingerly took it and shook. “Ann. Um…” She turned back to Grillby and worried her hands together. “Are you mad?”

  
“Yes. Unbelievably so.” Standing, Grillby set a five on the table for their drinks and brushed past a surprised Renee.

  
“Ah! Wait! Please!” But he didn’t. Grillby continued out of the diner like he had never heard her. The sun had gone down at this point leaving only the shoddy street lamps and his own purple fire to light the street. Yes. Grillby was undeniably angry with Ann. If there was one thing he hated more than anything it was being lied to. It had been such an amazing visit as well. How long would she have kept who she really was a secret, that was the question he asked the most.

  
She wanted to be friends. Well… he couldn’t be friends with someone he didn’t know. Grillby continued down the sidewalk toward home. His long legs made the distance that much shorter and he was grateful for it in that moment. The only thing he wanted to do was be home and smoke a cigarette in peace. His grip on the books in his hand tightened. Most humans might call it white knuckled grip, but Grillby didn’t turn white in anger. His flames always grew darker, dimmer when he was angry.

  
The tap of footfalls sounded behind him before Ann turned in front of him and pressed her hands to his chest, bringing him to a halt. Desperation was strong across their bond. Pain and regret dotted along it as well. Her eyes were wide and wet with unshed tears. “Grillby, please!” He crossed his arms across his chest and stared her down. Ann shrunk under his gaze but didn’t move away. “I-I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. Please, you- you have to understand. I just… I wanted- I didn’t want to lie to you! I just wanted to know… that any friendship you showed… or any affection… it was because of me. Not…”

  
The way she worried her hands quickly and rough he began to worry she might hurt herself. Even then he could see the red developing across her knuckles. “A lie by omission is still a lie. I hate being lied to most of all.”

  
Ann nodded slowly, brown eyes raising once more to meet his gaze through their respective glasses. “I… I’m sorry. Ummm….” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Slowly, her hand rose between them like she wanted to shake his hand. “My name is Anerin Foster… But I prefer Ann, if you don’t mind too much. And… I’m really sorry I didn’t introduce myself properly the first time… Can you… forgive me?”

  
Hope, guilt, anxiety, self-doubt, all of these emotions twisted together and flooded the bond like a dam had broken. That feeling of hope was strong he noticed at the beginning. But it ebbed away quickly until it was only a flicker of emotion almost too weak to be projected across their bond. Briefly, Grillby wondered how long until she herself was able to feel his own strong emotions. It had been a week since they met but humans can be an enigma when it comes to bonds with monsters.

  
His own co-worker… maybe friend… Shiloh was bonded to a monster. She had been much like himself in the sense she was unwilling to accept her soulmate at first. It had taken some time for her bond to settle, but once it had she had much the same senses as a normal monster bond. She was able to scent her soulmate and even other monsters she was close to. Shiloh had also been able to feel those strong emotions from her mate. It made them closer.

  
Grillby knew it was an eventuality. After all, one sided bonds were ridiculously rare and traditionally only affected those who despised their mates. As much as Grillby didn’t care for the soulmate thing, he couldn’t say he despised Ann. Before this mess, he was actually beginning to enjoy their discussions. The weight of the books in his hand reminded him though. He found her quite talented. If these stories were the thoughts she was able to put to paper, what else could be swirling around in that mind of hers.

  
It was difficult to find someone willing to have an intelligent discussion with. But that didn’t change the fact that Grillby was pissed. His eyes narrowed slightly behind his glasses. “How long exactly were planning on keeping your identity from me?”

  
“I-i… Never actually meant to hide it.” She said, face flushing.

  
“You didn’t tell me either.”

  
“You didn’t ask.” The words were mumbled, like she didn’t want him to hear them. But he did. Grillby winced slightly. Okay, he could admit his own fault in the matter. He had never asked her who she was. Ann had stopped him as he was leaving to tell him her name. And Grillby was so adamant about keeping a line of distance between them he had never asked her the other times they were together. It should have been obvious. Who gets the first prints of a book? The author. What woman would the universe pair him with knowing he was determined to stay emotionally distant from her? The author of a book he was determined not to enjoy.

  
Some of the fire died as he realized his own fault in the matter.

  
Ann still held her hand out for him to shake. But instead of taking it in his own, he pressed down on it gently, telling her to drop it. Disappointment painted her face. “I’ll think about it. I’m still upset and I want to calm down before I give you an answer.” Before she could respond, he held out his hand palm up. “Can I see your phone?” Ann’s Brows knit slightly as she reached for her pocket and pulled it out. His fingers were quick and he passed it back, feeling the surprise through the bond as she realized he had given her his number.

  
“I- you- Are you- I just-...” Ann sputtered, attempting to find the right words. But they never came. Instead, twin rivers of tears poured down her face as she crumpled before him, face in her hands and shoulders shaking. Relief.

  
That was confusing to Grillby. He hadn’t forgiven her, why was she so relieved she was crying? He didn’t exactly know how to handle the situation of a crying woman in front of him either. Grillby knew he didn’t want to hug her, but at the same time he felt like doing nothing was a dick move. So awkward shoulder pats it was.

  
The crying didn’t last long. When Ann next looked up she simply sniffled and pulled off her now slightly disgusting glasses. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… make you uncomfortable.” Uncomfortable was an understatement. But Grillby was old enough to recognize signs of trauma. Crying from something as simple as receiving a phone number? Screams past issues.

  
He shrugged. “It’s fine.” Ann quickly cleaned off her glasses and replaced them before meeting his gaze. The sight of the red sclera and dark, puffed skin around her eyes shouldn’t have made Grillby feel as worried as it did. Seeing her cry hadn’t hurt nearly as much as seeing the aftermath. “I’m still mad. But I’m… willing to be friends.”

  
She gave him a soft and teary smile before sniffling. “Would- would you mind… walking me home?” It was technically on the way to his place. Why not. Grillby placed a hand to her back and moved her forward with him, dropping the hand after a few steps. It was quiet. Grillby didn’t have much to say as he was still mulling through what had happened before. Generally he didn’t speak unless he had something to say anyway. Even then it was a toss up of whether or not he was actually going to say it.

  
Renee had once told him that was why he managed to snag so many bedmates. Everyone is a sucker for the silent, mysterious type. Not to mention his being a monster made him ‘exotic’. From what he gathered, Ann enjoyed the quiet as well. It’s just that when she does start talking she doesn’t know to friggin stop. But… Her rambling was kind of cute. It was a wonder what would spew from her next. Also how animated her expressions were when she rambled…

  
He was not seriously thinking Ann was cute and adorable, was he? He was getting sick. That was the only explanation he could think of. They walked in near silence for almost the entire fifteen minute walk to her building. It was just a block away when Ann finally said something. “Um… Grillby. I wanted to ask a question. About… our… situation.”

  
“I assume you mean the soulmate situation.”

  
“Yes. Um… So, I know how it works for humans, high school health class and everything. But, is it different… for monsters? How does it usually work for humans and monsters… together?”

  
Great. Grillby always wanted to be a teacher. Please note the heavy sarcasm. But, he figured a few of the most basic differences would sait her for the time being. “How much do you know about monsters?”

  
“I know that you all are made from magic and that magic manifests from the soul.”

  
“Close. We are made of magic, but our soul is the culmination of our being. It is us essentially. All of our emotions, memories, magic, comes from the soul. When a monster finds their soulmate… it’s a big deal. Monsters, because we are so close with our souls, have the ability to feel strong emotions from our soulmates.”

  
Ann stumbled from surprise and glanced up at him. “Oh, gosh golly, I must have been bothering you all week! I’m sorry.”

  
Oh there was that phrase again! Why did Grillby find it so hilarious!? He snorted and covered his mouth. Damn it. “Are you sure your emotions were strong? I didn’t feel anything.”

  
“Really?” Her head tilted to the side, brown hair falling over her shoulder. “I was an emotional wreck. Went from angry to depressed to elated in the span of five minutes.”

  
“Don’t know what to tell you. Not a peep from the bond.”

  
It was quiet for a bit longer as they turned the corner and came face to face with the front of her building. Grillby waited to make sure she got in okay, smiling to himself as she turned and waved to him. Okay, he was still angry she hadn’t told him who she really was. But Ann was nice to talk to. In all honesty… he could see them being friends. With that thought, Grillby turned to home with every intention of drinking that thought away.


	6. Chapter 6

“Don’t even start.” Grillby commanded an overeager Renee the moment he walked into the bar.

  
She pouted. “But Grillby!” The whine of his name pulsed in his ears like a too loud alarm. He could feel it already, Renee was going to make his life hell this week. Especially since Grillby had pointedly been ignoring her text messages since the other day. It had been a blessed few days. One more day of his regular weekend away from that place and one night there that he wasn’t working with the tiny ball of evil sunshine.

  
“We are not talking about it.”

  
“See, you say that-” Renee’s grin spread as her eyes lowered. No. Oh hell no. Nope. Not today satan.

  
Grillby began to set up the bar, doing his damndest to ignore her begging and pleading. He could have swore he heard her trying to bribe him at one point. Not. Today. Satan. Blessedly, she was called away by another coworker and he was able to finish his opening tasks in peace. They had a strange relationship. Yes, Renee pissed him off and annoyed him to no end. But at the same time he was oddly proud of her when she skipped into the bar, beaming and announcing that she had gotten an A on a test or gleefully explained something she learned from one of her college classes.

  
There had been a few nights that he had perhaps gone a little overboard protecting her from overly handsy patrons. But there had also been nights that she had gone red in the face telling off a racist human who didn’t appreciate a monster mixing his drinks. Grillby tended to help all of his coworkers if he thought they needed it. But he was oddly protective of her. Renee had once said she was full of ‘Latin fire’ and could handle herself. He wasn’t about to chance it though.

  
This time though, he wasn’t about to give in to her. What she had witnessed the other night wasn’t… fully resolved. While he had given Ann his number and saved hers after she had texted it to him, he hadn’t fully forgiven her. They were taking it slow. The past few days had been simple texts. ‘Hey, how are you’, ‘I saw this and thought you might like it’. That sort of deal. It was nice. She wanted to finish their discussion on ‘Of Vice and Virtue’ tonight at her place since he got off work earlier.

  
He agreed because he finished it and was burning to vent all the frustrations that had built in his mind from the goings on of the story. And considering he would be discussing the book with it’s author he figured he would be able to get some real incite to it all.

  
By the time Renee was able to rejoin him up at the bar, several patrons had already entered and begun their descent into oblivion. All night his mind wondered as he mixed drinks and vaguely listened to the woes and ‘funny’ stories of those he served. A few patrons hit on him, obviously three sheets to the wind and wondering what it would be like with a monster made of fire. Normally, Grillby would pick and choose the a) least drunk and b) most attractive patron. But he already had a date.

  
Nope, back it up. Not a date, not calling it a date, nowhere near a date. Stars and white light, he hoped Ann had wine. A few hours of a nice buzz should set him back in a proper head space. Grillby pulled on his jacket once he clocked out and waved to a still pouting Renee as he left the busy bar. Hehehe, suck a dick.

  
Being the very beginning of spring the nights were still cold. Grillby didn’t need the jacket persay, but it was his favorite. A dark leather that had begun to weather at the cuffs and collar from use. It was thrift store gold. Grillby pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Ann as he grew closer to her building.

*Bookstore Ann*  
X-XXX-XXX-XXXX

Grillby: omw  
BA: Okay! Let me know when you’re downstairs and I’ll meet you.

Ann’s building had crazy security. He had remembered the first night they met when she had blindly handed over her keys so they could take the elevator up to her floor. Apparently, each floor is key secured and has bucu cameras surveying the halls at all times. Now Grillby could understand her living in such a secure building. Being a well known author could result in a few uninvited guests, both of pure and evil intent. Grillby thought the underground had gotten bad, the surface had some real psychopaths.  
It was about even, honestly. He had seen a guy get dusted by his place in hotland once for whistling. And he had seen a news article on Facebook the other day about a woman who killed her boyfriend because he ate her salsa or something? What the hell?

  
Grillby pulled out his phone once again to let Ann know he was outside her building. He leaned against the wall by the door and decided a bit of people watching was in order. This late in the day there really weren't too many people still out and about. But he did notice one young couple, oozing awkward sexual tension. A first date if he had to guess. There was a woman pacing outside one of the stores across the street. She was twitchy, face sallow and hair a mess. He couldn’t help but notice the scratches and scabs on her exposed arms. No coat. Drugs hit that woman like a truck…

  
A little boy yelled as he was pulled down the sidewalk in front of him by a great dane on a leash. What Grillby assumed to be his parents fought off laughter as they followed behind. There were a few more people who passed here and there, but they were utterly uninteresting. Finally, the door opened and Ann smiled in greeting. “Ack! Cold!”  
Grillby snorted. “Is it? I hadn’t noticed.”

  
Ann narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth to retaliate when another voice cut through the air. “Ann?! Annie?! Baby?!” Panic, fear, and pain lanced through Grillby through the bond and Ann paled before him faster than he thought possible.

  
“No. Nonono, how do you keep finding me?” She moaned lowly. Shivers took over her body that Grillby suspected had nothing to do with the cold. Grillby placed a hand on her shoulder and lifted his gaze at the person who put such fear in her. The druggie he had noticed across the street now stumbled across to them, hope and desperation in her eyes.

  
Ann slowly turned, shoulders pinched in a defensive stance. But she grabbed his hand on her shoulder tightly like she was fighting not to throw a punch. “Mama…” Excuse me, who? Grillby looked back over the woman. She wasn’t very tall and now that he was really looking could see her eyes held the same shape and color as Ann’s. Her nose had obviously been broken a few times, but he could see the similar shape there as well. “I told you… you can’t keep looking for me, Mama.”

  
“Baby, please. I need help. I need my baby girl. Mama can’t…” She bit her lip and large tears spilled from her eyes. “Mama’s in trouble, Annie.”

  
It was obvious Ann was uncomfortable from the way she shifted and moved her eyes from focus to focus. “You’re always in trouble…” She muttered weakly.

  
The moment the woman stepped forward and tried to touch Ann Grillby pushed her behind him, glare bright and powerful. She stumbled back with wide and fearful eyes. Ann gripped the back of his jacket in shaking fists and something inside of him seemed to snap. He might not know why Ann was so afraid of her, but damn if he was going to let her get even an inch closer to his soulmate. It was an instinctual protectiveness, yes, but one Grillby accepted and fed from in that situation.

  
Previous argument be damned.

  
Grillby nearly growled as the woman stood in shock before him, hand still outstretched. “You-” She stuttered. Her eyes lit with something not entirely sane. “You can’t keep me from my baby! Give me my baby!”

  
“Take another step and the coroner won’t be able to identify your remains.” Grillby hissed, pushing back on Ann’s hips to direct her toward the door. The woman kept screaming, pulling at her hair, throwing herself at the wall of the building. Demanding her ‘baby’ with every other breath. They made it into the building and a security officer at the desk was already on the phone with the local police department.

  
Ann didn’t say a word as he guided her to the elevator and down the hall to her apartment. She simply hugged herself and moved where directed. It was incredibly worrying. Once inside, Grillby sat her on the couch and patted her shoulder. “Ann. Hey. Seriously, I need you to tell me if you’re okay or not.”

  
She looked up, not really seeing him at first. A small shake of the head and she was on her feet. “I- Gosh golly, why today? I need alcohol. Do you drink? I feel like that’s a stupid question. I have a few different reds and some mango vodka? Do I still have the vodka…? I drank the vodka. Nevermind. Oh! Bourbon! I got bourbon for my birthday last month, do you want-”

  
“Ann, I’m getting real tired of saying this. Fucking breath.”

  
She had been in the process of shuffling to the kitchen area, hands worrying at a rapid pace in front of her, and stopped dead at his words. Her back was to him. Everything was oddly tight and tense. Like the wrong move or word could break whatever was in the air at that moment.

  
_(‘She always finds me.’ The world shook and wavered before her as she tried to regain some semblance of normality. She refused to break down in front of Grillby. ‘Why can’t she leave me alone?’_

  
_“She doesn’t even want you. She never wanted you. Not until you became worth something.” The voice in her head cooed._

  
_‘What am I supposed to do?’)_

  
She let out a shaky breath and started to slowly walk to the kitchen once more. Grillby followed her and leaned against the archway leading in.

  
Her place was ridiculously nice. The cabinets in the kitchen were black and the appliances all looked to be nearly new. A few canvas wall hangings decorated the space as well as three small succulents sitting above the sink. The rest of the apartment he could see was spacious and clean as a church. She had three rather large bookshelves behind her light grey couch, a matching loveseat positioned perpendicular to it. It was so traditional yet oddly her.

  
Ann pulled down two wine glasses in silence and grabbed a bottle that had already been opened. She handed him a half full glass and stared into her own as she leaned against the counted next to him. It was good wine.

  
_(Red wine. Red like the blood from the cut on a wrist, like the pain between her legs when her mother couldn’t pay for her fix. The acrid smell that had once clung to her clothes from falling asleep in strange homes.)_

  
“I used to make wine underground. Had my own shop in Hotland too.” Ann jumped at his voice like he had startled her from a daze. While she didn’t raise her head any, Grillby could see her watching him in interest from the corner of her eye. “My shop was one of two places in the entire underground where a monster could get alcohol. I took pride in my quality.” He took a long sip and sighed. “Coming to the surface and seeing hundreds of bottles in a regular grocery store was weird.”

  
_(The images grew fuzzy in her mind, the voice distant. Sunlight broke through the dark and oppressive clouds of her own mind.)_

  
Ann chuckled quietly. “How many cheap bottles did you drink before you figured it out?” It was hard not to wince at how rough and tired her voice was.

  
“Hey, the cheap stuff is for after the good stuff. Go from buzzed to drunk for five bucks.”

  
This time, it was Ann that winced. “Oof. Wine drunk is a whole other kind of drunk.” Grillby snorted and finally she turned her head to him. A grateful smile was aimed his way as the atmosphere began to lift. It was obvious she didn’t want to talk about it. And Grillby wasn’t going to force her. Family shit is… a whole other level of shit to get into. When his family was still around it could be much the same. With a motion of his shoulder, Grillby had Ann follow him back to the couch so they could do exactly what they had planned to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, since it's Christmas week and Hanukkah has come to an end, I figured I could give everyone a gift. I have up to chapter 10 done and ready, so I'll give you guys Chapter 7 later today. Also, join me on tumbler for my mad ravings and questions I usually ask my coworkers. Click https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard to find my page.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you I'd do it. Now we're going to start getting into some shit with Linae. And Ann gets to help!

After work visits at Ann’s apartment became a routine. She never seemed to mind the late hour he usually got off from the bar and they came up with a schedule for who was responsible for alcohol what nights. Grillby didn’t go over every night, of course. But it was often enough that Grillby began to notice a certain loneliness when he walked into his small and empty apartment. He also realized at one point that he hadn’t taken anyone back to his place since meeting Ann.

  
It was a combination of things that led to that however. For one, most of the women who stumbled up on him after work now didn’t… smell right. Okay, they never smelled right, but now he couldn’t move past the odor of cheap perfume and spilled whisky. He also had been finding the women very annoying recently. Voices too shrill, laughs too stupid, or just, ya know, too stupid in general. Yes, he blamed being spoiled by intelligent conversations with Ann.

  
Next, ever since Renee had found out who his soulmate was, she had made it her life's mission to scare away all the willing men and women before he could even think about inviting them back. She was becoming very familiar with the sight of his glare. Not that it affected her in any way, the only thing that scared Renee was spiders. Oh, the first time she met Muffett. Grillby had never laughed so hard in his life.

  
That night was another night he was supposed to meet up with Ann after work. Wouldn’t you know it though, Linae Starr had decided to grace them with her presence that night. She smiled and chatted with everyone, long black hair falling in seductive waves over her shoulder and framing the deep cut of her dress. Grillby practically purred when she walked in and sat at the bar before him.

  
“Damn, Lin. Stopping souls like always.”

  
“Can it, matchstick. I’m not in the mood.” Her smile had dropped the moment she faced away from the majority of the bar.

  
Uh oh. Grillby knew that look. And as much as he wanted to continue to tease her and play their game he knew she really needed her friend. Grillby pulled the liquors he needed for her favorite drink and began to mix with an expertise only experience could give. Once the glass was in front of her, she wasted no time in knocking it back like a shot and clicking it back onto the counter. Grillby lifted a flaming brow. “Lin, that was a pint glass.”

  
“And?” She shot back, raising a brow of her own.

  
Okay then. Grillby quickly mixed another and passed it over before leaning on his arms. “Want to talk about it?”

  
It wasn’t very often he saw Linae in such a mood. Her normal state of being is generally open, flirty, and confident. Linae had a fire in her that came from being born and raised in the kill-or-be-killed underground they had both recently escaped from. While her methods of surviving that world had been different than most, she still felt the same pain, same caution, same bitter emotions that came from living like that as everyone did. Linae glared at the drink. “Tom and I are in a bit of a fight right now.”

  
Well there was a surprise. Tom happened to be her human soulmate whom she met only a month after being on the surface. He was a surprisingly accepting man at the time and they had been the monster/human power couple ever since. Linae and Tom knew how to work through their issues in healthy ways and talk to each other. So hearing that they weren’t talking was kind of shocking. Grillby motioned for her to continue and Lin sighed.

  
“I told you he was raised in a strict religious household? There are times when Tom’s views can be… a little skewed… backwards. But the longer we’re together the more open he seems to look at the world. His level of understanding grows and I have been so proud of him. Proud enough that… I decided to talk about past lovers.” He winced and Linae laughed. “Yes, I mentioned you.” A deep and familiar sadness clouded her gold eyes. “He didn’t have a problem with you. In fact, Tom found a few of our adventures very… inspiring. It was… Miera he had the problem with…”

  
Oh. Oh no. It’s well known that Monsters don’t have the same reservations about loving the same sex as humans do. Love is love. While monsters still have preferences, they don’t show and spew ridiculous hate to monsters whose preference is different from their own. It hadn’t taken long for monsters to recognize that one of the big similarities in humans who protested their very existence and fainted at their views on love were those with strict, almost cult like religious backgrounds.

  
Not to say that every human who was religious was like this. In fact, Grillby had had several very pleasant conversations with those who professed to be church members. The views and actions of these humans went from one extreme to another, but so far they hadn’t received much more than racist comments and some vandalism. There was that religious group that was kidnapping half blooded children. After some diligent investigation from the monster guard and swift (brutal) action the kidnappings ended.

  
Miera was a monster woman that Linae had been serious with for a long time while underground. She was a strong monster who was constantly getting into fights for no other reason than she loved to fight. But many monsters respected her simply for that strength. And Miera had been fiercely protective of Linae. Few times monsters had tried to go for Lin to get to her. Few because monsters decided it wasn’t worth days of torture and a slow dusting just to one up the woman. But Miera was also a subject they avoided. One day… a monster got the upperhand on Miera. One day… she didn’t return home.

  
For Linae to open up about her and willingly discuss their relationship… That was next level trust. Grillby felt his flames glowing hot with the first dregs of anger. “Problem how?”

  
Linae took a long drink before folding her hands before her face. “He… doesn’t like that I had been with a woman, pure and simple. He started to avoid looking at me, recoiled every time I touched him. I had enough. Sat him down, told him we needed to talk this out so we could move on.” Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes as she looked down and tried to recollect her emotions. Grillby felt his anger growing at the speed of light. “He said he didn’t know if he could look past it.”

  
Oh that little-! He took a few deep breaths and glanced around the bar. Last call was in an hour and the bar was fairly empty. His coworker was busy at the other end and not paying attention to them. So, he poured a shot for both of them and drank. Grillby usually tried to keep his cool, especially when listening to others. But that little fucker didn’t know what he had with Linae, and he was about to throw it away over her past? Over a woman who had been dead for almost two hundred years? He could only imagine the emotional wreck Linae had been in just telling him about Miera. Did he ignore her distress in favor of letting her know about his own opinion? Or had he at least comforted her before becoming dick of the day?

  
Linae wiped at the corner of her eye and sighed, a small smile gracing her lips. “I have hope.” The way her voice softened but kept it’s sure strength did a lot to bring his anger down. “I asked him to see a counselor with me and he agreed. Tom wants to make this work, Grillby. And I think with a little time and help, we can grow from this. And maybe… talking about Miera during the sessions… will help me.”

  
Grillby patted her shoulder. “If anyone can make this work and grow stronger from it, it’s you and Tom. Suffice to say I have a few choice words for him next time I see him.”

  
“Don’t you dare.” Linae swatted at him playfully and giggled. After taking the last swig of her drink she leveled him with a look he couldn’t describe but was becoming increasingly familiar with from Renee. “So, enough about my soulmate woe’s.” Shit. “How are things with Ann?”

  
He had told her about the identity incident during another visit but not much beyond that. He shrugged, turning to clean a few glasses. “She asked to be friends. I don’t mind talking about books and drinking her wine.”

  
The look Linae leveled him with was almost comical. “And?” She pushed.

  
“And what?”

  
“That’s it? You just… discuss books and become mildly inebriated with her?”

  
Grillby thought for a moment and nodded. “Yeah, pretty much.”

  
“Oh, my friend.” She sighed with a shake of her head. “Don’t you ever go out together? Talk about things other than books? Any of the things you always said normal people do when developing a relationship?”

  
“Why would we?” Irritation begame to grow in his soul.

  
Linae gave an emphatic shrug. “Because she made the effort to grow your relationship by asking to be friends. And all I ever hear you do is complain about her. Are you putting in any effort? Any at all?”

  
Grillby growled and put his work down. “Linae, I never even wanted this relationship. Why the hell should I put in effort?”

  
“Because you agreed to be her friend.” She shot back. He froze. “Whether you wanted it or not, you agreed to be friends. The least you could do is push aside your dislike of the soulmate bond to actually give the woman a chance.” Ouch. Okay, he had just been royally called out. “Actually, what exactly do you dislike about her? You constantly bitch about having a soulmate like her, but I’ve never heard you actually say anything about Ann as a person.”

  
Grillby stopped for a moment. He had things he didn’t like about her… but there were things about Linae he didn’t like as well. And she was his best friend. Linae passed her empty glass to him and raised a brow. “Didn’t you once give a friend a similar talk when she was having soulmate issues? Hypocrisy is not a good look, my friend.”

  
Okay, no. That was different. Shiloh had expected to hate her soulmate because of her tattoo. It was an insult. So when she finally met him she continued to project that expectation on, essentially blinding herself to her own fault in the cause of their odd meeting. Grillby didn’t expect to hate his soulmate. He had decided a long time ago that he wanted nothing to do with his soulmate. She could have been the most beautiful person the world had ever seen with literally no faults and Grillby still would have kept his distance.

  
Linae rose a brow when he explained as much as well. She took another drink and sighed. “Okay. Try this. Forget that Ann is your soulmate. Soulmates don’t even exist. She’s just a woman you know. Now, what is so wrong with Ann that you don’t want anything to do with her?”

  
Well, she’s extremely timid. Grillby prefers to spend this time with more outgoing and confident partners. Hence why he enjoys his time with Linae and Renee so much. Not to mention she’s only mildly attractive. Ann is constantly concerned about bothering people and taking up too much space, it can be extremely annoying. But… Then again he had noticed how comfortable she had been with him lately. She didn’t fidget as much and her voice had been sure and even the past few nights. And he did like how she smiled. Also he had noticed one very nice about her body. Ann has amazing tits. She had worn only a v-neck t-shirt the other day and he got a nice peek when she was setting a glass down.

  
Guess he couldn’t complain about her hips either.

  
Linae watched him as he battled internally and smiled. The alcohol was giving her a nice buzz. She blew a breath in Grillby’s direction to pull him out of his thoughts. “Look, on your next day off, why not invite her to do something out and about? Go on a date. It doesn’t have to be fancy.”

  
“You could invite her to the bar when you’re working sometime.” One of his coworkers said as he passed behind him. How in the fuck?

  
Grillby sighed. He was beat. Linae was right and he had to face that fact. No matter how painful it might be. He continued to serve Linae right up until the last call. And by the time his closing tasks were done and they were ready to lock up she was in no condition to get herself home. One of her arms was draped around his shoulders, the other three dangling limply at her sides. Her head lolled back and forth. “Don wanna g’home.” She mumbled.

  
“Gotta go home, Lin. Tom will be worried.”

  
She shook her head dramatically. “Nu-uh. He thin’s I a lesbian.” Her finger pointed at Grillby, eyes narrowed. “But I not a lesbian. Super bi woman!”

  
Fucking hell. Grillby continued to mutter assurances to her as she made odd noises and professed herself as ‘super bi woman’ the newest neighborhood superhero. It was both hilarious and concerning. It took some prodding to find out where she lived. Turns out, her and Tom had recently moved into the same building as Ann. Speaking of… Grillby pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed her number as he attempted to keep Linae upright.

  
“Hello?” Came Ann’s timid voice.

  
“Can you help me get my drunk friend to her apartment?”

Ann was waiting for them at the door as Grillby hauled a nearly passed out Linae to the building. Her energy was sapped from the earlier joyful screaming and now she had been left a weepy depressed mess. Grillby gave the area a good once over as he neared the door. It became a habit since that night two weeks before when Ann’s mother ambushed her. So far, she had not returned. He wondered if she had been arrested that night and they were safe for a while. Ann shot Linae a sympathetic glance as they walked through the door to the lobby.

  
Even the security guard winced.

  
“Do you know what floor she lives on?” Ann asked.

  
Grillby jostled her. “Lin, hey. What floor?”

  
“No! I don wanna!”

  
A frustrated growl snaked from his throat and he gently passed her to Ann. “Hold her.” He snapped, riffling through her bag for her ID.

  
Her top set of arms hung over Ann’s shoulders and she peered at her through half lidded eyes. “Aww. You’re pretty. Grillby, you bitch.”

  
Son of a bitch… Grillby sighed and pulled her ID from her wallet to get the apartment number. “Four seventeen.” He put it all back and took Linae from her arms, quickly pulling her into a bridal carry. It would be ten times easier this way.

  
“Nooo. Grillby, pu me down.” She wailed weakly.

  
“No- GOD damn it Linae!” In her weak struggle, Linae had managed to knock Grillby’s glasses from his face.

  
Ann quickly scooped them up. “Are you okay?” She asked, voice tentative.

  
Grillby leaned down slightly so Ann could replace his glasses before they finally made it to the elevator. “I’m fine. She can’t hit very hard like this.”

  
“Kick yer ass, matchstick.” The ride to the fourth floor was filled with Linae’s slurred bitching and complaining about how she didn’t want to go home.  
In fact, the moment they stepped out onto her floor she began demanding shots. “The last thing you need right now is more alcohol.” Grillby grumbled.

  
“Why you such a grumpus? Cranky ol’ bastard.”

  
A snort off to his side had him shooting an unamused glare Ann’s direction. Her gaze remained strategically away from his as they neared the door. Ann knocked very politely given the hour and Tom answered almost instantly, face paling when he saw his mate nearly asleep in Grillby’s arms.

  
“Linae, oh my God.” He sounded relieved and held out his arms for her. Grillby was more than happy to deposit the drunk pile of limbs in them. Tom gently pushed some of her long black hair from her face. “Thank you, Grillby. I’ve been calling her for hours.”

  
“Yeah, not happy with you.” Grillby shot back, arms crossing.

  
Tom shrank under his stare. “Yeah… I know…” He motioned them inside so he could put his mate to bed. Grillby and Ann could hear her low complaints and emotional begging. They were consistently followed by his whispered affirmations and tiny pecks to her forehead. Once Linae was in bed, Tom rejoined them in the living room. “She told you everything?”

  
“What she told me doesn’t matter right now. It’s how you reacted.” Tom winced. “How was she? Talking about Miera?”

  
A stretch of silence. “She was… a mess. I almost couldn’t understand her, she was crying so hard.”

  
“Did you comfort her?”

  
His head shot up. “Of course I did! I’m not heartless, Grillby, I love Linae more than I’ve ever loved anyone. But you have to understand, when you grow up being told that homosexuality is the root of all evil and the biggest sin and that those living in such sin deserve to die… It can’t just be turned off. I’m trying, but I don’t… I don’t know what else to do except see this therapist she wants to go to.”

  
“Have you talked to a pastor or priest?” Both men instantly turned to Ann, whom they had forgotten was in the room with them. She shrank from the attention and nervously knotted her fingers together.

  
Tom blinked rapidly. “How- how would that help?”

  
“Well… since the problem stems from a religious point, a religious leader might be able to talk you through your discomfort in a language you better understand. I don’t- uh- you know- know the situation exactly? I just kinda came to help Grillby. But I gather Linae is Bi?” Tom nodded. “It’s okay to be confused and uncomfortable, especially with the kind of upbringing you mentioned. But it’s important to communicate with, not only your partner but also those who might be able to put you at ease. A lot of churches are becoming very accepting of those in the LGBT community around the city. They started following the teaching of James 4:12.”

  
Tom smiled a sad sort of smile, his gaze dropping to the ground. “There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?”

  
Ann nodded. “So… try talking to a pastor. It might help.”

  
Grillby was absolutely stunned. For one, it was the first time he saw her speaking so confidently about something other than a book. Second… he would never have thought of that. But she was right. A leader from a church might be just who he needs to talk to in order to ease the discomfort Linae’s confession had spurred. Grillby saw Ann a little differently in that moment. She shone… a little brighter. Even how she tucked her shoulders in couldn’t dissipate the glow he saw around her.

  
With that bit of advice, and a light threatening from Grillby, the two left the apartment and headed in the direction of the elevator. Grillby kept glancing down at his odd little friend, still amazed by her. She eventually caught him as she pushed the call button. “Oh- I shouldn’t have butted in. I totally overstepped, I don’t even know the guy and I told him to see a pastor, oh my god I’m sorry, I don’t know what possessed me in there. I swear-”

  
Grillby snorted and leaned his head against the wall a moment, shoulders shaking. Ann stopped her tirade to watch him, confused. Finally, he lifted his head and smiled down at her. “You are a whole different kind of special.” The elevator dinged and opened. “Come on, ‘Chatterbox’.” He smiled down at her as she still stood confused, but now sporting a healthy red blush. She smiled in return and hopped in the elevator beside him, bright hope and joy blooming across their bond.


	8. Chapter 8

***Bookstore Ann***

  
**(X-XXX-XXX-XXXX)**

  
**Grillby: I was thinking I could make us dinner one night.**

  
**BA: You cook? :O**

  
**BA: That would be amazing!**

  
**Grillby: Mind if I cook at your place? You don’t want to be in my studio hellhole.**

  
**BA: That’s fine. Tuesday?**

  
**Grillby: Tuesday.**

  
Frustration. Hard, deep, disgusting frustration leaked across the soul bond like sludge in never ending waves. Grillby was just entering Ann’s building when another wave washed over him. It made him shiver slightly as he headed for the elevator. Apparently, the key system was malfunctioning. So he was able to ride up without Ann’s assistance. A canvas bag full of ingredients weighed down one arm.

  
He had spent the majority of the morning deciding what to make and picking up what he needed. In a stroke of extreme luck, he had also found one of few remaining bottles of his wine from the underground still sitting in a box. It was a red he figured would pair well. Grillby had full confidence in his dish choice and was ready to wow his friend. Linae had been right at the bar. Grillby agreed to be friends and he was just being… a ‘cranky old bastard’. Putting in a little effort couldn’t hurt.

  
The happy looks and congratulations from coworkers and others had finally died now that he and Ann had known each other for going on a month and a half. To be honest, he was coming to the conclusion that a lot of his earlier disdain and frustration had been from the constant attention to the fact he now had a soulmate. Now that everyone had begun to shut up about it, it was also easier to do the other thing Linae said. Pretend she’s not his soulmate.

  
Did that necessarily change everything he thought about the woman. No. Grillby is an honest monster. He still found her timidity annoying and her appearance subpar. He also still gagged at the thought of being intimate with her. But it did help him to feel more comfortable in their friendship. And he felt like he had been a pretty decent friend recently. But… like Linae said. He’s a cranky bastard.

  
Ann opened the door quickly after he knocked and let him inside. “Woman, you are driving me up the wall. What is so damn frustrating?” He growled as he moved past her to the kitchen.

  
“Huh? Wha- oh. Oh! I totally forgot about the strong emotions thing… I’m sorry, Grillby.”

  
He quickly set about getting the ingredients ready and pulled out two wine glasses. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

  
Ann fidgetted nervously, something she hadn’t been doing much anymore when it was just the two of them. It was a big tip off to her inner turmoil. “It’s not… Important really. Just some… writer's block is all.” She leaned against the adjacent counter top and took the wine he offered. “The third book isn’t progressing as smoothly as the second one.”

  
Yeah, no shit. She had left the second book on a cliff hanger once again and he was burning, again no pun intended, to know what happened. But, out of respect, he had kept his questions about her writing to himself. Grillby sighed as he reached for a knife to cut the peppers. “Okay. What do you normally do for writer's block?” She avoided his gaze and scratched the back of her head. Oh what fresh hell- “Ann, you can not seriously expect me to believe you have never had writer’s block before.”

  
“It’s always been so natural for me! I see the scene in my head and then I write it down! But now the scene is constantly changing and fuzzing over into something else that makes no sense and for some reason I keep picturing Lial with pink hair, like why? Why pink? I could understand if it was purple because of you, but that’s just weird. And then the whole time I’m just fixated on this smell that literally just seemed to stain my apartment overnight. Like, I smelled it last night after you left and I had the weirdest chest ache, like take my breath away ache, but now it’s everywhere and messing with my head and-”

  
“Ann, stop.” Grillby’s soul was vibrating from her words. Smell… chest ache… “What does it smell like.” His voice was oddly serious and she gulped, thinking something was wrong.

  
“I-it’s- um- like… old bonfire smoke and cabernet.”

  
Grillby sighed and set down the knife to fully face her. “Your soulmate bond settled.” It was obvious Ann didn’t understand. And Grillby blamed himself a little. She had asked a few times about the differences between human and monster soulmates and he usually spouted off some small insignificant fact and then moved on with whatever they had been talking about before. Grillby, of course, didn’t like being reminded of the soulmate bond. So any way to end the conversation quickly was fine with him.

  
Now it was biting him in the butt. Grillby ran a hand through his flaming hair and rubbed the back of his neck. “When humans have a monster soulmate their bond changes to better match that of their mates. It takes a while for that to happen though. That smell? Me. It’s the natural smell of my magic. Everyone, human and monster, has their own unique scent. Didn’t realize I was over here enough for it to stick around.”

  
Ann nodded slowly along as she took in the information. “Does… anything change?”

  
“Let’s say something happens and I get angry. I don’t mean just mildly irritated, I mean blind rage about to punch someone angry. You would know because you could feel it too.”

  
Her eyes lit up behind her glasses. “Oh! Wow, really? That’s- I mean, not in the sense of anger or something- but that’s kind of amazing! Like how earlier you knew I was frustrated?” He nodded and turned to focus on the food once again. “So… you said everyone has their own scent. You can smell me? What do I smell like?”

  
“New book and cinnamon.” He made quick work of the ingredients, moving easily around the kitchen as Ann asked questions and passed him bowls and utensils when needed. The delicious smell of beef curry and veggie fried rice permeated the apartment. Grillby had always enjoyed cooking, as evident by his high end restaurant and bar underground. There was just something about finding a new dish pairing that filled his soul. And when he would get the bread just right oh it was like heaven.

  
Ann took the full plate he offered and took a deep breath as she headed for the table. He followed behind and messed with a sliver of onion as he observed her taking her first bite. The way her eyes widened and her cheeks turned pink made Grillby smile a genuine smile that reached right into his soul. “This is amazing!”

  
Oh. Something in his soul really reacted to that. That pure joy in her voice and the praise of her words set something inside alight. Grillby felt his flames glow a little brighter in joy and slight embarrassment. “I haven’t been able to cook much since coming to the surface. My apartment isn’t equipped for much other than sleeping and storage.”

  
“I can’t remember the last time I had a home cooked meal.” She eagerly took another bite.

  
Grillby raised a spoonful of rice. “You don’t cook?” He asked before taking the bite.

  
“No. I grew up in foster care and the families I stayed with didn’t really try to teach us anything.” Her eyes rolled up to the ceiling in thought as she swallowed her next bite. “Actually… a lot of them didn’t really do ‘family meal time’ either. Someone would make something simple and we would grab a plate and eat in our rooms or on the couch. This is leagues beyond anything I’ve ever had. How did you learn to cook like this?”

  
Huh. He hadn’t known she grew up in the foster care system. Well, he could understand if her mother was anything like the other week when she was younger. But what about her father? Grillby pushed that thought aside and focused on the meal and conversation. “I think I mentioned I had a place underground before. I made my own wine and was known for fine dining. Just working everyday I learned something new, experimented, made little changes. Self taught.”

  
She watched him with an expression of awe. “Wow. That’s just… so amazing. I can’t imagine the kind of work and frustration that took.”

  
Grillby raised a brow. “You’re an author.”

  
“That’s- I mean- not saying it’s entirely different. But writing is something you can learn the basics about… but if you don’t have the imagination and the patience naturally…”

  
“Cooking is pretty much the same, Ann.” Her eyes met his with full concentration. “You can teach someone how to boil water and fry an egg, but that doesn’t make him a chef. That person can memorize recipes and measure ingredients to absolute perfection. That doesn’t mean the food is going to be any good. Just like with writing, you have to have a level of imagination and the patience to let things cook properly and take criticism. Just like with anything you have to be able to grow and expand and get better every day. Because the day you say you don’t need to improve is the day you’re done as a chef, as an author, as anything.”

  
Ann soaked up the words with an indecipherable expression. Nodding, she smiled. “You… you’re right. Wow-I- Ugh, I can’t believe I let myself fall into such a hole.” That smile grew, but it didn’t touch her eyes and crinkle the edges like he liked. “I’ve been writing in circles. But I think… I know what I need to do to get out of this writer's block.”

  
Thank God. Grillby wanted to read the next book already. He nodded. “Good. I’m glad I could help.”

  
She nodded again and put her fork down before taking a deep breath. “So, odd question. Or maybe not odd, I’m not really sure, social skills have always been a weakness for me so if it is odd just tell me because I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or make myself seem like more of freaky weirdo shut in than I already am and-”

  
“Ann.”

  
“Right.” She took another breath. “Do you, uh… think that Linae and Renee would… want to spend a day with me? Like… you know, as friends?”

  
Huh. The wonders never cease. “What brought this on?”

  
“It’s just a thought I had. I, uh, don’t really have… you know, friends. You and my editor are really the only people I talk to. Maybe… what I need is to get out a bit. Make… make a friend.” She knotted her finger together. “I’m tired of being afraid…”

  
Well that was an odd comment. Grillby narrowed his eyes slightly, paying close attention to her body language and reactions. “Afraid of what, Ann?”

  
_(The darkness in her mind had been steadily growing, dimming her already bleak and grey world. She was terrified. It was the same fear she had always faced. Would Grillby understand? Would he be able to help her?_

  
_“No one can help you, Ann. You can’t even help you.”_

  
_‘I tried. I really did. All those times-’_

  
_“You were used. You were lied to. They couldn’t help you because they never cared enough to. You’re going to be like this forever. It’s time to accept that.”_

  
_Quiet black crept along the edges of her mind and she began to feel exhaustion settle in. Hope. Dim, but still there. Grillby. Grillby gave her hope. Grillby made her feel safe. She could trust him… right?)_

  
A certain look crossed her eyes. It was something he couldn’t identify, something he didn’t have a name for. It brought a bit of clarity and confidence into her. “How honest can I be with you?”

  
Grillby didn’t even pause to think. “Completely.”

  
It still took a moment. That confidence waned slightly as a battle raged in her mind.

  
_(“What if he thinks you're a freak? What if this is the last straw? Just like with your 'friends'? The moment he hears how you really are, he'll sneer and take off."_

  
_Anxiety built up like a wave during a storm, crashing against her already battered heart. She wanted to tell someone. If she couldn't talk to her soulmate about the darkness in her soul… who could she?)_

  
“I’m afraid… of not being wanted.” Not being…? Oh. “You know. It’s… a legit fear to have. My dad, he… well… kind of skipped out when I was really little. I was an accident between two high school kids who just wanted to have some fun before life slapped them in the face. My mom started using and he went to work one day and never came back. Mom pretty regularly would remind me that I was a mistake, that her life would have been better without me. She only wanted me when I… became useful.

  
My foster families didn’t want me, I was just another kid the government was paying them to take care of. And, you know, like I said, social skills have always evaded me. I was always that weird kid writing in her journal during class and trying to hide. Never really had friends. There was just… no one that ever wanted me. So I always try to take up as little room as possible, make sure I’m not bothering anyone. But I’ve always… hoped that just one person would want me someday. Just one person who cares… if I’m still around the next day or not.”

  
Grillby was floored. It explained so much about Ann and her odd quirks and habits, but, amazingly, it just made him sad. And a little pissed. But Grillby knew and accepted that that was because he cared about Ann as his friend now. He hated that that was how she grew up, feeling so unwanted and that feeling continuing well into her adult life. Truly though, he had seen a kind of change in Ann since they started spending so much time together. She was constantly surprising him as she became more comfortable with him.  
How would she grow with two friends like Renee and Linae? That was something he really wanted to see. Grillby reached out across the table and covered her hands, halting their constant fidgeting. “Ann, if you asked to spend ten minutes with Renee you would make her entire life.”

  
Ann’s cheeks flushed red. “Yeah, did not try to hide her enthusiasm, that one.”

  
Grillby shrugged. “If you do hang out, be careful, she’s a lot of evil in a tiny body.” She snorted and finally there was that smile he liked so much. They lapsed into some easy banter as they finished off the meal. Honestly… it felt kind of nice to have Ann open up about her life a little bit like that. He didn’t know much about her other than her publications and the fact she prefers sweet wine. Hell, he only learned the other day that she was twenty six.

  
Somehow… he just couldn’t hate that they were growing closer.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ann has a girls day! Aw yiss!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who expressed an interest and concern for Linae and Tom, I present the beginning of the chapter.

Linae Starr could say with honesty that not much surprised her anymore. She had seen her fair share of oddities growing up underground and experienced a little bit of everything in her two hundred and nineteen years. Seeing the barrier break and experiencing the surface had been the last thing she ever expected. Life had turned with that pleasant surprise. She, however, was not surprised by the lack of acceptance in the humans. It had taken some time for Queen Toriel to convince the humans that monsters deserved the same rights as humans lived with.

  
Law makers finally agreed but placed interesting conditions along the way. On paper, monsters have every right that humans have. To marry, have a job, buy a house, a car, all of it. But the ridiculous amount of hate crimes against monsters and discrimination definitely made it clear those rights did nothing in labeling them as people. A friendly human had once told her with a depressing smile that before monsters arrived the same thing was said about humans with dark skin. Those labeled ‘black’, ‘Latino’, ‘Native’, so on were consistently treated as lesser humans.

  
Apparently, their status in society had shot through the roof with monster kinds' arrival.

  
But not a single bit of that information had really surprised Linae. Not even learning that her soulmate was a human man was surprising. What was surprising, what had stopped Linae’s brain function for a moment as she processed the words, was a single text from her best friend and ex-lover.

  
***Grill-bae***

  
**(X-XXX-XXX-XXXX)**

  
**G: Hey. I gave Ann your number. I need you to spend a day with her and Renee.**

  
**Linae: Uh… Can I ask why?**

  
**G: Just do it.**

  
As Linae continued to stare at her phone in complete wonder, Tom entered with two mugs of fresh coffee. He sat one in front of her before settling on the couch. “What has you on the verge of implosion?” He asked.

  
“This- uh- Grillby? Can I just say Grillby and it make sense?”

  
Tom nearly spit out his drink as his shoulder shook. “Normally yes. But there has to be more context than that.”

  
“Okay, Grillby wants me and Costa to spend a day with his soulmate. But he won’t say why.”

  
“Must be embarrassing then.” Tom smiled into his coffee as Linae snorted.

  
“I mean~, You’re probably not wrong.” The situation between Linae and Tom had… improved substantially. Some days were better than others, sure, but now they could sit and laugh together like they had in the beginning. Tom didn’t flinch when she got close to him and had a more confident outlook when discussing the future. Recently, they had managed to start kissing again. Linae knew she needed to be patient with him.

  
Tom went to speak to the pastor of a nearby church every other day for an hour and came back contemplative and often open to discussion. The therapist they had begun to see mentioned in both of their sessions that she could see a bright future for them. They were putting in the work that needed to happen if they wanted to continue their life together. God, Linae wanted that more than anything in the world.

  
Linae shrugged and lifted the mug he had set out for her. “I mean, she seems nice from what I can remember. And I guess I owe her and Grillby for last week” She uttered the last part on a sigh. For as long as Linae had been alive, she could never remember a time she got more drunk so quickly. Tom nodded and draped his arm across the back of the couch behind her head.

  
“I need to thank Anerin next time I see her.”

  
“Why?” She raised a brow, snuggling into his side.

  
Tom brought his arm around her and gently kissed the top of her head. “She’s the one who suggested I talk to Brother Jeff.”

  
Really? Honestly, Linae thought that had been a choice he made based on his upbringing. Giving worries to God and all that. But if that was true then she really needed to spend the day with her and say thank you. Plus, she did kind of want to see what kind of person her best friend's soulmate was outside the veil of alcohol. Mind made up, Linae quickly texted Grillby back to ask for her number so she could contact her herself.

  
Checking the date, Linae realised it was Renee’s day off from the bar and school. It would be the perfect day for the three of them to get together, assuming Ann wasn’t already busy. She quickly sent a message to Renee and headed into the bedroom to begin the arduous task of preparing for the day. Few outside of her family had ever seen Linae without make-up. The only reason Tom had was because of their cohabitation. One thing she hears so often is ‘oh Linae Starr is so pretty’. In truth she was about as average as they came.

  
Living as a pacifist in a kill-or-be-killed world means finding a way to survive. Linae had found most monsters were more agreeable to let her live if she was made up nice and put out. Sure, sleeping with monsters who often bragged about their high LV was never fun and often nauseating, but it beat having to live with the weight of someone’s dust on her hands. Her phone buzzed just as she was finishing her make-up.

  
***Costa-la-vista***

  
**(X-XXX-XXX-XXXX)**

  
**C: A whole day with THE Anerin Foster?! Fuck yes! I’ll head over now!**

  
**Linae: Jesus, Costa, I haven’t even asked her yet.**

  
**C: Well hurry up damn it!**

  
Linae snorted as she pulled up the brand new contact number in her phone. But before she could type anything in… Ann lives just one floor down. Why not go in person to invite her? Have a little one on one time and thank her before her time was monopolized by Renee. Mind made up, Linae finished dressing and grabbed her keys. “Tom! I’m heading out!”

  
“Whoa, hold up. Not without a hug you aren’t.” He pulled her in with a playful growl, eliciting a squeal from the lavender skinned monster. Giggling, Linae wrapped one set of arms around his neck and the other around his waist. Oh she had missed his scent when they had been fighting. Like cherries and rain. Sure, it was a faint smell all around the apartment. But there was nothing like taking a deep breath against his neck and knowing he was hers.

  
Linae gently brushed her lips against his cheek before pulling him into a searing kiss. Neither necessarily wanted to pull away. Foreheads pressed together, Linae sighed. “I love you.”

  
“I love you, too.” He gave her one last kiss before pulling away. “Have fun. And don’t drink too much, please.”

  
Well, Linae was never going to live that one down. The key system was still broken in the elevator which irked her to no end. They paid a decent amount in rent for those extra security measures and the building owners were dragging their feet on getting it fixed. Well, not much she could do about it personally. She knocked on Ann’s door and waited, amused by the expression of surprise on the woman’s face when she finally answered.

  
“L-linae?”

  
“Hiya!” She flashed the woman a crowd winning smile. “I wanted to say thank you for last week, first of all. I’m not sure if it’s dumb luck that we live in the same building or divine interference.”

  
Ann blinked rapidly and stood up a little straighter. “Oh! Of course! I mean… You’re a friend of Grillby’s and if I can help I always want to, mostly because I feel like you’re a nice person even though I’ve only ever really talked to you when you were super drunk, but even that was kind of nice, especially when you said I was pretty, because normally people don’t say that about me and…. Um… huh…” Her face turned red and she rubbed the back of her head. “Sorry. Uh- normally someone would have stopped me by now?”

  
Linae snorted. “Oh my God, you are so adorable.” That blush grew brighter. “Anyway, Renee and I were thinking about going shopping today if you want to join us.”

  
Her eyes doubled in size behind those admittedly cute navy blue framed glasses. “Uh- You want- I mean, you do because you asked- but- uh- are you… sure?”

  
“Why wouldn’t I be?” She asked in true confusion. But Ann simply rubbed her arm and stared at the ground. “Ann, you are my best friend's soulmate. I want to get to know you more than I’ve ever wanted to actually know someone. Mostly because I want to see how the universe chose to fuck with him, but also because you seem like a smart, sweet person. And Renee is pretty eager to have you along as well.”

  
Ann had a moment where she honestly did not seem to know what to do. But, finally, she nodded and motioned her inside. “I… I would love to go shopping with you both. Um… I still- uh- need to get ready, so… Have Renee meet us here?”

  
Linae sent the text as she was led into the living room, letting Renee know the apartment number. There was something about Ann that interested Linae. But she couldn’t yet put her finger on it. She disappeared down the hall to change and Linae sat back against the couch to peer around the room. It was nice. A smaller unit than her own but well laid out. A book sat on the coffee table before her next to a coffee mug and two prescription pill bottles. Ha. The breakfast of champions.

  
Renee wasted no time in racing over. Ann hadn’t finished getting ready when the tell-tale frantic knocking began. Good Lord. Linae stared down at the small human with an unimpressed expression. “Okay, if you’re coming, you’re chilling the hell out.”

  
“But I’m so excited!” She practically bounced into the apartment. Ann was just walking down the hall when they both turned the corner to the living room. “Ann! It’s so good to see you again!” Linae thought Ann was going to implode when Renee wrapped her up in a big hug.

  
“Costa, what did I just say?” But Renee simply stuck out her tongue.

  
“Where should we go? I have some Easter money from my family so let’s treat ourselves! Ooh, mani-pedi’s?” Actually that did sound nice. Since the warm weather was continuing to grow sandals were becoming more necessary. Plus, if they went to the salon in the mall she could get a haircut as well.

  
Linae nodded. “I’m down. Ann?”

  
She nodded with a bashful grin and they headed out. Linae glanced over at Ann as they rode the elevator down. What was this feeling? It was a certain familiarity, but it had nothing to do with Ann herself. They had only interacted once before this after all. Ann had pulled her brown hair into a loose bun and wore loose and Earth tone clothes. There was nothing to pull attention to her. Even her posture screamed ‘don’t look at me’.

  
Renee would not shut up the entire time the three walked to the mall. Ann didn’t seem to mind but she needed to chill the fuck out. They each decided on a full spa day. Mani-pedi and hair cuts with a little bit of eye-brow waxing. Though both Linae and Renee were a little surprised to hear… “You’ve never gotten a wax before?” Linae asked.  
“Or a mani-pedi?” Renee echoed.

  
Ann knotted her fingers together. “I… never found it necessary?”

  
“Oh sweetheart, self care is always necessary. The mani-pedi isn’t just about looking good, it’s about feeling good.” Linae put a friendly arm over her shoulder as they were led back to their chairs. “You’ll find out soon enough what I mean. Your life will never be the same after this.”

  
To say that Ann provided the two women with the afternoon’s entertainment would be an understatement. The pedicure was the best. Ann was a giggling and twitching mess each time the specialist ran the pumice stone of her feet. She would squeak and move and make these sounds of awe and pleasure that had Linae and Renee, as well as their specialists, in stitches by the end. Of course, the most profound moment was during the leg massage. Ann moaned. And then proceeded to turn the most brilliant shade of red.

  
Linae had decided to go french for both her pedicure and manicure while Renee was sitting in style with lime green. Ann, in a surprising move, had picked a pearlescent maroon that turned gold in a certain light. The manicure was less profound but still entertaining nonetheless. The conversation flowed easily as their day of pampering continued. “So, Ann, you spend a lot of time with Grillby, right?” She nodded. “Seen him naked yet?" Renee smirked.

  
Ann choked on pure air while Linae gaped in horror. “ _Jesus_ , Costa!”

  
“What? Kill me for being curious about a man made of literal fire!”

  
“He’s not ‘made of fire’, Costa. He’s made of fire magic. He still has a solid body. I know you know this, you give him hugs at the bar all the time.”

  
Renee giggled darkly. “He hates it and I love it.”

  
Linae flashed her a look. “You freak me out sometimes.”

  
“Oh, miss let me get you a tissue!” The frantic voice beside them pulled their attention to a red faced Ann, now sporting a mild nosebleed.

  
She glanced up at them as she tried to keep from dripping and grew a slightly darker shade. “I imagined it…” She croaked.

  
It was a slow progression. It started with a snort, followed by those quiet chuckles that grew in volume until Renee was laughing so hard she had to pull her hands away from the specialist working on her nails to support herself. “I didn’t think people actually did that! I thought it was only in anime!” She wheezed. “You got a _nosebleed_ thinking about a naked Grillby! I love it!”

  
“For fucks sake, Costa.” Linae pinched the bridge of her nose. “Ann, are you okay?”

  
Ann opened her mouth to answer but snapped it shut when Renee wrapped her arms around her shoulders from behind. “Are you kidding!? Imagining that hunk of man bare and proud before her? That’s like seeing the face of God!”

  
Linae couldn’t help it. “Except a naked Grillby is a common sight on any day ending in Y.” She muttered. “Stop teasing the poor girl. You’ll give her an aneurysm.”

  
Renee let Ann go with a dark chuckle. “I’m telling Grillby you called him a ho.” She sang as she returned to her seat and slightly irritated specialist.

  
Linae shook her head and leveled Ann with a concerned look. “Seriously though. You good?”

  
Ann was just pressing the tissue to her nose when she asked. “Oh! Uh- I mean- it was just- the image, it kind of… My face hurts.”

  
Linae could believe that. Her face was so red it was almost purple. That feeling of familiarity flashed through her soul again. What was that? But then a different familiarity filled her as she watched the woman take deep breaths and gaze off slightly, a small smile on her lips. She had seen it on many faces over the years and was certain it had passed her own once or twice. “So. How long have you known?”

  
Ann didn’t even try to deny and question it. “A few days now…”

  
“What did it?”

She shrugged, eyes watching the practiced motions of the specialist. “He… I don’t know. He came over like always, we had some wine and instead of discussing a book… we just started talking. Not really about anything specific. Like… he mentioned his niece and told a few stories from his place in the underground. So I told him about other authors I had met that he liked. And I just… remember watching him as he swirled his wine and that brightness glowed in him as he talked about his old bar. I thought, ‘Wow, he’s really amazing.’.

  
I think that a lot about him though. Just how his flames dim when he’s upset and how they change and twist and flicker when he’s really into a book. Grillby made us dinner last night… I practically melted. It was so good. And now, apparently my-uh… my bond has settled. So there’s this smell. It distracts me, but I love it so much. Even when Grillby is being mean… I just…”

  
Fuck… Just… wow. Linae took in her words like fresh water, attempting to absorb them properly. “Have you thought about telling him?” She finally asked. Renee watched with rapt attention.

  
Ann shook her head furiously. “No! I mean… no. Grillby doesn’t… he doesn’t see me like that. I know that. I’m just… I’m just happy he wants to be friends.” She smiled serenely down at her completed manicure.

  
“Oh hell no.” Renee said incredulously. Both turned to her with polar opposite expressions. “Ann, I like you. I think you’re awesome and not just because you’re, like, my favorite author of all time. But Grillby I also my friend, and you two are legit perfect for each other!” Where was this going? Linae raised her brow but didn’t try to stop the tirade. “You both are complete book nerds and weird history buffs. Trying to get him to talk is a **fucking chore**.” She enunciated the last part of her sentence. “But you listen. You interpret, you understand. That is just the kind of person for Grillby, someone who can appreciate and understand when he does finally say something. That and you look exactly like Linae without make-up, and Grillby thinks Linae is hot, soooo….”

  
“What?” Ann asked in pure confusion.

  
“Yeah, what?” Linae mirrored. “And how the hell do you know what I look like without make-up?”

  
She rolled her eyes. “The very first time you got drunk at CASEY’S Grillby asked me to make sure you got home. You were sick in the bathroom and I had to clean your face with a washcloth.” Oh… That made sense. When the barrier had fallen, Linae had been one of many monsters to take advantage of the vast array of alcohol now available. The fact her best friend was the one mixing the drinks just made her drink more.

  
Linae glanced down at Ann beside her and took her in. Like, REALLY looked. Everything about her was just the definition of average. But that familiarity niggled in the back of her mind. She did look like her. Fuck, if Linae was human or vice versa, they could be sisters. “Holy shit, Costa’s right.”

  
“Wait, but… Lin is really pretty. Everyone says so.”

  
“I have years of experience with make-up, Ann. Actually…” An idea sparked in her head. It slithered and wormed its way into Renee’s head as well and both women felt grins spread across their faces. Ann just felt nervous. “Ann… we’re friends now, right? Do you trust me?”

  
A very audible gulp filled the space between them.

To say Grillby was bored would be an understatement. The bar was mostly empty and none of the others working were people he was particularly comfortable talking with. Not only that, but he had been casually rejecting the increasingly aggressive advances of a completely wasted thirty something for the past hour.

  
It had started out kind of fun and interesting. Grillby had honestly thought it was his chance to score since Renee wasn’t around to scare her off. When she had first walked in, her eyes had scanned him and down. And it was obvious she liked what she saw. They talked, she flirted, he flirted back. But the more she drank, the more repulsive she became. He wanted no part in her obvious plans for the evening anymore.

  
But why? She was exactly the type he used to go for. Hot, willing, obviously unhappy with her current relationship. It was in the words she said, how she pushed her bust forward and made it known just how obvious she was trying to be. It turned him off rather fast now. It wasn’t… what he wanted anymore.

  
Grillby sighed as he listened to the woman prattle on and on as he dried a glass a coworker had washed for him. Would she ever shut up? The front door opened and praise whatever deity there was. Renee and Linae walked in, all smiles and giggles as they walked shoulder to shoulder, someone walking behind them. They stopped a small distance from the bar. Grillby raised a brow and crossed his arms. “What are you two plotting?”

  
“Nothing.” They answered simultaneously. Yeah, that’s not suspicious at all. “But we do have a surprise for you.” Renee cheered.

  
“May we present, the one and only, the incomparable, Anerin Sydney Foster.” Linae and Renee stepped apart, exposing Ann behind them…. But it wasn’t the Ann Grillby knew. This woman was dressed in tight dark colored jeans, brown boots coming up to near her knee. A red blouse hung in all the right places with a smart V that exposed the perfect amount of cleavage. Shoulder length wavy brown hair was interspersed with gentle lowlights and framed her face perfectly.

  
Her face… Grillby had never once seen Ann wear make-up. But it was light, tones of brown and a reddish color on her eyes, a deep red across her lips. She was… Grillby felt his flames flare and grow just that little bit hotter. Ann flushed deeply and avoided his gaze. He was so used to seeing her with a frizzy head of hair and loose clothes that this vision before him was almost too much to handle.

  
“As you can see, we went shopping today.” Linae said with pride as she saw her friend's obvious fluster.

  
Ann ran her hands down a lock of her hair over and over again. Beautiful… Grillby jerked himself out of whatever trance he had been under at that. Did he just describe Ann Foster as ‘beautiful’? Good fucking God, he needed a drink. The girls decided to stay for drinks after Linae and Renee both subjected him to relentless subtle teasing. The entire time he found himself glancing back at Ann.

  
She was smiling and laughing and so oddly open. It was odd beyond belief. He kept looking over, expecting to see her knotting her fingers and pinching her shoulders in, overwhelmed by the activity and her own self doubt. In truth… Grillby didn’t know how to feel about it… They drank for the last two hours the bar was open. Renee was completely gone, leaning heavily on a perfectly fine Linae. She had obviously learned her lesson about pacing…

  
“I’ll get her home and take a cab back to the building. Can you make sure Ann get’s home?” Linae asked, a twinkle in her eyes.

  
Grillby nodded and turned in the other direction, guiding Ann with a hand to her back before dropping it. She had drunk a decent amount at Renee’s insistence. But Grillby knew her tolerance level was pretty high. Still, he kept an eye on her as she swayed lightly, still grinning as she stroked her freshly cut and colored hair. It didn’t matter how Grillby felt about this change. If he woke up tomorrow and decided he preferred her the old way, homely and uninspired, it wouldn’t matter. Because it was obvious Ann was happy with it. She had a level of confidence now. Her steps were bouncy and her smile was real.

  
Seeing her so happy… Grillby smiled as he watched her. “I think I know what to do for the book now.” Ann said, gaze distant behind her glasses.

  
That perked him up slightly. “Oh really?”

  
She nodded. “I was so… stuck. Watching other people is how I find inspiration, but I needed- I don’t know- the experience? The emotions? But I know what I need to say now.” She looked up at him, expression gentle and grateful. “Lin told me you texted her this morning. Thank you.”

  
“We’re friends Ann.” He said with a shrug. “I’m trying to follow some advice and put a little more effort into that.”

  
“Friends.” She said with a contemplative nod. It was quiet for a bit, the only sounds were their own steps on the pavement and the cars moving past them. Grillby always enjoyed their quiet moments. There was no expectation or awkwardness in them. Just them. Quiet and serene. They came to a stop at one of the cross walks close to Ann’s building. “Do you think… we could ever be more than friends?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love cliff-hangers. Hehehe.


	10. Chapter 10

Grillby felt his soul seize in shock and Ann made a squeaking noise as her hands flew up to cover her mouth. “Oh, gosh golly! Ignore me, please! I’m drunk! Oh why did I say that!” She continued to ramble and sputter in an attempt to make up for some faux pas she seemed to believe she had made. And back when they first had met, Grillby would have been irritated and offended by the notion.

  
But now he had gotten to know Ann. He was… happy with their friendship, actually. Someone needed to give him a psychiatric evaluation for that thought, but it was true. He enjoyed spending time with Ann and watching her reactions and hearing the ideas that swam around in that talented mind of hers. Would it really be such a bad idea? The thing giving Grillby pause at this moment was his relative attraction to her.

  
The confusion he felt as he gazed down at her freshly made-up face and flattering apparel was… well, confusing. Shouldn’t Grillby be happy to see Ann so… beautiful for once? But instead it just felt wrong. Did Grillby honestly prefer the old Ann? Over this vision that still fumbled over her earlier statement?

  
“-really truly sorry. I’m just-”

  
“- How about a date?”

  
Silence. Perfectly still and encapsulating silence. Ann stared up at him, her eyes wide and misty with a distinct blush spreading across her cheeks. They were stuck in that moment, just staring at each other as the question floated between them. Linae had brought it up not so long ago. Why not go on a date? It didn’t have to be fancy. It didn’t have to be an all day affair. It could easily be something as simple as walking through the park and grabbing lunch together.

  
**It didn’t need to mean anything.**

  
Ann regained her consciousness with a shake of the head. “Uh… I- did I-? Hear you correctly?”

  
“Let’s go on a date.” He repeated as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “Monday okay?”

  
“Y-y-y-” Ann swallowed hard. “Yes. Yes! Monday is great!”

  
Grillby gently guided her to cross the street so he could get her home. The rest of the walk was spent in silence as Ann seemed lost in a daze. It was oddly adorable the way her cheeks glowed and eyes sparkled. They would have a few days to discuss what they wanted to do on the date, but Grillby already had a decent idea. He said goodbye to Ann at the door to her building and began the short trek to his place.

  
It had suddenly hit him just what he had asked earlier, however. A date? Why in the ever loving fuck had he done that?! She would get ideas, expectations! Things he was not willing to reciprocate!

  
 _Not willing? Or not ready?_ A small voice asked him in the back of his mind. It sounded suspiciously like Linae.

  
Was he unwilling to reciprocate Ann’s feelings? Or was he simply not ready to admit he felt something for her? Even he had noticed how soft he had been with her in recent weeks. Grillby was more relaxed, talkative. He didn’t… feel that disdain and hatred of the world that had built in the years after the war, the years he spent trapped underground and watching monster kind dissolve into the distrusting and violent creatures they had. Grillby, like most of his kind, was slowly beginning to heal.

  
Ann had helped by simply being his friend.

  
Grillby pulled out a cigarette and used his magic to light it. He knew what they should do for their date. And maybe… by then he would have his own mind and soul figured out. Maybe he would be able to say with confidence what he wanted from this relationship he was building with Anerin.

The days passed far too slow for Grillby’s liking. Especially since Renee somehow managed to needle the date plans out of him. Insufferable? Meet Renee Costa. She demanded to go over every single little detail of his plan for their date. He didn’t tell Ann where they were going, wanting it to be a surprise. That earned him the most ear shattering squeal he had ever heard in his life. And he doesn’t technically have ears!

  
Of course, Renee told Linae who lost all form of composure and- shivers in a fire elemental are unnatural- hugged him. Not that Grillby has a problem with physical affection. But when his best friend is a sarcastically weepy and over joyed mess it feels weird. And speaking of things feeling weird…

  
Renee and Linae both stood in his tiny apartment, criticizing every piece of clothing he owned. Grillby was the king of thrift shopping and owned some incredibly nice stuff because of it. But nothing was good enough for these two! But it also begged the question of why he was allowing this shit in the first place. He was set to meet with Ann in thirty minutes and these two had him sitting shirtless on his bed while they debated between a dark red v-neck and a green, tight fit hoodie.

  
His brow twitched. “This is getting ridiculous.”

  
“Hush up. Important decisions are being made that could change your life forever.” Renee answered, not looking up from the articles of clothing.  
Dramatic ass little… “Why didn’t you guys do this with Ann instead. She probably would have appreciated it.” He grumbled.

  
“We did.” They answered simultaneously.

  
“That was yesterday. We spent three hours picking out an outfit for her and giving her hair and make-up instructions.” Linae clarified.

  
Renee gave a dreamy sigh. “God I love that shirt on her. Wonder if she’d let me borrow it?”

  
Grillby rolled his eyes. These two were making way too big of a deal out of this. Why had he asked Ann on the date in the first place. He knew this was going to happen. Someone was going to find out about it whether it be before or after and they were going to make it out to be fate bringing them together. Fate had nothing to do with this. Fate would never have anything to do with this.

  
He just wanted everyone to leave them to their peace.

  
Linae was the one to notice Grillby’s darkening mood. Her gaze grew soft, saddened by what she knew was her friend falling into that hole of ‘fate hate’ once again. It was something they had discussed at length many times. No matter how hard Linae tried to get him to think about the soulmate thing in a different way he stubbornly stayed in his mindset. But it was hurting his soul now. She could see it. His soul was desperate to reach out and connect with its mate. It wanted to sing for it.

  
She sighed and looked back down at the red shirt in her hands. The outfit Ann was planning on wearing needed a proper companion. Just like Ann did. A smile crept along her lips as an idea struck her. The red shirt was tossed away and Linae instead grabbed a stark white tight fit hoodie. “You know, I noticed something about the other day when we went shopping.” Grillby popped out of whatever weird mindset he had been in at her words. “She studies everything. But when she sees something she really likes there’s this distant gaze in her eyes. Every time she would stop and look at something like that I would turn around and grab, suggest she try it on. Everything we picked out that day was technically picked out by her. And she doesn’t even know it.”

  
Linae leveled him with that smart grin and held out the hoodie. “She looks at you like that. Studying, but distant, imaginative. Like she’s watching something play in her head.” Grillby knew the look she was talking about. He had seen it on her the day they met. The moment she replaced her glasses and saw him for the first time her gaze had glazed over and she unconsciously uttered the single greatest thing he had ever heard a stranger say to him. ‘Oh. Oh wow, you’re amazing.’

  
He had seen that look when they went through online reviews and certain ads would pop up. He had seen that look when they walked through the park from the liquor store or a fast food place and a family would walk past. Grillby took the hoodie and shrugged it on. It wasn’t often he wore white. Renee and Linae high-fived and proceeded to push Grillby from his own apartment. “Okay, get going already!” Renee cheered.

  
“We expect details tomorrow.”

  
Renee’s eyes hooded as that familiar evil grin spread across her face. “Tomorrow might be too soon, Lin.”

  
“Jesus, Costa.” She pinched the bridge of her nose and crossed the lower set of arms in exasperation. Grillby turned on his heel and decided that was the moment he had enough of the two. He was down the stairs and on the sidewalk before either of them even noticed he had gone. A sigh of relief fizzled from him as he headed in the direction of their meeting spot. Grillby and Ann had agreed to meet in the park near their favorite bookstore so the surprise could remain as that.

  
Like the cold, Grillby couldn’t feel the heat either. Though he pushed the sleeves of the hoodie up past his elbows anyway. His flames always felt better when exposed to open air. It was early June at this point and, honestly, it was great. And not just because everyone was showing a lot more skin from the heat. The heat and humidity reminded him of hotland, his home for over a thousand years. While he was happy he was no longer living there, there was still that feeling of pleased nostalgia.

  
Ann was already waiting for him when he made it to the park. It was still so strange for him to see her like this, but… something was different from the other day when he saw her. She stood with her hands knotting nervously, but shoulders back and face tilted upward. The top she wore was a short sleeved and bright blue and black plaid button up. It was long and framed her nicely. Around her waist a thick black silk belt that… huh… Grillby never realized how oddly thin Ann was. Black leggings covered her legs and disappeared into equally black ankle boots.

  
She turned to him and the smile that crossed her face made Grillby’s soul stutter. Her make-up was different than the other day. It was lighter… it was more Ann. But he did like the dark red across her lips. It was… tempting. He shook his head in an attempt to right his thoughts. “Ready?” He asked coming to a stop before her.

  
“Come one, where are we going?!” She begged.

  
“You’ll see in a minute.” He placed a hand on her back to guide her forward and lead the way to the nearest bus stop. Their city isn’t exactly large, and living mostly in the center means they have almost everything with-in walking distance. But this location was just far enough that he thought it would be best to resort to public transportation. As they paid the fare and took their seats, Grillby noticed the multitude of furious glares shot his way as well as how many humans shifted uncomfortably.

  
He was able to ignore it being as used to it as he was. However… Ann glanced around at all the faces and began to wilt. Sadness. He could feel it settle like a weight in his chest. Grillby gently settled his arm around Ann’s shoulder and pulled her closer to whisper against her hair. “It’s okay.” A woman jumped and cried out the moment Grillby touched Ann, obviously afraid he was about to hurt her.

  
Ann pinch herself in more, eye down cast. The feeling of sadness grew stronger. “It’s not fair to you.” She mumbled in response.

  
While he appreciated the sentiment, Grillby simply shrugged. “Even monsters do it, Ann. Fearing fire is natural.” It kept most people from bothering him too. But Ann didn’t seem entirely comforted by his words. It was more like she was contemplative, something running around in her mind. That sadness remained until it was their turn to step from the bus.

  
He knew that would change the moment they stepped off and she saw where they were. Ann’s brown eyes shot wide and sparkled as they landed on the exterior of the world history museum. Suddenly she couldn’t keep still as excitement washed through her soul. Grillby smiled down at her and guided her up the short walkway to the museum. One of the things they had in common was a love of history. And Grillby had been surprised to see the museum advertising an exhibit from the great monster war.

  
Once inside, Ann was quick to pull Grillby by his hand in the direction of that very exhibit. It was… sparse. But he had expected that. “This is amazing!” Ann’s voice was low, but tinged with her excitement. She was so enraptured by the small collection of artifacts and artist renditions of war scenes she didn’t notice the harsh stares of the other people around them. She was gazing down at a dirty and torn battle banner in a glass case. It was dark purple and bordered in gold, the deltarune emblazoned in the center. Grillby had carried one just like it once…

  
“Huh. Surprised this survived.” Grillby mused.

  
“I tried to base the mage rebellion series on the monster war, but there was so little information saved from that time.” Ann looked over to the information placard next to the display. ‘Monster Army Battle Banner’. “I studied other events around the same time for the setting and expanded on what little there was for the battle in ‘Flecks of Gold’.”

  
Grillby slowly took in the displays of the other artifacts. Across from the banner display was a very familiar suit of armor on display. He felt a shock of anxiety lance his soul and shook his head to clear it. Over a thousand years… and the sight of the human army’s armor still put him on edge. It did make him smile to see it in such awful condition. Ann read the placard next to it. Apparently, it was the prize of the collection. He scoffed. “If this is their prize, I can only imagine the orgasm the museum director would have seeing my old set.”

  
Ann’s head whipped around and her jaw dropped. “Your… old set?”

  
Oh… Right, he had never told her about his time in the war. To be fair, he didn’t exactly bring it up to just anyone. The only reason he had told Shiloh was because she had asked and was the only reason he was allowed back underground for his stuff in the first place. Knowing Ann’s love of history though, he figured she would enjoy some of the stories he had to tell. Why hadn’t he brought it up before?

  
Because he didn’t want to be close to Ann like that…

  
He… still felt confused about his real feelings towards Ann. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t dislike her. He wanted to be around her. He… found her so beautiful like this, excited and studious, gently made up. Grillby’s soul thumped hard at the knowledge that all of that excitement was directed at him. “You know monsters have longer life spans than humans. Some monsters alive today were around during the war. That includes me.”

  
“You- you were- !? I have- oh golly- all the questions! If that’s okay?! Cause, like war is a hard subject, I understand, but still I love this topic and you know it first hand and you said you still have your armor? Can I see it? Please, please, please?!”

  
Holy fuckin hell! He had never seen Ann so excited to the point she was begging! He felt himself soften in the wake of her joy. When she was carefree and excited like this was always his favorite. It was the only time she was really open and confident. His eyes scanned the room, seeing several people watching them with critical and somewhat hostile eyes. Assholes. Grillby put a hand to her shoulder and guided her to the next display. “I’ll show you whenever you like.”

  
Each display brought a new shine into Ann’s eyes. It was obvious ideas were swirling around in that beautiful mind, turning into new worlds and people to fill them. As they were heading into the next exhibit, Pompeii the eternal city, Grillby asked a question he had wondered for some time. “Ann. Why are you a fantasy writer?” She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, a move he knew was just for show since she couldn’t see him at that angle.

  
“What… do you mean?”

  
“Your first book was historical fiction. You obviously get a lot of inspiration from historical events. Why did you switch genres?”

  
For the first time since they had entered the museum Ann became a fidgety mess. She knotted her hands and studied a line of ancient tools on display. “Well... “ She sighed. “Honestly, if I had my way… I would still be writing those historical pieces. The uh… the publisher who accepted my first manuscript was a small and new company who really took a chance on me.” They moved through the exhibit, fascination filling Grillby at the way the people of Pompeii would build their yards up around vases of wine. “When ‘Of Vice and Virtue’ didn’t do as well as they had hoped, they asked if I would try a genre that was more popular at the time. So… I wrote ‘Endless’. And… it took off and my publisher always turned down anything historical I tried to give them from then on.”

  
“That… doesn’t seem fair.” Grillby mused.

  
She shrugged. “They were right. Readers like ‘Endless’ a lot more than my first book. It got a movie deal… My publisher rose up and made a great name in the literary world because of my work.”

  
Grillby snapped his head up, brow furrowing. “If your publisher is no longer struggling… why are they still insisting you write fantasy?” Silence. Ann continued to knot her fingers together. The quiet stretched as they took in the depiction of ancient Pompeii road and waterways. “Ever thought of gaining your copyright back? Self publishing?”  
To his absolute surprise, Ann nodded. “Yeah. I have. I started thinking about it the third time they rejected my REAL second book.”

  
“Your-” Oh. He never really thought about the fact that she could have written stories and drabbles that never made it to the public. A second historical work. Grillby smiled and put his arm around her shoulder, bringing her in close. “How about I tell you all the stories from the war you want in exchange for letting me read it?”

  
Ann’s eyes sparkled and rivaled the brilliance of her smile. “Yes, yes, yes!” They continued their journey through the museum with carefree joy. Every exhibit was just as inspiring and educational as the last. Grillby, however, found he was not a fan of the American history exhibit. It was literally all war and no culture. The mass of the exhibit had been focused on the civil war which just made Grillby sick. Monsters were cruel and ruthless creatures. But even they never enslaved their own people.

  
It had been hours and there still was one last exhibit to see. It was a section on Japan’s Edo period. Before they entered they stopped by the cafe near the museum's entrance for a light lunch. Ann left the table for just a few minutes. To wash her hands. Just a few minutes. Grillby was so happy with how the day had gone. It was obvious Ann was having fun and he was able to share in that.

  
Why did the universe have to ruin such a perfect day?

  
Grillby snapped up out of his seat when fear and panic raced through the bond. A murmur rose from around him, but not because of him. Everyone looked to the hallway that Ann had gone down. Grillby speed walked through the cafe, knowing, just knowing his soulmate was the center of the focus. Knowing she was scared and in danger. “-Here to ruin my life again?!” A man shouted.

  
“Let me go!” Ann!

  
Grillby sprinted through the throng of people that had gathered to witness the scene and felt his magic flaring hot as he found A tall and red faced man gripping Ann’s wrist. She was crying. Grillby lost it. He shot out his hand and a ball of fire the size of a quarter shot out and hit the man's hand, forcing him to let go. He stepped in front of Ann with a much larger fire floating above his palm, ready to go. “The fuck you think you are grabbing her like that?” He growled.

  
Ann’s arms instantly wrapped around his middle and he rested his free hand on her arm. The man glared at Grillby, a sneer lifting his lips. “A monster fucker? You’re just as disgusting as your mother! I knew you would only bring trouble!”

  
Grillby’s fire flared a little hotter, a little darker at Ann’s sobbing reply. “Just leave me alone, Dad!”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I felt bad about two weeks of cliff hangers. And I managed to finish writing chapter 15 at work today so, here. Tear this man apart lovely readers.

Her father. This piece of trash was her father. The man that left her as a child and allowed her to be raised by her drug addict mother and later the foster care system. Oh, if he wasn’t planning on crushing him like an ant before he sure as hell was now. The fire in his hand flicked and popped like it was eager to burn this asshole to the ground. But he had to hold himself back. Too many eyes on them. And Ann clung to him, shivering.

  
He didn’t want to risk her getting hurt from his flame.

  
The red faced man clenched and unclenched his fists. “What did you just call me?” He growled.

  
Ann gripped tighter to Grillby. “I-i sw-swear. I didn’t m-mean to bump into you. Please… leave me alone.” She begged.

  
“Didn’t mean-?! You expect me to believe that?! Do you honestly think I'm idiotic enough to believe that you just so happen to be here and just so happen to run right into me?!” The man raged. “You’re here to ruin my life yet again! You are nothing but a curse! A stain on the world! I should have taken care of you before you even took you first bre-!” He snapped back and fell against the wall, a large red mark on his jaw from Grillby’s fist.

  
“Keep talking asshole. You have an audience.”

  
“That’s assault!”

  
“That’s self defense. You attacked my friend here.”

  
“You mean your whore?” He let out a very satisfying sound as Grillby’s fist connected with his stomach.

  
It had been awhile since Grillby had last been in a decent fight. This was far from decent. If he had to guess, this noodle armed bitch couldn’t break a pencil without help. It was still satisfying to beat the little shit around a bit. He wheezed as he tried to regain his breath but Grillby had shifted his attention to a still shivering Ann. “He didn’t hurt you did he?” She held her wrist. “Let me see.” A red mark was already starting to purple on the skin there. He had gripped her hard enough to leave a bruise.

  
Grillby’s attention slowly shifted back to the man who had begun shouting absolute nonsense again. Before Grillby could allow the rage building inside loose two security officers broke through the crowd of people and inserted themselves between them. Both had to hold back the raving man as he launched himself at Ann and Grillby. “You ruined my life once! I won’t let it happen again! I brought you into this world and I will take you out!”

  
“Mitchell?” A new voice called out. The man’s face paled and everyone turned. A sturdy man stood on the outskirts of the crowd. A well trimmed red beard and head of hair brought color to his otherwise pale skin. “What the hell is going on?”

  
“You know this man?” One of the security officers asked.

  
“He’s my soulmate, my husband.” He responded, becoming frantic with worry.

  
Grillby moved Ann back behind him as he faced the new man. “Your man attacked and threatened my friend.” He growled.

  
The man’s eyes grew wide as he turned to Ann’s father. “Mitchell?”

  
“No! You don’t understand! She wants to destroy my life! Our life!”

  
"I never thought I'd see you again, I was just surprised. I'm sorry, please just leave me alone." Ann sobbed, face pressing into Grillby’s back.

  
"I don't understand. Who is she?" The larger man asked.

  
Grillby snorted. "Wow. Your own soulmate doesn't know you're a deadbeat dad? I'm shocked." He might not be able to physically hit him at the moment, but he could still throw punches.

  
Many people gasped in shock. The small audience they had was very interested in the story they were weaving here. He saw many people with their phones out, taking video. The other man blanched so quickly and fiercely that many people shot worried glances around and began to murmur about possibly needing a doctor. “Dad?” He squeaked softly, in shock. Tears gathered in his eyes.

  
Mitchell shook his head in a panic as he realized just how far out of favor he was falling. The security guards were still holding him back otherwise Grillby was certain he would have thrown himself at his husband to beg and ‘explain’. “Jack, listen-!”

  
“Is it true?” He asked softly. No answer. His hands tightened into fists and large tears slid down his face. “Mitchell Ray-Foster, is it true?!” The yell echoed off the walls and everyone held their breath. Mitchell nodded. “You had a child all this time… for five years we tried to adopt! And you had a child all along!”

  
“She ruined me! I could have been so much had she not come along! You want that in our lives?!”

  
“Stop blaming Ann for your shitty life choices.” Grillby growled, annoyed. There was only so many times he could hear the guy say the same thing over and over again before snapping. Suddenly, Grillby was reminded of the woman he had been with the day he met Ann. She had said similar things. That he had ruined her life and relationship by sleeping with her. But it was a choice she herself had made. “You made the choice to sleep with Ann’s mom. You made the choice to leave her as a kid and you made the choice to lie to your man about her. None of this is Ann’s fault. Take responsibility for your own actions.”

  
Several people cheered and yelled their agreement. Jack pointed at Grillby, eyes never breaking their stare with his husband. “What he said. What else have you been hiding from me, Mitchell? Got another secret family I need to know about? You gonna scream and bully another young woman for daring to exist?” He shook his head, eyes and face still wet. “Don’t be surprised when I hand you divorce papers.”

  
“Jack!” He yelled, desperation rising. “Jack, wait!” But he didn’t. The large man with the red beard turned and walked away, right through the main door of the museum. The growing group of onlookers murmured around as the security officers escorted him away. Grillby rubbed at his chest as pain and anxiety left it’s annoying ache. It wasn’t his. He gently led Ann off to a secluded area and sat her down on a bench.

  
_(Darkness, growing, grabbing, drowning, suffocating. It filled her nose and mouth, choking as it reached down her throat. She couldn’t breath. Lungs burning, tears falling. They could fill a lake. The world was too much, too bright, too fast. ‘I didn’t know. I didn’t know it was him. I didn’t mean to bump into him. I didn’t mean to ruin his life.’_

  
_“He wanted you dead. That man who brought you into the world wanted to end you himself.”_

  
_‘I didn’t mean it. I was just a baby, I was just a kid. He left when I was four. He was right there, he had been planning to have another family.’_

  
_“He never wanted you. You hoped for years he would come back and take you away. You hoped for years that he would want you.”_

  
_‘I just wanted my dad. I just wanted to be safe. I just wanted to be happy.’_

  
_Words beat at her ears, both too far to understand and too loud for her to handle. Air. She couldn’t breath. The darkness choked her further. Her chest fluttered, spasmed, clenched. Air!)_

  
Ann began to hyperventilate. With all of Grillby’s years and experience he didn’t know what to do. No one had ever had this level of a panic attack in front of him! This wasn’t like the time she burst into tears on the sidewalk. Grillby was worried. More worried than he had been about another person in a long time. Gently, he placed his hands on his upper arms and smoothed them down. Okay, what were those breathing exercises Linae had shown him?

  
Grillby counted in a breath, being loud on purpose and ran his hands up her arms in time and then let out the breath, running them back down again. Counts of four. Four seconds in through the mouth, four seconds out through the nose.

  
_(Tingles flooded her face, her hands numb and frozen stiff in a claw like curl. Motion. Up and down. Breaths, in , out, even? Unconsciously her breaths began to match the others and the motion on her arms. Soft. Warm. Familiar. Cabernet and an old camp fire… Grillby. The world began to clear. He was there. He was guiding her. He was… A spark lit up in her soul. Hope._

  
_It was doused, crushed. “When will you learn hope only brings pain?” But there was a light. A fire. It refused to die.)_

  
Her face was pale but at least she was breathing regularly. Grillby continued to do the exercise with her well past that, wanting to be sure. It wasn’t until Ann opened her eyes and gazed at him with exhaustion lined eyes that he stopped and brought their foreheads together.

  
A small and shaking hand cupped his cheek. “Grillby?” Ann’s voice was thin and rough. It left an unpleasant pang in his soul.

  
“I’m here.” He answered.

  
“I want to go home.” Ann sobbed. Fat tears built in her eyes once more and rolled down her face. Light smudges of her make-up ringed her eyes and left lines as she wiped her tears.

  
Grillby silently pulled her to her feet and escorted her out of the building with an arm around her shoulders. It had been a great day. The exhibits were amazing. The conversation and atmosphere was even better. In just a few minutes that piss ant cum ball had turned his smiling and happy Ann into a petrified shell. If he ever saw him again Grillby would make well on the threat he had once said to Ann’s mother.

  
Even on the bus Grillby never removed his arm. She curled her shoulders in like normal, wanting to be small, but curled into his side as well. The weight of her head on his shoulder was a light comfort and soothed away the lingering anger and adrenaline. Ann had fallen asleep by the time they made it to their stop, however. It was odd. For so long underground he never would have hesitated to wake someone, kick them out of his bar or just because. Now it felt like such a sin to rouse Ann so they could exit the bus.

  
She stumbled slightly but Grillby kept his hands on her shoulders. The sun was setting at this point but there was enough natural light to see by. And Ann’s place wasn’t far. Carefully, Grillby hoisted the exhausted Ann onto his back, settling her arms over his shoulders and legs on his hips. She was… worryingly light. With her keys in his hand he carried her into her building, up the elevator, and to her door without a problem. Ann snoozed peacefully, soft breath tickling his neck.

  
He had to finagle a little to hold Ann up while simultaneously unlocking her door but he managed. Once inside, Grillby laid Ann on the couch and headed for the kitchen. Part of his plan for the date had been to take her to dinner at a small hole in the wall he had visited a few times. It was pretty good. Simple food, but made with passion and care. Grillby wanted to make sure Ann was fed before he left.

  
The fridge was a frightening sight. Take-out boxes took up most of the shelf space and everything was haphazardly thrown in. For a woman who keeps the rest of her apartment so clean and organized she didn’t spread that courtesy to her food. Though he did remember their conversation about her being raised in foster care. She didn’t know how to cook. A quick look in her pantry did turn up pasta noodles and sauce. Spaghetti it is.

  
He remembered where most everything was from the last time he had cooked for her. Soon, a pot with water and a bit of butter and salt sat before him. The altercation had been… draining. Caring for Ann left him tired. So, where he would normally use his magic to heat the water, he instead placed the pot on the stove and lit the burner…. God stoves heat slow… While he waited he opened the jar of sauce and took a small taste. Oh what the fuck?!

  
Grillby cringed when he tasted the bitter and under seasoned sauce. She willingly ate this?! By some grace, Ann had an interesting array of seasonings. He quickly and expertly doctored the sauce, finishing just as the water hit a boil. In less than fifteen minutes he had managed to make a halfway decent meal for Ann. At least it was an easy meal for her to eat if she woke up feeling sick.

  
It was just as he was looking for something to cover the dish that he heard it. That tiny scared voice he had heard earlier. That voice that hurt him so much. “Grillby?” Ann whimpered from her place on the couch.

  
He quickly went to her side. “Hey.”

  
“When did-?” She started, looking around the apartment in a daze.

  
“You fell asleep on the bus.”

  
“Oh.” Ann’s face instantly turned red. “I’m sorry. That-”

  
Grillby silenced her with a look. It was a look he usually flashed her when she rambled but this time he wanted to keep the rambling from starting. “Don’t apologize. I made you something to eat. Up for it?” She nodded and asked for a glass of water as well. When he brought it over she was pulling two orange prescription bottles from a cloth bin under her coffee table.

  
She took one pill from each bottle and swallowed them for taking her first bite in a trance. The way her eyes widened as the sauce hit her tongue shot that pride through him again. “How do you do that?” She mumbled, staring at her meal with suspicious and awe struck eyes.

  
“Get some real sleep, Ann. Call me when you get up tomorrow, I’ll stop by before work.” Grillby got to his feet, ready to sleep after the day they had, but was stopped by a desperate hand.

  
Ann stared up at him, sick anxiety and fear maring her expression. It was like Grillby was stuck. His own worry about her and that gaze held him in place as she glanced around the room and worried her lip between her teeth. “Stay?” She nearly begged. Fear. It danced across their bond. Grillby knew she had no real reason to be afraid. Her dad didn’t know where she lived. There was little chance of him coming near her again anyway after everything that happened at the museum.

  
But fear isn’t always rational. Grillby sat back down next to her. “Yeah.” A thought struck him. “Don’t even think about sneaking out here to bother me on the couch. I will toddler tuck you into bed.” A snort and bark of beautiful laughter filled the air around them. Some of that lingering tension broke and Grillby felt a calm smile lift his mouth. Grillby wasn’t sure of his feelings for Ann. But he knew he definitely preferred her smiling and laughing.


	12. Chapter 12

In the past few days since the museum date and their unfortunate run in with Ann’s father, Grillby had become increasingly worried about Ann. The morning after, he had woken and made coffee and a simple breakfast for them both. But Ann was quiet, spacy. She barely touched any of it and just stared ahead. By the time he had to leave for work she had only spoken three words to him. ‘I’m just tired’.

  
He had gone back to her place after work, profusely worried when she never answered any of his messages. Just the way he found her was enough to set his soul on edge. Ann was just laying on the couch, curled up in a soft grey blanket staring at the TV as some odd animated show flashed. Now Grillby understood that sometimes a person just needs to lay there and just… be. That wasn’t what worried him so much. Ann wasn’t wearing her glasses.

  
She had once idly told him when she feels overwhelmed she takes them off. To her it’s like losing one of her senses. If she can’t see, her mind works better. She can keep calm. But when Grillby asked her about it, she only insisted that she was tired. She would be fine. Of course Grillby didn’t feel right about leaving her alone like that, but he couldn’t stay over again. Instead, he called Linae. She agreed to check on her first thing in the morning.

  
It didn’t ease the tension in Grillby’s mind much. For the first time in over a hundred years Grillby couldn’t sleep. The sleep he did get was plagued by nightmares and forced him awake in not so gentle of manners. Several of the dreams placed him back in the war, watching his fellows fall to dust beside him, smelling the burning hair and flesh of the human soldiers. Others were dreams of sitting with Ann. But when he would look over… she would just be gone, her tortured sobs deafening him as he tried in vain to find her.

  
Renee had coaxed the situation out of him on the second day of this. The worry was obvious on her face as he explained the deepening level of Ann’s depression. By the end of their shift, she had called Linae and set up a time to visit Ann together the next day. Grillby had a headache. All he really wanted was for Ann to at least talk again. That and get some damn sleep.

  
Somehow, he managed to smoke three cigarettes on the walk to her place that night. They did nothing to sooth him. His foot bounced on the elevator ride up. How would he find her tonight? Still wrapped up on the couch? Staring at a glass of wine? Notebook and computer tossed haphazardly on the coffee table after she had given up trying to work? That was an interesting one to walk into the night before…

  
He certainly never expected to find her chatting half-heartedly at the door with a well dressed young man.

  
The man was tall and slender, clothes tailored to fit him just so and hair styled in a way that brought immediate attention to his ever cheerful face. A good looking man. One Grillby might have tried to pursue at one time or another. Ann didn’t look much better, but there was some fresh color in her cheeks that gave Grillby some hope. She looked up as he approached.

  
“Grillby, hi.” He winced at the rough tone but nodded at her and flashed a smile.

  
The young man looked him up and down and dropped his jaw. “Annie, who is this tall drink?” He asked with a certain drawl.

  
“O-oh. Right. You haven’t been by since ‘Flecks of Gold’ was finished. Uhm. This is my friend, Gril-”

  
“Your bo~yfriend?” He sang, excited.

  
Ann swallowed and glanced around sporadically. “No, just friend. Though we are soulmates.” The last part was whispered under her breath.

  
The man’s jaw dropped further before pulling up into the most excited grin Grillby had ever seen. He cheered and through his arms around Ann who instantly paled and stiffened. If there was one thing Grillby knew about her it was that Ann hated random, enthusiastic hugs. If she saw the hug coming or one asked permission she actually quite enjoyed the contact. Grillby dropped his hand heavily on the man’s shoulder, making him step back in surprise.

  
His grin turned sly as he saw his other hand gently placed on Ann’s. “Oh my God, you two are the most adorable thing I’ve seen in years.” He gushed.

  
“Edd…”

  
“I know. I know. ‘Friends’.” He quoted. “Let’s see how long that lasts. Oh, why didn’t you tell me you found your soulmate?! And da~mn girl, lucky you.” Ann was red. A shade of red he never thought a human could turn. The man held out his hand to Grillby. “Hi, Eddie Pearson. I edit this one’s books.”

  
Grillby debated on whether or not to shake his hand, especially after his attitude toward their remaining friends. But, in the end, he decided to play nice with her coworker and grasped his hand a little too tightly on purpose. “Grillby Tine.”

  
“Seriously though, the whole friends thing needs to go. You two, stunning couple! The dim but brilliant author with her bright flame of love at her side, oh I could just eat you up!”

  
Grillby’s hand slowly slid from Ann’s shoulder and tucked into the pocket of his jeans. They were not a couple. They had only been on one date that ended on a sour note. He wasn’t even sure if he would want to go on another one. The assumption that they would make a good couple based on their appearance together was asinine and rubbed him the wrong way. Also, calling Ann dim? Right to her face?

  
Ann must have sensed his anger as she quickly took the brown wrapped package from Eddie’s hands and smiled. It was not genuine. “Thanks for bringing this to me. I’ll get the first chapter to you in a week or two.”

  
“Okay sweetie. Have fun, nice meeting you!” He skipped off down to the elevator and Grillby visibly relaxed.

  
Ann quietly passed him the package and shuffled back into her still open door. He followed her at a short distance and frowned at the sight of her notebook in tatters around the coffee table and on the couch. Her computer was open and she stared at the illuminated screen in a daze. Grillby tore open the paper wrapping and felt a sick amount of emotional confusion. ‘Feathers of White’. By Anerin Foster. The third book of the mage rebellion trilogy.

  
So she had finished it. Grillby wanted to be happy. He loved the series and wanted to know how it ended. But he also knew it was a series Ann never actually wanted to write. She had been in a piteous state for days now, and he just couldn’t be happy about the long awaited book now in his hands. Not to mention the worry that flooded him at the sight of the torn paper around her… Grillby carefully sat to her on the couch and glanced at her computer screen. An email from her publisher?

  
“I got the positive for the third book a few days ago. Wanted to surprise you again.” She muttered, eyes never leaving the screen. “It’s my first series and… my publisher wants to throw a release party next week.” He couldn’t imagine Ann at a party, let alone one that would put a lot of attention on herself. Her hands knotted and she refused to look at Grillby. “Would… Grillby, would you be my date?”

  
Well that… was not what he was expecting. Ann still stared at the screen, face paler than he was used to seeing and obviously tired. But she was the same as when he had met her. Quietly pretty all on her own. A turn from the normal. Someone he was happy to call his friend. Grillby put his arm around her shoulder and sat back against the couch, bringing her with him. “Sounds like a blast.” He teased.

  
There it was. That smile he had missed. He took a look around the room and finally stated. “Do I want to know?”

  
Ann shook her head with a small huff. “Don’t ask, please.” So he didn’t.

Linae and Renee sat around the coffee table and gabbed about their weeks to a slowly relaxing Ann the next afternoon. Grillby was right to be worried, she looked terrible. But depression is a cunt that everyone deals with in some form or another. However, Ann wasn’t the only one who seemed out of it. Linae had noticed Renee spacing out herself a few times. It was when Ann commented on it that Linae finally spoke up.

  
“Alright, Costa. That’s twice in the last fifteen minutes. What’s up?”

  
Renee fidgeted, a totally new look for her and tried to appear innocent. If there is one thing Renee is not, it’s innocent. “So… You both have your soulmates now. What was… you know, your expectations for meeting them like… verses how you actually met?”

  
Linae and Ann shared a look before turning back to their odd friend. “Well… My expectation and reality ended up being the same.” Linae lifted her shirt to show off her gently curving soulmate tattoo just below her breasts. ‘You seem handy to have around’. Ann and Renee snorted. “I always knew meeting my soulmate was going to be filled with dry humor and awful puns, and boy was it. Sure enough, Tom made that joke, finger guns and all and I just laughed. ‘You’re hilarious, a true shining star’. He obviously wasn’t expecting the sarcasm, but was pleased anyway.”

  
She often thought of that day. He had smiled that boyish grin, delight filling the endless blue of his eyes. Monsters hadn’t been on the surface for very long and Linae was still on edge when talking to humans. But he had put her at ease so quickly. Not to mention his scent was divine. Tom had been doing much better recently. No more recoils, no obvious avoidance. Just the love he had shown since their very first day.

  
“Tom’s a nut sometimes. But you guys are so stinking cute I can’t stand it.” Renee gushed.

  
Linae nodded a thanks and turned to Ann. “What about you and Grillby? I can’t imagine it was anything profound.”

  
Ann flushed slightly and avoided their gazes. “He, uh… stepped on my glasses after I bumped into him actually.”

  
“Lord…” Linae pinched the bridge of her nose while Renee snickered.

  
“I… never had expectations for meeting my soulmate. I just always hoped they would be kind and want to be around me.”

  
Renee snorted. “Lost points on both of those.” Linae slapped her thigh. “Ahhh. Bitch.”

  
“I mean… Grillby is kind. It’s just a different kind of kind. He never shows his affection in his words and can be distant, but it’s the things he does that makes me know he at least cares a little bit.” Like protecting her from her mother. Protecting her from her father. Making sure she was home safe after they met at the bookstore.

  
“I know what Grillby’s tattoo says, I’ve seen it. But what does yours say?” Linae asked.

  
“Ooh! Show us!” Renee said.

  
Ann’s face exploded in color. “Uh… It’s uh… well…”

  
Renee’s grin spread. “It’s in a naughty place, innit?”

  
“Well, no, it’s on my back, but the uh… placement…”

  
“It’s a tramp stamp!” They both declared, delight lacing their voices. Ann grew even more red. “Oh, now I have to see it!” Renee said.

  
Ann took a deep breath and stood, turning and lifting her shift just enough to see the small of her back. Across her back, just above the waistline of her jeans were the licking letters of her tattoo. The letters almost appeared to be black fire. ‘Who the hell says gosh golly.’ “Gosh golly? Really?” Linae asked as she sat back down.

  
“The family I lived with the longest was the family of a Lutheran minister. If I ever said a swear the mom would hit my hand with a wooden spoon. So I started saying fake cuss words. Gosh golly slips out every so often.”

  
“Wooden spoon? That’s hardcore.” Renee took a drink of coffee. “Okay, so it was cringy. That’s what I’m gathering from your first meeting with Grillby.”

  
Ann shrugged and stared at the suddenly very interesting rug. Linae rose a brow. “Why are you asking, Costa?” She froze. “What about you? I’ve never seen your tattoo. I assume you haven’t met your soulmate yet.”

  
“I, uh…” Renee was suddenly very nervous and glanced around the room again. “Okay, so, the truth…” She deflated. “I may have… met my soulmate last night after my shift.”

  
“What?!” Both Linae and Ann exclaimed. “You don’t seem very happy.” Ann commented.

  
Renee looked up. “No! It’s just… I..” She sighed. “My soulmate is a girl. And… I’ve never, you know, thought of myself as liking girls.”

  
“You never seemed to like guys much either.” Linae cracked.

  
“Why do you think I never slept with Grillby?”

  
Linae smiled a mimic of the evil grin Renee usually flashed. “I’m telling Grillby you called him a ho.”

  
“So why do you seem so upset by your soulmate being a girl?” Ann asked.

  
Renee flopped back. “Because! I always had this expectation that my soulmate would be… that one guy that did it for me. Someone my family would coo over and make inappropriate jokes with. I always thought I would meet them and just… I don’t know, love them immediately. Instead… Simret was the one who said. The one who said ‘You are the most beautiful woman I’ve seen in a long time’.”

  
“I would kill to have strangers say that to me.” Linae said.

  
“Strangers do say that to you.” Ann deadpanned.

  
“Not the point, guys.” Renee pulled out her phone and showed them a picture of a truly lovely woman. Dark, smooth skin, hair a mass of well maintained curls, eyes a smiling brown. “Like I said, her name is Simret. She’s from Eritrea and has the most adorable accent. We… spent some time talking and exchanged numbers. But the whole time we were together I kept thinking… A woman? Do I like women? Can I like my own soulmate like that?”

  
It was obvious Renee was questioning her sexuality at this point. It wasn’t so much her soulmate confusing her. Just… herself. Linae leaned forward a bit. “Well… do you like her?”

  
Renee shrugged. “She’s nice. Really pretty, too. And funny as hell… A lot of the things I was hoping for in my soulmate honestly.”

  
“Costa, it’s okay if you like her. You don’t have to like all women to be able to consider her as a romantic partner. Just… that woman.”

  
“Also, you don’t have to be romantic with your soulmate. It’s not a requirement. You could just be very good friends if you decide.” Ann added.

  
“Exactly.” Renee still seemed confused, upset. Linae put a hand to her shoulder. “Look, give it some thought, maybe talk it out with Simret. And if you decide you want to try being romantic, come talk to me. I’ll help you out.”

  
She smiled. “Thanks Lin.” The conversation picked up with lighthearted talks about odd wants and dreams. Laughs filled the room at some of the more garish dreams. But it was easy, fun. Ann felt more like herself than she had in days. That weight in her chest was finally beginning to ease. The buzzing in her mind was quieting.

  
Linae left the room to answer a phone call and Renee moved to sit closer. “Seriously, though. Are you good?”

  
Truely? No. But she would be. “I’m fine. It’s… been a hard few days.”

  
“I wish I had been there.” She muttered. “I would have kicked the ever loving piss out of him! Fuck that asshole! He doesn’t deserve happiness after being such a shitty dad. And a shitty person! Who lies to their soulmate about having a kid?”

  
Ann felt a giggle rise in her throat. “His husband seemed like a nice guy. I hope he’s doing okay.”

  
“You are way too nice and so friggin cute.” Ann did giggle then and lifted her mug for a drink. In an unfortunate twist, the handle completely broke off from the mug, sending the ceramic and the liquid inside to Ann’s lap. She was covered in lukewarm coffee. “What the fuck? How does that even happen?”

  
“It’s probably a sign I need new dishware.” Ann sighed as she stood. “I’m going to change.”

  
Ann’s apartment was somewhat spacious for only one person. It had two bedrooms and two bathrooms. One of the bedrooms was more of an office that Ann didn’t use much since she did the majority of her work on the couch. Linae had been gone for a while, and curiosity struck when Ann heard her voice floating from the office. She shook her head and decided to change. Eavesdropping is impolite. However… “No, I wouldn’t say that. She’s Grillby’s soulmate.”

  
What now? Her hand on the door knob of her room hesitated. “He asked me to hang out with her, that’s why. She’s good people.” A pause, then Linae laughed. “Not gonna lie, I thought that too.” Another pause. “I don’t know if I would call us friends exactly. Like I said, she’s Grillby’s soulmate. I want to be on good terms with her.”

  
She… didn’t see them as friends? That weight built in her chest again as Linae continued to speak. “I usually only see her when Grillby or Costa ask me to.” She sounded frustrated.

  
That’s it? Linae only comes to see her… When Grillby asks?

  
_(‘I thought she was different. I thought we were friends.’_

  
_“No one actually wants to be friends with you. You learned that the hard way. What were their names again?”_

  
_‘No. They wanted to be friends with Anerin Foster. They wanted to see the set of ‘Endless’. But they were still good friends.’_

  
_“Then why did they always make excuses? Why did they always leave you out? Why did they never invite you to join them?”_

  
_The darkness was pulling at her mind again. It twisted around her shoulders and legs, heavy and tight. Her ‘friends’ had been frauds. But they had still been kind. They had still been friends. Just like Linae and Renee were now. They laughed, they chatted. It felt so nice to be with them. It felt so nice to be their friend._

  
_“Linae said it. You are not her friend. She only comes around because of Grillby. She only wants to be around you because of Grillby. But she doesn’t want you.”_

  
_The ringing came back, louder than last time. Pain lanced her soul and she finally pushed open the door and entered her bedroom._

  
_“No one wants you. Not your mom, not your dad, not Linae.”_

  
_Silent tears tracked down her cheeks as she numbly made her way to the dresser, eyes glancing up into the mirror. Ann didn’t recognize herself.)_

  
“Why not?”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We uh... *Cough* We get a little HOT in this chapter. Just saying.

“Okay, but seriously Grillby!”

  
“I said enough, Renee.”

  
“Come on! It would sound bad if I asked!”

  
“And I’m not asking for you.”

  
Grillby stood back up from his kneel after connecting the fresh keg and faced his coworker and friend. It was five days until the release party and Renee, unfortunately, found out about it. For the past half hour she had been following him around as he took care of his opening tasks begging him to ask Ann to invite her. Because apparently it would make Renee sound like she was using Ann if she asked.

  
He didn’t necessarily follow the logic, but respected that Renee was thinking about Ann’s feelings and outlook. That didn’t mean he was going to do it by any means though. If Ann wanted Renee to be there then she would ask her herself. But even though he had said that well before, it didn’t keep her from begging and flashing her big brown eyes.

  
Renee folded her hands in front of them and successfully made her bottom lip tremble. Why she still thought that would work on him was a mystery. In the time they had known each other, not once had the lip tremble worked. He knew the sleeping demon in that woman… “Come on. Look, every time I hang out with her, Linae is there! We finally had just a modicum of one-on-one time the other day and it was amazing! I just want to get closer to her!”

  
“So call her and get a damn coffee or something. Why do I have to be the middleman for your budding friendship?”

  
“It’s called being a wingman and because Ann hasn’t been answering mine or Linae’s calls… or texts… or tweets.”

  
Grillby started to set out the bottles of liquor. “And? She’s been in a depressive funk for a few days, give her time to get the energy to text back.”

  
“Yeah, okay, but here’s the thing.” She grabbed a tray of pint glasses and began to organize them at the bar. “So, Linae and I went to visit her the other day. It was great, we talked, had some coffee, gossiped. Linae took a phone call and we had this really nice talk and then her mug broke so she had to change her clothes. And when she came back she looked worse than when we got there. I think this might be something more than a depressive funk.”

  
He set down a bottle of FireBall whiskey and turned to her, flaming brow risen. “Meaning?”

  
“A depressive funk generally has no reason. Give it time and some self therapy, or real therapy… or medicine… or weed *cough* and it lets up. Ann left and came back more depressed than she had been. Something is going on that is making her more and more depressed, okay? I think she might need some help.”

  
Well… That was actually somewhat worrying. He was used to seeing Linae and a handful of others go through times of depression. It was normal in the underground. Not much hope and living in a world of constant violence and fear with no one to trust did that to people. So he assumed it was the same with Ann. That she was going to cope the way she knew how and he would be there to help her along. But the thought of something actively happening to cause her depression, outside of the altercation with her father, was clarifying and painful.

  
Grillby took a deep breath and turned back to the liquor display. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow. Don’t worry, Renee.”

  
“You gonna ask about that invite while you’re at it?”

  
“Renee.” He warned. She only giggled and wandered off to do her own list of tasks. All night, Grillby’s mind wandered to Ann. He had been actively worried about her since the date but now it was like that worry had doubled. Above all, he just wanted to see Ann herself again. He felt bad though. Grillby knew he had been unfairly distancing himself from her for the past few days. But the coos and pushes to make their relationship romantic hadn’t ended with Eddie.

  
A few people he knew who had seen them out together and knew about their soulmate bond had stopped him to ask about her. And gave not too subtle jabs about ‘soulmates being so cute’ ‘what a happy man he must be’. Not one of them cared about Grillby and Ann in honesty, they just expected them to be together because they were soulmates. Even his neighbor, this little old hispanic woman, cornered him and nearly pinched his cheeks while bugging him about it. It was the one thing Grillby hated most of all.

  
And Ann was suffering because of it. He hadn’t been to see her since the day he met Eddie. He also… hadn’t started reading the book she gave him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to. But it was like when he had first started reading her work, when he was reluctant and Renee finally pestered him into submission. With his being reluctant to be around Ann because of all the relationship pushing… he felt just as reluctant to read the book.

  
Maybe he needed to bite the bullet himself. He wasn’t underground anymore. Grillby was in a position where he could be open and vulnerable with other people again. Maybe… talking to Ann about his feelings on the matter would help them both. They could try to work through whatever could be eating at Ann, and also work through his aversion to his own now obvious feelings for her.

  
These thoughts followed all through his shift, on the walk home, and even as he sunk into bed. He would visit Ann tomorrow. Tomorrow… tomorrow would be a good day.

  
Or… not.

  
Shit. Fuck, shit, damn it, why?! Grillby’s eyes creaked open as the familiar and overwhelming heat flooded his already normally hot body. He had lost track of the months. It was late spring and his heat had just hit. There was no way he could go to Ann’s place like this. Despite his age and practice working with his heats, Grillby knew better than to attempt to be around Ann during his week. Lucky him, his fire magic usually helped to… speed up the heat a little.

  
Most monsters had heats that lasted five to seven days. With a little extra… focus… Grillby could work through his in time for the party in four days. He had done it before he could do it again. Of course, he had Linae back then. No, he could make it happen. Grillby sat up and groaned at the slide of the sheets over his already aching erection. Shit. He still needed to call Ann.

  
Carefully, he moved the top sheet over to the side and let his legs dangle off the side of his bed. Phone call first. Then addressing the heat. Grillby sighed as he reached for his phone and pulled up Ann’s contact. ‘You’ve reached the voicemail box of-’ Damn it! She didn’t answer. Frustration flared deep and hot as he hit redial and tried to ignore the aching need currently standing at attention against his abdomen.

  
Fucking hell. The ring tone seemed to go on forever before the voicemail prompt began again. Grillby dropped the phone on the bed and leaned back. It was still somewhat early. If he waited an hour and tried again, maybe he would get through. So, Grillby called the bar instead, explained the situation to his boss and got the next five days off. They were used to this happening considering he had been with them for a month shy of two years at that point. So it was relatively simple to get the time off.

  
He sat back against his pillow and covered his face with his hands, taking deep and measured breaths. Okay, one hour. In one hour he would try to call Ann again. But until then… Grillby’s right hand ghosted down from his face, across his chest and abdomen to his erection. He hadn’t had a bed mate since meeting Ann. Considering that was over two months ago he was surprised he wasn’t more affected. But it felt like any other heat he had gone through.

  
The first few strokes of his hand down his shaft flooded his mind with anticipation. Images floated through his head. Partners he had that had really done it for him. Grillby tried to avoid picturing Linae out of respect for Tom but found it a little more than difficult. Something was off though. Even as his thumb swirled the head and pushed back down the shaft and up again to repeat the maddening motion it was like his pleasure had hit a wall. He tried imagining that bitch he had slept with the night before meeting Ann with no luck.

  
Grillby held his breath, knowing the lack of oxygen was a good way of bringing about his peak. It niggled there, right on the edge, nothing coming through until he needed to take a breath. Fuck. Out of desperation, Grillby decided to clear all his thoughts and focus solely on his pleasure and the motion of his hand. God it felt nice. But nice wasn’t enough. Nice couldn’t- An image of Ann settled in his mind. Her in that simple v-neck t-shirt, leaning over to set a glass down on the coffee table.

  
That was the first time he realized she had a decent rack. But the gentle fluttering of her lashes against her cheeks, the smile on her lips, the tantalizing way she tucked her brown hair behind her ear… Grillby gasped and shuddered as his orgasm finally hit. His chest heaved as he reveled in his high and slowly came down from it. No fucking way. He came thinking about Ann…

  
The heat raged through his system and despite having just hit his peak his member was up and ready to go again. Grillby needed to test something. His hand began it’s motions again and his mind wandered. He thought about his timid little soulmate, a woman he had never seen naked, never even seen in a pair of shorts. The image of them on their date at the museum stuck with him, tucked away just out of sight in a hallway, hidden behind a display. Anyone could find them if they made too much noise.

  
Ann’s hands were always cold and the contrasting temperature against his flames was such a wild feeling. He snuck his hands up under her dress and across the bare skin of her back. She bit her lip, trying to remain quiet. Every gentle graze of her fingers against his arms was soothing, but he wanted exciting. He cupped her chin and tilted her face up, staring down into her flushed and aroused face. God she was beautiful. That dark red on her lips called to him like a siren's song. “Go on.” He breathed near her ear. “You can explore.”

  
Their lips meshed together and one of Grillby’s hands palmed at her hip. Ann shuddered in his hold, groaning into their heated kiss. He took a sharp breath in through his nose as he felt those cold fingers dancing against the flames of his skin just beneath his shirt. They drew a line from his sides to his stomach, inching up against his chest and back down again. They grew more confident as his own groan vibrated against her lips. His soul thudded and twitched as he felt her hand carefully slid down the inside of his jeans…

  
The insistent buzzing of his phone jerked him from his fantasy as he simultaneously reached another orgasm. Fucking hell, Jesus and a mariachi band. Okay, Grillby officially needed to evaluate his feelings for Ann. Speaking of, it was her name and contact photo that flashed across his screen as he almost drunkenly reached for the phone. He tried to calm his panting breaths before answering. “Ann?”

  
“Hey.” She sounded tired. “Sorry, I didn’t hear my phone earlier. Are you okay? You sound out of breath.”

  
Her voice alone was sending waves of desire and pleasure through his burning body. But now he questioned if he really felt such a strong desire for Ann, or if his heat was feeding on his soul's desire for it’s partner. He knew he cared about her as more than the friend he insisted she was. But that fantasy was so vivid. Did he want that? Did he truly want to tease Ann and give her full permission to explore him as she pleased? Grillby took a deep breath. “That’s why I called.”

  
“Do you need me to come over?”

  
“Don’t come over!” He insisted quickly. “Look I… damn it, I’ve never actually had to explain it before…” Grillby ran a hand through his flaming hair and sighed. “Do you know what a heat cycle is?”

  
“Like what dogs and cats go through?”

  
He did not like the comparison… but… “Yes, like that. Monsters go through the same thing twice a year. We get… Christ, very 'active' and often aggressive. I called to tell you I’m going through mine and I won’t be around until the party. Do not try to come over. Understand?”

  
It was quiet on the other end for a moment. Grillby thought the call had disconnected until Ann’s timid voice asked, “Does it hurt?”

  
“Not… hurt. It’s uncomfortable.”

  
“... Are you sure you don’t want me to come over?”

  
Was- Jesus fucking Christ- was she offering to work through his heat? She understood that would mean near constant sex, right? They hadn’t even kissed! Grillby swallowed thickly as the fantasy played in his mind once again. What sounds would she actually make as he palmed her body, sweet and layed out for him to play with? How would she handle him at his literal most vulnerable time? How would kissing those dark red painted lips really taste?

  
Oh he was tempted. Had it been later in his heat he might have said yes, begged her to come as quickly as she could and make his fantasy real. But Grillby was still in his right mind and knew better. He sighed. “I- no. I don’t want to hurt you, Ann. I’ll see at the party. Promise.”

  
He could practically hear her nodding her head on the other end. “O-okay. Um… feel better? And if you need anything… I can drop it off at the door and run, okay?”

  
Grillby snorted. “Okay.” He ended the call and sat back again. She offered to help him. His soul flittered and danced in his chest as her words replayed in his head. The thing was, Grillby knew Ann had feelings for him. He wasn’t blind. It was just that he didn’t think those feelings went that far. An odd joy lit up in him. Once this heat ended he would know where his feelings began and his dick ended. But for the time being…

  
The fantasy in his head picked up right where it had left off, with Ann’s hand slowly slipping down the front of his jeans…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, one of my other stories is nearing it's end. I've almost finished writing this one. And the other is still in production. Little hard to write two different Grillby stories at the same time. But, that being said, would you rather the next story be an Asgore story, a classic Sans story, Swapfell Paps, or Underfell Paps?


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *deep breath* Okay. Remember at the beginning of this whole story I mentioned a part I had written out and after I wasn't okay for a while? Please. Everyone I am urging you to reread the tags and proceed with caution. It gets better after this chapter. I promise. We will have our happy ending. Next week will be double updates. Also, I have a test on Monday, that's why I'm posting this now.

Four long and exhausting days later, true to his word, Grillby’s heat had passed and he stepped out of his apartment dressed and ready for the release party. It had been… a long four days. The amount of joy that filled Grillby’s soul when he woke to a normal state of being was disturbing. But the last day of his heat had been so intense he was worried he might not be able to make it.

  
With his heat being over, he was able to test something. All through his heat, Grillby couldn’t take his mind from Ann. Her beautiful smile, her gentle touch, her soft voice. But he couldn’t be certain if the thoughts he was having about Ann were his real feelings or just a desire born of his lust. But the first thought that filled his mind when he realized his heat was over was ‘I want to see her’.

  
Grillby missed Ann without measure and for once didn’t care that he wanted her. He wanted her. It had been a long time coming he supposed. He should have been able to realize his own feelings well before that moment, but stubbornness is a hell of a trait. And that was why he had gone out earlier to get Ann a gift. Something small. Something to say ‘I’m sorry for taking so fucking long’.

  
That night, he was going to find a quiet moment and tell her everything. Lord. Grillby actually couldn’t recall the last time he was nervous to tell someone he liked them. It would have been before the war. Grillby had only been exclusive with one person while underground, and that was before monster kind had changed to the kill or be killed bullshit. That person had confessed to him though.

  
It would take a lot of getting used to if she did accept his confession. It would take a lot of work, a lot of Grillby following his own advice from over the years. But he would do anything to have the right to call Ann Foster his. The gift sat in its box in his jacket pocket. While he refused to wear a tie, Grillby had found his nice pants and blazer for the party. Apparently, there was going to be an important surprise announcement by Ann’s publisher, and they requested the dress code be semi-formal.

  
Because Ann’s book addressed the acceptance of magic and those who wielded it, as well as drew attention to racism against them, it was considered a more monster positive series, a socially outspoken piece of fiction. Several of the monster royal guard had been invited, even the queen herself. Though he had heard she had politely declined.

  
Grillby shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked to the venue. Ann had been excited when he called that morning to confirm he was better and would be there. They agreed to meet a short distance from the venue so they could arrive together. It had been a day short of a week since he had last seen her. The anticipation was making him antsy.

  
“Grillby!” His soul thumped at the sound of his name on her sweet voice. Ann hurried to him, a bright and beautiful smile gracing her dark red lips. Those same lips he had been fantasizing about. She looked so much better than she had before. There was a shine in her eyes again. It was dim, but it was there. Ann came to stop and he had to admire her. Her dress was long, soft looking, and a dark blue that brought out a shine of gold in her hair he had never noticed. Ann’s cheeks turned pink and she avoided his gaze. “I… I missed you.”

  
It was so soft he almost missed it. The fire on his head popped and licked as his joy at her words shot through him. Grillby smiled and reached out to take her hand. The red of her cheeks grew and she peered up at him shyly. “I assume the cinnamon muffins were from you?” Grillby had woken up one morning of his heat to a bag full of muffins wrapped in wax paper on his doorstep. The same as the one she had given him as payment when they first met.

  
Ann’s gaze dropped again. “I-uh- you seemed… you know, to like them the last time. So… uh.”

  
He huffed a laugh and gently squeezed her hand. “Thanks.” After exchanging smiles they headed hand in hand to the venue. A few people wandered in with them but didn’t seem to notice the star of the party. It was a large venue that held a certain formal appeal that Grillby had not expected for a book release party. Huh… looking around he began to wonder if he should have worn the tie after all…

  
The actual room where the party was being held was decked out in gold and purple. Like old royalty. The decor spoke of more than a semi-formal celebration. What the hell was going on? Ann had seemed to pick up on it as well as she looked all around the room. Everyone was dressed well, but seemed just as out of place as they felt.

  
“Hey! Grillby, Ann!” Renee joined them, a glass of sparkling wine in hand. Huh. So she had invited her after all. “So, this is weird right? I know I’ve never been to one of these but uh… this is weird.”

  
Ann nodded. “It’s not like my last release party at all.”

  
The moment Renee noticed Ann’s hand in his she shot him the most excited/devilish/’told you so’ smirks he had ever seen. An increasingly familiar feeling shot through him as he carefully slipped his hand from her. “I’m going to grab a glass. Want one?” He asked, not wanting her to question his sudden distance. She shot a gentle smile and nodded.

  
God. Now he was going to be stuck with the devil her fucking self making shaded comments about their relationship… that doesn’t even fucking exist! … yet… Grillby sighed and made his way to the bar. The selection was slim but what was available was phenomenal. He grabbed a sweet red for Ann and something smoky for himself. The next hour was full of maddening small talk and introductions. There were a lot of authors involved with Ann’s publisher there. He was familiar with several of them and had to admit he was kind of excited he got to meet them.

  
Renee had flipped her shit when Ann introduced her to the author of a new romance series that had every woman in the world under a spell. She had stepped off to chat with her and left them to more, you guessed it, small talk. The only saving grace was the expressions Ann would shoot him after each person left. He had to be really careful about hiding his laughter.

  
It was obvious most of the guests weren’t here to celebrate with Ann. It was a formality and a chance for them to catch up with others in the business. And Ann did not seem to mind that one bit. Finally, they found themselves at a high top near the bar, fresh drinks in hand. Ann’s shoulders had begun to pinch in several minutes before, a sign she was becoming overwhelmed with the social activity.

  
Grillby took a sip of his wine and tapped her shoulder, pointing out to the room. “Found Renee.” He said, mirth evident in his voice. Their little friend was currently chatting excitedly with an obviously not into it author. “Finally making someone else’s life a living hell.”

  
She snorted. “Do you actually like Renee, or…”

  
“Would you believe me if I said yes?” Ann smiled into her drink and looked about the room. There was a quiet pleased air about her. She was happy to be there despite the unwanted social graces. Grillby slipped his hand into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out the small box. It had felt like a lead weight for the past hour, always making itself known to him. But it was just them in that moment. He set it on the table and pushed it her way. Ann carefully lifted it and glanced up at him.

  
He nodded with a smile and she opened it, eyes growing wide behind her glasses. Inside was a set of small round jeweled earrings. The jewels were a dark, almost black purple. She smiled. “They match you.”

  
“And you. If I had to guess.” At her confused frown, he explained. “I saw these and didn’t think of my own flames. I thought of you. Deep purple. The color of persistence. The color I think of every time I think of you.” Ann’s cheeks slowly dusted a bright red as he spoke. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. Grillby gently covered her hand with his own. “Ann, I want to-”

  
“Everyone! If I could have your attention please?” Fuck you, you son of a whore. Grillby glared as fiercely as he could at the man standing across the room, microphone in hand. He was a stout man in a grey suit. Ann had pointed him out earlier as the president of the publishing company. Everyone grew quiet and turned to him. “Thank you everyone for coming out tonight. As you know, we are here to celebrate the release and completion of the third book of the mage rebellion series. Written by our very own Anerin Foster.”

  
A round of applause went around the room as many people turned to them, grinning. How many of those were real he wondered. “Anerin, would you join me?” She grew pale, but took a deep breath and made her way up to the man’s side. “It’s not very often a small publishing team takes such a risk with a young and inexperienced woman. But every day I am so happy that we were the ones to publish your first and subsequent novels. Your remarkable talent has brought our name into the light and we wish to do the same for you. Anerin, we have just gotten word that Universal studios wants to sign a movie deal for the mage rebellion series!”

  
Cheers and applause erupted, though none were louder or more enthusiastic than Renee’s. Even Grillby felt a bit of joyful pride. And while it was obvious Ann was excited and happy about the news, a tinge of remorse slid across the bond. If he had to imagine, it was because being so successful, yet again, with a fantasy publication would make it that much harder for her to publish her so yearned for Historical fictions. The president finished the announcement with the promise that everyone would receive a copy of ‘Feathers of White’ on their way out.

  
Several people stopped Ann to congratulate her. Grillby simply smiled as he watched her shyly accept their well wishes, cheeks turning pink and eyes gazing from below. He found it cute. A man came to stand next to him, a glass of red wine in hand. “You’re the man who’s been at her side all night. The soulmate, correct?”

  
He wasn’t sure if they had been introduced earlier or not, he hadn’t really been paying attention. But he nodded all the same. “Grillby Tine.”

  
The man scoffed. “Honestly, I never pegged such a timid thing like Anerin to go for one of your kind.” Oh. He got it. This ball sack was one of those ‘polite’ racists.

  
Grillby sighed. As much as he would like to make a nice addition to the wall art with his face, he didn’t want to ruin the party for Ann. “We’re just friends.” He answered instead.  
“Don’t be ridiculous. You are soulmates. Falling in love is an inevitability. Though I suppose I can not fault such a good girl being with the wrong type when fate is involved. I see so many couples now like you both. Makes me question just what the world is coming to.”

  
Okay, that was officially Grillby’s limit. He excused himself and went in search of Ann or even Renee. A flash of disappointment lanced the bond just as he was coming to the edge of the main party room. Several smaller sitting rooms were connected to it and he could see groups had made themselves comfortable in several of them. Ann moved along the wall and he caught her hand gently.

  
Oh, she looked tired. Her face was pale and the disappointment he had felt from her was evident on her face. “What happened?” He asked.

  
She shook her head and faked a smile. “Nothing. Just an off comment.”

  
“Ann.” Grillby leveled her with a look and she had the good graces to look guilty at least.

  
“Sorry. I’m not… I’m not trying to hide it, I promise. I’m probably being stupid anyway.” She laughed. “Can I… tell you later? And talk to you about something else as well that’s been bothering me?”

  
“Of course.” He said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

  
She smiled and rested her cheek against his shoulder briefly. “Thank you, Grillby.” Her smile was a little more genuine. “I’m going to get another drink.”

  
Grillby watched as she made her way through the crowd of people, a small smile on his face. He didn’t even notice the shorter figure that came to stand next to him. “YOU SEEM HAPPY.” The naturally loud and familiar voice said.

  
“Son of a bitch. Sans.” Grillby clapped his old friend on the shoulder in greeting. He hadn’t seen much of the short skeleton monster recently. Though he understood. His job as lieutenant of the royal guard didn’t leave much in the way of free time. And any free time he did get he spent with his family. They agreed to step out into the hall to speak as they got several odd looks from a group of humans. As they were leaving, Grillby caught sight of Renee in one of the sitting rooms with several other women, drinking and laughing. Well, at least she’s having fun.

  
“IT’S BEEN AWHILE GRILLBY.”

  
“Around last gyftsmas if I remember right.”

  
Sans nodded and met his eyes. “I HAVE TO SAY, THOUGH. I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SEE THE DAY YOU FELL IN LOVE.”

  
Something in Grillby stuttered. Love? No. It was… He wasn’t in love. He honestly couldn’t say that he was in full confidence. He took a moment before answering. “I don’t think that’s the right description for it.”

  
He leveled him with an unimpressed look. “WELL HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE IT?”

  
“Not love.” He mumbled, that odd irritation poking at the back of his mind. “Sans, you know this stuff isn’t natural to me. I’m just… taking my time to figure everything out.”

  
“I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE HESITATION. SHE IS YOUR SOULMATE, WANTING HER AND LOVING HER IS AS NATURAL AS BREATHING.” Sans said, brow bone raising slightly.

  
Grillby felt his soul tighten at the words. God, was that all anyone was going to say to him this week?! “We’re friends, Sans. That’s as far as it goes.”

  
“SHILOH ONCE INSISTED WE WERE ONLY FRIENDS AS YOU RECALL.”

  
“Yes, but that was you and Shiloh.” He ground his jaw as the irritation mounted.

  
“AND IT COULD VERY WELL BE YOU AND ANERIN AS WELL IF YOU WOULD ALLOW IT.”

  
“For God’s sake, Sans! I don’t love her! It’s not like with you and Shiloh!” All of the congratulations, all of the coos and happy comments and ‘oh, you are so cute together’ had finally weighed so heavily and snapped that control in Grillby’s head. “I barely tolerated being her friend, with everyone constantly pushing us to be together. Why? Because we’re supposed to? That’s bullshit! Listen and shut the fuck up. I don’t want to be with Ann because you and the fucking universe say so. Being soulmates is such a pain in the ass!”

  
Sans' gaze was unimpressed, but changed entirely as he focused on something behind him. Oh no. Slowly, he turned to look behind him, but he already knew what he would find. The hurt was clear as day across their bond. Ann stood there, a glass of wine in her hand and face completely devoid of all emotion. It was a stark contrast to the emotions he was able to feel from her. Hurt, betrayal, self pity, self loathing… hopelessness.

  
She set her glass on the edge of a nearby statue not too carefully and spun, heels clicking on the marble as she walked away. “Shit, Ann. Ann, stop!” Grillby raced after her, but she was walking fast. Nothing he said either reached her or made a difference. Not once did Ann turn back to him. She just kept walking, her heels clicking like the nails on a coffin. God, he had messed up. “Ann, stop, I didn’t mean it!”

  
“It’s fine.” She called back, not stopping as she walked outside and down the steps of the venue.

  
“Ann, please. Stop and listen for just-” His hand landed on her shoulder and a sharp sting filled it next as she whipped around and smacked it with a force he didn’t realize she was capable of. Tears filled her eyes and a grimace marred her face.

  
He took a step back in surprise. “No! I will not stop! I will not listen! I heard enough! No one in my life who was ever supposed to care about me did, so why should I expect my soulmate to be any different?!” In the wake of her words it was like the world had stopped. There was no breeze, no sounds of the city around them… no anything. Ann panted lightly from the force she had used and covered her mouth in realization of just what she had said.

  
Grillby had trouble bringing in his own breath at the absolutely overwhelming feeling pouring over him of despair. Was it from the bond? Or was it his own. What had Grillby done? He didn’t-! Stars, he didn’t mean it like that! But he said what he said… and Ann had heard every word. She bit her lip and flashed that sad and awkward not smile, eyes wavering with unshed tears. “I’m the idiot that hoped. Just… do what you want. Okay? Leave me alone.”

  
She turned and continued down the sidewalk. No matter how many times his mind screamed at him to follow, to catch her and explain and beg for her to forgive his foolish words he couldn’t make his legs move. It was like he was frozen there, just watching as she slowly disappeared into the distance. His soul stuttered and shook. It felt like it was breaking. But he knew his pain was only a fraction of the pain he had caused Ann.

  
God, Ann deserved so much better than him.

  
Grillby wasn’t sure how long he had stared after Ann, but she was long gone by the time he managed to move his feet again. The party was still in full swing inside, but there was no part of Grillby that wanted to renter. He just… wanted to be far from all of this. What he had said to Sans continually ran across his mind like a skipping CD. He had just been so fed up! Almost every single person they came across lately made comments about them being together, not because of their wants and feelings, but because of ‘fate’.

  
It was annoying on one hand and disrespectful on the other. Yes, Grillby hated the idea of fate choosing anything for him. That’s why he practiced Linae’s advice, pretended Ann wasn’t his soulmate. But it was so difficult to ignore when his soul would practically sing when they were together. Grillby didn’t want to be pushed or influenced or expected to fall in love with Ann because of some words on their bodies. And he certainly didn’t want that for Ann.

  
He moved in an absolutely pointless direction, not really caring at this point where he ended up. That ache persisted and grew as he walked. It wasn’t that he disliked Ann. He cared so much about her, wanted nothing more than to see her smile and be happy. At this point Grillby could admit that his initial take on Ann had been biased, unfair, and utterly untrue.

  
Grillby had once lamented that she wasn’t even cute enough to enjoy looking at while they talked. That she wasn’t sparking enough for him to even consider taking her to bed. He thought her boring and too timid. She was forgettable. Two weeks. That’s all it had taken for him to realize he enjoyed spending time with her, like discussing books and history. Two weeks to realize he liked the way her smile made her eyes narrow and crinkle at the edges. Then over three months to admit he liked her.

  
Was it really over? Would she ever speak to him again? Ann’s biggest fear was being unwanted and he had screamed about how being her soulmate was a pain in the ass. He couldn’t have asked for a better soulmate! Why had he said that?! Grillby had been planning to tell her how he felt. He had been planning to open up to her, give being romantic and exclusive a try. Instead he officially marked himself as dick of the century. Instead he hurt the most wonderful woman he had ever met.

  
_(Ann curled on herself, tired and hollow. She was used to this disappointment. Yet this pain was so much worse than any other time. Was it because it was Grillby who had hurt her? Was it because the one person she had hoped would want her, who had put effort into getting to know her, made his true feelings known? Silent tears rolled down her cheeks as she stared out the large window to the city beyond._

  
_The darkness caressed her mind and held her body in place, heavy and insistent. It had never been this heavy before. “You did this to yourself. You hoped and look what happened.”_

  
_‘I wanted to believe he cared. I wanted to believe he was different.’_

  
_“No one ever wants ‘you’. No one cares about ‘you’. You see your own father after twenty years and what did he do?”_

  
_‘Berated me… told me to disappear…’_

  
_“He never wanted you in the first place. You were unwanted before you were even born. Your own mother wished you would disappear. She let you be raped as a child so she could have the one thing that made her happy. She let you be taken by protective services. She only wanted you when you had money.”_

  
_‘She keeps finding me…'_

  
_“You can’t even keep friends. They don’t want ‘you’. They want ‘Anerin’.”_

  
_Renee didn’t care about ‘Ann’. She wanted the perks of being friends with ‘Anerin’. Just like everyone else. Just like all the other times she had been hurt by her own foolish hope. Linae didn’t think of her as a friend like she did. She was Grillby’s friend. And he asked her to spend time with her. Like some sad charity case._

  
_“Your own soulmate wants nothing to do with you!”_

  
_Ann choked on a sob as she folded in on herself. The darkness swirled and gripped her heart with a strong force. “God, why? What did I do that was so wrong? Just one person, that’s all I want. Just one person who cares that I’m here… please… I don’t want to be alone… I’m so scared.” She cried, she begged, she foolishly let herself hope one more time._

  
_But nobody came._

  
_The orange bottles on the coffee table caught her attention as the heaviness pressed against her soul that much harder. They were meant to make her feel better, to make the darkness easier to handle._

  
_How many would she have to take to make the darkness… disappear?)_

  
Grillby had been wandering around for the better part of two hours and found himself in front of Ann’s building. Would she listen to him? He had decided that he at least needed to apologize to her. And if she insisted he leave… he would leave. But Grillby at least had to try. Lucky him, the key system in the elevator was still broken so he was able to ride up without a problem.

  
Each step that took him closer to her door made his head spin, his vision swim, his soul pulse. What was he going to say? The truth, of course, but he knew his normal crass tone of speaking wouldn’t do well for this situation. He wanted… God, he wanted to prove to her he meant every word. He regretted everything he said to Sans in his frustration.

  
Grillby came to stop at her door. Breath in, breath out. Okay, now knock. His hand raised, fist ready to knock. But he couldn’t get himself to do so. It shook in the air just a short distance from the tan painted door. Grillby was… afraid. What would he do if she did reject his apology? What would he do if she insisted he never seek her out again? Sure, at one point he would have been thrilled at that notion. But now…

  
His fist connected with the door. Silence. Grillby knocked again and waited. There was a small noise on the other side and hope bloomed in his soul. But there was no answer. He had been right the first time. She wouldn’t talk to him. Not yet at least. Grillby rested his forehead to the door and sighed. “Ann? Ann, can we please talk?” Silence. “I’m sorry. What I said to Sans… I was so unbelievably frustrated. I…” He sighed. “I should have told you. From the very beginning, I never wanted anything to do with my soulmate. Even as a child. My tattoo was meaningless to me. Why should I be excited or even care about someone I didn’t choose?

  
The universe picking my ‘perfect match’ infuriated me. And when I met you… I thought I could keep a distance. But you pulled me in. You have no idea how much I willingly came to care about you, and began to admire your talent and strength. No matter how hard I tried to dislike you… I couldn’t. Because somewhere along the line of being your friend I did choose you. My soul chose you. I want you to be in my life, Ann. And I want to be in yours.”

  
He stood there a while longer and prayed with everything in him that she would willingly let him inside. They could still work through everything. Grillby firmly believed that. It might take time though. And he was fine with that. He pushed away from the door and gave it one last look before heading down the hall. Something didn’t feel right though. There was a hollowness in his chest and his stomach turned.

  
A wave of dizziness that didn’t feel like his own washed through him at the same time a loud thud sounded from behind Ann’s door. Panic washed through him as he ran back to it and pounded his fist against the wood. “Ann!” Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. He fumbled to pull out his keys and pick the one Ann had given him some odd weeks back. He had given her one for his place as well in case of emergency.

  
The door swung open and Ann lay in a heap on the ground just beyond it. Grillby dropped to her side and pulled her limp body against him, pushing her hair from her face. Her skin was pale, cold, and clammy. Her breathing was uneven and weak. That panic intensified as a heaviness began to fill Grillby. It was numbing, encasing. The very edges of his vision began to grey out, like the color in the world was being erased right before him.

  
Grillby had never experienced this, but he knew exactly what it meant. He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed as fast as possible, praying help would make it in time. “911, what’s your emergency?”

  
“My friend! Please help, she’s dying!”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for sticking around for this. As I said I will be giving everyone two chapters this week. I also started writing the last chapter earlier in the week. OMG cuteness overload as said by my co-worker who likes to read my stuff. Let's wrap up the sad shit, yeah?

The light was too bright against Grillby’s eyes as they slowly opened. What the hell happened? He sat up, groaning at the slight twinge in his back. Ann’s couch? Mid morning light streamed through the large window. Something didn’t look right about it though. It was… fake looking… too harsh. Two empty wine glasses sat on the coffee table near-by with equally empty bottles. Good God, that might explain it.

  
He stretched his arms up and felt his flames pop and twist. He was still in his clothes from the party. What happened? A good chunk of his memory from the night before was missing. The soft pad of bare feet on the wood floor made him look up just in time to see Ann stepping into the living room. His fire popped at the sight of her in nothing more than a silky nighty and hair mussed from sleep.

  
Ann smiled, a beautiful sight. “Hi.” She said, cheeks blushing.

  
“Morning.” He smiled back. Glittering against her ears were the dark gemmed earrings he had given her the night before. That’s right. He confessed to Ann at the party. Grillby finally pushed aside his own aversion to their bond and everyone’s comments and told her how he really felt. She had accepted enthusiastically.

  
Grillby stood and easily pulled Ann into his arms, pressing their foreheads together. Once again he felt that sense that something wasn’t right. But how could anything be wrong when he had Ann all to himself, smiling and running her fingers through his flaming hair? He tipped her chin up and pressed a kiss to her lips. God, it felt so amazing to just kiss her like this. No distance, no hesitation, no interruptions-

  
Interruptions? Something niggled in the back of his mind as he pulled away. Someone… interrupted his confession, didn’t they? They couldn’t have if he was here, holding her, watching her hand slip from his as she went to make coffee. Grillby sat back down on the couch and looked around. ‘Feathers of White’ sat on the somehow now cleared off coffee table. Wait… that was the copy Ann had given him. How had it ended up here? He picked it up and opened the front cover. Something had been signed on the inside but he couldn’t read it.

  
Odd. He couldn’t read the dedication either. It was like the words were a different phonetic language he had never seen before. He continued to turn the pages until he made it to chapter one, instantly throwing the book down onto the coffee table. ‘Being soulmates is such a pain in the ass!’ was scrawled over and over again in hard and jagged lines. There were parts of the page where it appeared the pen had been pressed too hard against it. Grillby’s soul pounded in his chest, his flames darting about.

  
The apartment faded around him. ‘I don’t want to be with Ann because you and fucking universe say so. Being soulmates is such a pain in the ass!’ These words echoed around him, too loud, too harsh. He pressed his hands to his ears and tried in vain to block them out. Oh God. Make it stop. Make it stop!

  
Grillby jerked awake and winced at the harsh light of the ER waiting room. How had he managed to fall asleep sitting like this? Stretching did little to alleviate the crick in his lower back, but he didn’t focus on it. He was too absorbed with the real memories of the night. He had stayed on the phone with the dispatcher, holding onto Ann and begging her to hold on, until the EMT’s arrived. They had taken her from him. One of them was a monster and they had pulled him aside to calm him while his human counterpart tended to a slowly fading Ann. The grey had continued to spread across his vision, his hearing slowly becoming a dull roar.

  
They allowed him to ride in the ambulance but made him wait in the main room once at the hospital. If Grillby could cry, he would have the moment his vision and hearing returned to normal. It meant she was safe. Ann was alive and out of danger. But the nurse told him he needed to wait a little longer before they could give him any information. His relief must have let him fall asleep briefly.

  
Seeing Ann on the floor like that… God, he just wanted to know what happened. He knew she was upset because of what he said. Grillby placed his head in his hands, elbows on his knees. She was dying. Ann had been dying in his arms! And one of the last things she had heard him say was that he thought being her soulmate was a pain in the ass. Which might have been true before. But he knew better now. He cared so much about Ann that he felt physically sick just knowing he caused her so much pain.

  
A young looking PA leaned out into the waiting room and waved him over upon seeing him. Grillby stood and felt nerves eating away at him the closer he stepped to him. Once in the other hall the PA sighed. “Mr. Tine, I’m not going to lie. She… swallowed a lot of pills. It’s a pretty clear suicide attempt.” Dread settled in his stomach. “Has Miss Foster been odd lately? Disconnected, or…”

  
“She… yes. I and a few friends knew she was depressed recently. We thought… she seemed better until…”

  
“It’s alright, Mr. Tine. It’s no one’s fault this happened. Sometimes… the mind wins. But we were able to pump her stomach and stabilize her. She has no family listed, but added you as an emergency contact. Soulmates, right? We need you to answer a few questions and fill out some paperwork.”

  
Grillby answered the PA’s questions to the best of his knowledge and actually surprised himself with just how much he knew. As the PA was tucking away the stylus to his tablet, Grillby asked. “Can I see her?”

  
“Miss Foster hasn’t woken up yet, I’m afraid. We don’t let non-family members in rooms unless the patient consents. Soulmates don’t count I’m afraid.”

  
“Please.” Grillby was not above begging at this point. He had to see with his own eyes a living and breathing Ann. “She doesn’t have family. I’m the only person she has.”

  
The PA pursed his lips and glanced to the left. “Only for a few minutes and only because you’re her soulmate.”

  
He nodded and followed him down the hall. There she was. Grillby could see Ann asleep on the bed through the glass in the door and nearly wept. He entered the room a little unsteadily and couldn’t believe the sight of his own hand shaking as he reached it out to her. The heart monitor was steady, but quiet. Color had returned to her cheeks, her chest rose and fell with each beautiful breath.

  
Just touching her hand, carefully avoiding the IV line and the monitor on her finger, brought an indescribable emotion to his anxious soul. Grillby crumbled. His hand cupped her cheek as he leaned down to press his forehead to hers. “Ann, I’m so sorry. I should never have said what I did, I should have talked to you about your depression, I should… I should have been better. You were hurting and I just left you alone.” Why? Because he couldn’t handle being close to his own soulmate. He couldn’t accept his own feelings.

  
“G-grillby?” He shot up from the weak and tired voice, finding Ann’s blurred brown eyes peering up at him. “Glasses…”

  
“Ann!” He gripped her hand and pressed it between his eyes. “Oh my God.”

  
“Where…?” She croaked.

  
“The hospital.” He answered. “I went to talk to you. You… Ann, why?”

  
She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before going to speak. Before she could get a word out the door opened and the PA waved him out. “Oh! You’re awake!” He said. “Mr. Tine, if you would leave so the doctor can speak to her?”

  
“Wait, just… one second please.” Grilllby implored, turning back to Ann and pressing her hand to his lips. “I wanted to tell you when I gave you the ear-rings. I went to your apartment to explain. I don’t know if you heard me, but I do want you. What I said to Sans was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life. I want to go on another date, Ann. Please, it took so long for me to realize just how much I care about you. I don’t want to lose you.”

  
“Grillby…” Her face contorted and the PA tugged on his arm.

  
In the end, Grillby had to leave the hospital after that. He wasn’t sure exactly what time he had gone to her apartment and found her, but the sun was just peaking over the horizon as he left. It was the last thing he wanted to do at that moment, but he knew she needed her doctor a lot more than she needed him. So, he made a phone call instead. Two to be exact.

  
Twenty minutes later he was joined at a park bench by Linae and Renee, both sporting the most worried expressions he had ever seen. Linae covered her mouth and paled when she caught sight of him. “Grillby! My God, what happened? You look terrible!”

  
“Lin…” He croaked, suddenly overwhelmed. She took a seat beside him and he instantly latched onto her, hiding his face in the crook of her neck. Linae smoothed a hand down his back gently murmuring reassurances.

  
“What happened? I came out to get a drink and couldn’t find you guys last night.” Renee knelt in front of them.

  
Grillby felt the guilt weighing on him. He felt the crushing heartbreak of knowing he had said something and been so terrible to Ann that she decided to take her own life. It was the last thing he wanted. Everything around him seemed to shake as he pulled back just enough to speak, but it was just his own body, wavering and tired and scared. Linae and Renee sat still as paintings as he told him what had happened the night before.

  
His voice cracked when he told them what he had said to Sans, an air stealing sob burning his throat. Linae and Renee shared a look, familiarity and guilt also passing between them. “Grillby, this isn’t your fault.” Linae murmured.

  
Renee nodded and looked away, hand coming up to rub her other arm. “What if she heard me talking to those other authors last night? All I could say was how cool it was to be friends with THE Anerin Foster, how much fun the party was. What if she thought I really was using her?”

  
“You’ve known that was a problem for a while. It’s bothered you and her both. Didn’t you ever talk to her about it? Clear the air?”

  
She shook her head. “Ann was going through stuff already. I didn’t…”

  
“You can’t blame yourself either. None of us can sit here and say this is our fault.” Linae pressed. “She just as easily could have overheard something I said on the phone last week and let that eat at her. But I won’t say it’s my fault. It’s no one’s fault.”

  
It was the same thing the PA had said in the hospital. But it was so easy to think back on everything he had said and done and blame her state of mind, her action, on himself. Renee furrowed her brow. “Last week… as in when you left to take a call at Ann’s last week?”

  
Linae nodded. “When I told my friend who I was spending the day with… they may have gotten excited and asked me to get an autograph. And knowing how Ann is I may have told that person that Ann and I aren’t friends.”

  
A cold pit formed in Grillby’s stomach. “Jesus. Ann’s worst fear is being unwanted. After the whole thing with her Dad and now us three saying stupid shit…” Grillby sighed and let his head fall back on Linae’s shoulder.

  
She began to pet his back once more. “Ann will be okay Grillby. And when she’s discharged we can all sit down with her and explain and figure out how we can do better. There is a terrible lack of communication going on. That’s what led to this. Understand?”

  
Grillby nodded and even accepted a hug from Renee. He would feel better when he saw Ann again. Renee had work later in the day and left so she could do a few things before getting ready. Linae sat beside him, a calm quiet between them as they stared out over the lake in the middle of the park. Understandably, Grillby is uncomfortable around bodies of water. Even the dish sink at the bar makes him tense. But there was something about the rolling waves the wind created on the lakes surface that soothed him.

  
Maybe he would bring Ann here.

  
Every so often she would ask him a question or make an observation. But for the most part they sat there for a few hours just meditating. Linae finally got him up with the insistence he needed to eat. Grillby was so far from hungry… But he ordered a coffee and a bagel to appease her when they sat at the diner. “Grillby, talk to me sweetie.” She finally said, hand covering his.

  
What was he supposed to say? That despite the PA and her both telling him not to he still blamed his idiotic self for Ann’s attempted suicide? That he, despite everything, still couldn’t show the world his joy at having his soulmate by his side? That he had unexpectedly and profusely fallen for his soulmate, the person he claimed for over two thousand years he would never accept in his life?

  
Grillby’s flames popped. Fallen… He had fallen for Ann. It was more than the friendship they had agreed to and more than the simple affection he had believed it to be before. He was in love with Anerin Foster, his soulmate and the most surprising and persistent person he had ever known. Grillby dropped his head into his hands and took in a shuddering breath. “I keep seeing her… on the ground. She was so pale, Lin. I knew she was dying. I felt it. I saw the world turning grey around me. But if I’m honest, that never really went away. The world still feels so hollow right now. And I can’t help but blame myself! I’ve been the worst soulmate. And I almost lost her because of my fucking pride and indescision!”

  
Linae watched her oldest and dearest friend crumble before her. Never in the years they had known each other had she seen Grillby this emotional. In fact, she had seen such a remarkable change in him since meeting Ann. The situation that led him to this point was horrible and she wouldn’t wish it on her worst enemy. But the change was good. He was growing as a monster and as a partner. Linae sat back and took a sip of her coffee. “Yeah, I won’t lie, you’ve been pretty terrible.” He flinched. “But at least you acknowledge it. Which means you can grow from it.” When Grillby looked up she gave him her best smile. “This isn’t the end. So stop treating it like it is.”

  
This isn’t… huh. Well… Linae had a point he supposed. They stayed at the diner longer than was socially acceptable, but their waitress seemed to sense they were having a bad day and simply refilled their coffee’s. When they finally did leave he made sure there was a hefty tip on the table for her. Before he went home, Grillby wanted to head back to the hospital to make sure there was nothing Ann wanted or needed. He knew they wouldn’t discharge her that day.

  
Linae offered to go with him, patting his arm in a cheerful way. The hospital was half a block away and one of the biggest buildings in the city. He went to the ER desk where he had been before. The nurse at the desk looked up and smiled. She had been there earlier too and been a decent support when he had begun to pace before passing out. “Hi there, stranger! Want the update on your girl?”

  
“And to see her if I can.”

  
She beamed. “Let me ask the doctor in charge of her and I’ll be right back.”

  
Linae smirked up at him. “See. Everything is going to be fine, Grilbz.”

  
It took a few minutes. The waiting was torture since the only thing he really wanted was to see Ann. He wanted to hold her hand again and be the pillar Linae was being for him. When the nurse came back though… she was no longer smiling. A harsh sense of dread filled his soul. “I’m sorry sweetie. But Miss Foster had voluntarily committed herself. She was moved to the psychiatric ward an hour ago.” She bit her lip and Grillby felt like the words were shouted from far away, but so strong he almost dropped to the ground. “And she had requested no visitors.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, a second chapter. I might do doubles next week as well depending on how much I can write the rest of the week. Schools done until June so I think I could make it happen.

Cold and unnatural silence crashed against Grillby at the words. Voluntary commitment? No visitors? Ann had made it so that Grillby and everyone else who had hurt her could no longer reach her. And for as long as she wanted. Grillby felt numb. His vision blurred slightly and he felt like he was floating on thin air. Why? He understood why she would commit herself, realizing she needed help and seeking it out. It was the no visitors that swam around in his head like an angry beast.

  
Linae tugged on his arm and called his name but he didn’t move. He couldn’t. It wasn’t until a hard zap of electricity shot through his arm that the world came back into focus. Linae looked terrified, static bolts of blue electric magic zipping between her fingers still. Grillby hadn’t seen her use her magic since coming to the surface… “Grillby, you need to sit.”

  
Yes. Maybe he did need to sit down for a moment. He allowed Linae to lead him over to the row of waiting seats and guide him into one. His head was instantly in his hands. The bond was so eerily quiet and vacant. What he wouldn’t give for a single hit of some emotion, any emotion from it right then. It had been like this since the last blast of that hopeless feeling when he found she had heard his every word at the party.

  
What if he messed up so badly something was wrong with their bond? What if Ann had figured out how to block him from feeling her? What if her soul was so sick… Grillby felt his stomach turn and was glad he hadn’t actually eaten the bagel at the diner. The what ifs swirled around and around until another zap brought him back. Grillby hissed. “Would you stop that?!”

  
“Would you stop going out in places and scaring the hell out of me then?” Linae countered. He… was going out? Grillby held out his arms and noticed just how low his flames were in certain patches. He could almost see the solid body beneath them. One should never see an elementals solid form… But even with his attention brought to it he couldn’t make the flames raise or burn any brighter. The last time he had been in such a state he had been on the battlefield, cradling his best friend as he slowly dusted.

  
Grillby sighed long and loud before stumbling to his feet. He needed to be alone for a little while. But Linae stopped him before he could get very far. “I’m going home, Lin.” He tried to assure her.

  
“Yeah, do you blame me for not believing you?” She asked, all four hands resting on her hips.

  
Damn it, woman. “For fucks sake, let me be alone for a while.”

  
“That’s the last thing you should be doing right now. Just like Ann, you need the support of your friends right now.”

  
“And just like Ann, I’m refusing! Back off!” He growled, anger and irritation flooding his soul. Something warm and soft soothed it away though. Like a gentle voice calming him. He could have sworn he smelled new book and cinnamon… Tears filled Linae’s eyes and he instantly regretted yelling at her. He sighed. “Lin-.”

  
“Don’t. You want to be alone, fine.” She turned and stormed off through the doors of the emergency room.

  
God fucking damn it… Grillby really had a way with women, didn’t he… Not wanting to linger any longer he followed soon after and left the room. The sun was too bright and the people out on the street were just too damn cheerful at the moment. He walked as fast as his long legs allowed and nearly collapsed in relief when he pushed open the door of his apartment.

  
He was still in his nice clothes from the party. It honestly felt disgusting to pull them off, like a week's worth of events had happened since putting them on. Maybe because it had. Free of the stiff clothing he flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. You really did it this time, Grillby, he chastised in his mind. His soulmate was in the hospital and refusing to see anyone, and now his best friend was upset with him. And he couldn’t blame either.

  
On some note, he supposed he still had Renee… if he got desperate enough. But she wasn’t the best to go too when one needed a comforting shoulder. To go to for gassing up and make a few bad decisions, hell yeah. She could bring life back into any soul. But she didn’t do calm. Grillby sighed and put an arm over his eyes. What was he supposed to do now?

Despite knowing Ann had requested no visitors, Grillby returned to the hospital the next day. He entered the psychiatric ward and asked to see her, only to be told to sit and wait. The nurse typed something into her computer and frowned before pulling another nurse aside and whispering something, eyes flashing in his direction. The other nurse shrugged and made her way to him. “I’m sorry sir, Miss Foster had requested no visitors.”

  
“Would you ask her anyway? Tell her it’s Grillby.” The nurse sighed at his persistence and walked off with a muttered ‘fine’. He waited quite awhile, watching other hospital personnel and guests wander about. Ann had once mentioned she got her inspiration by watching other people, listening to them speak. And if she didn’t understand something, she read about it, took in the feelings from the words.

  
He realized he still never started reading ‘Feathers of White’. He sighed and leaned back in the chair. Where even was the copy she had given him? He remembered putting it in his pocket before leaving her apartment that day… Grillby’s hand slid down the side of his jacket and felt the distinct shape of a book there. No way…

  
The cover was dark besides the stark white of angels' wings and floating feathers. The side back profile of a woman with black as night hair stood slouched at the side of the cover, the wings protruding from her back. He guessed it was an artist depiction of one of the book's main characters, Micha, considering the end of the last book. Grillby opened the front cover and stopped. Written in familiar handwriting was a short note, addressed to him.

  
 _‘Thank you for your help. You really are the best soulmate and friend I could have asked for.’_ Ann Foster was signed just beneath it. His soul clenched and throat tightened at the words. Could they ever be like that again? It really wasn’t that long ago they were sitting at her table, eating dinner and chatting like old friends. She had opened up about her fears and feelings and asked about Renee and Linae.

  
It felt like months had passed since then. But it had only been a few weeks. He turned the page and read the dedication. _‘To new friends. May we face the world with new hope each day.’_

  
Grillby started chapter one and felt some of his tension ease as the cliffhanger of the second book was settled. The opening was gripping and he found himself hooked in the first page. That was a common occurrence with Ann’s work though. She really knew how to pull an audience. The nurse returned around page three and shook her head. “Miss Foster refused the visit. I’m sorry.” Grillby knew it was a long shot, but he needed to try anyway. He closed the book and stood, only to be stopped by the nurse. “Did you just start reading it?” She asked, eyes gleaming as she glanced down at the book.

  
Grillby nodded. “I cried so hard. There’s a beautiful scene with Ceren and the sisters and, oh, the speech Aurora gives Micha.” She swooned and pressed her hands to her cheeks. He had to actively stop himself from snorting. “If you come back to visit her, tell me what you think of it. I finished it the day I got it.”

  
That was a surprising statement considering how much longer this book was compared to the others. But he had to admire that dedication. Grillby flashed her a grateful smile and left the hospital. However, he did return the next day, once again asking to see his soulmate. He was able to read all of chapter two before the nurse returned to once again inform him she was refusing. The third day was much of the same.

  
Grillby went back everyday before work and asked to see her. Every day he sat and read a little more in her book. Every day they shook their heads with expressions of pity. The fifth day, Grillby read as he waited. But something in the book jumped out at him. It was a scene the nurse had mentioned before, between Ceren and the sisters, Micha and Lilliae.

  
_It wasn’t often Micha felt the need to sit and pamper herself with others, but with the way she had seen others treating Ceren she figured a little alone time would be beneficial. Lilliae was all for it of course and jumped at the opportunity to spend extra time with her new found friend. The castle's bathing room was empty during the daytime. It gave them some peace to know they wouldn’t be bothered while in there as well._

  
_The bath was filled with steaming water and the air smelled of lemon and sage. It was just like the first day Micha and Lilliae had found themselves in Ardund. Lilliae took the first soak while Micha and Ceren enjoyed the steam and scrubbed at their nails. “I get that, but he is just so serious. All the time. It is a little unnerving.” Ceren gabbed._

  
_“Lial is such a pushover.” Micha answered._

  
_“He hasn’t been mean to you, has he?” Lilliae asked, arms dangling from the side of the tub._

  
_Ceren flushed. “Well… no. He actually gave me a fruit tart yesterday, but he was practically scowling! Who gives another person a pastry while scowling?!”_

  
_Both sisters burst into laughter as they imagined the scene. “Yep. Sounds like Lial!” Micha chuckled._

  
_“If you have any problems with him, just talk to Finley. He’ll help you out.”_

  
_Ceren eyed Lilliae as she sat back in the tub. “That is another that scares the ever living hell out of me.”_

  
_Micha snorted and nearly choked on the strawberry she had just taken a bite of. After a few hard slaps to the back she was able to look up with watery eyes and red cheeks. “Finley? The dimwit king wrapped around Lili’s finger? The literal definition of gentle giant, that scares you?”_

  
_“He’s not wrapped around my finger…” The younger sister pouted, slipping deeper into the water._

  
_“Even I have seen the way his gaze lingers on you, little princess. Honestly the first time I saw him pull you away I thought he would crush you he is so much larger than you.”_   
_There was a gentle warmth that filled the youngest in the room. A warmth that had nothing to do with the bath. Lilliae smiled softly as she cupped the water and watched it slowly spill back into the tub. “Finley wouldn’t hurt me. Not even by accident, he’s so infuriatingly careful.” The ripples in the water took the strands of her black hair and waved them along as well. “He’s always there when I need him and knows just what to say to make me smile… I don’t… I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t been there when we learned about Adaia..”_

  
_Ceren never once took her eyes off the woman who had been her mistress for a brief time and enemy even briefer. Never once had she believed Lilliae could accomplish all she had said that day in the market, yet here she herself sat. A free mage in a land that still considered them a danger and threat. All because of one sympathetic and love sick king. All because of one remarkable and brave woman. “You really love him, don’t you.”_

  
“Sorry, Grillby.” He snapped his head up, reality slapping him hard in the face. The nurse he now knew as Rose gave him her standard pitying gaze. It meant Ann had refused to see him again. He sighed and pushed himself up, closing his eyes as a dizzy spell took him. It had been… difficult to sleep the last few days and food held no appeal. It was starting to take its toll on Grillby. Once it passed, he nodded to Rose and turned to leave. “Wait a moment. She did ask if you would bring her something tomorrow.” Grillby stopped and turned, the tiniest spark of hope filling his chest. “She wants her favorite cardigan from home. Said it would be in the living room.”

  
He nodded again and stuffed his hands and the book in his jacket pocket. A favor. It was the literal first piece of anything he had gotten from her in the five days she had been here. He had the day off and praised whatever higher power there was she had asked that day. His mind had been a black hole of what ifs and remnants of nightmares. Grillby still was having trouble igniting his flames in certain places.

  
Renee had cried herself sick when she had seen him at work like that. It was… hard for him to see, especially since her eyes were already red and swollen. Linae had told her what happened with Ann and where she was. For the time being, she was keeping her distance from the hospital, leaving the possibility of seeing Ann to him. But he knew she was having trouble sleeping just like he was.

  
Visiting hours at the hospital were short, so he knew he wouldn’t be able to get the sweater to her until the next day. It gave him time to stop at a coffee shop for a bit, try to perk his flames up if even a fraction. It had been a while since he last stopped in to bother Muffett. Maybe the interaction would lift his soul. The bell above the door chimed as he walked in and the one and only muffett turned to greet him. A sneer spread and her small mouth opened, most likely to insult him, but as he approached her eyes grew wide and skin paled.

  
“What… what the hell happened to you?” He knew she meant it to be a slap, but the quaver in her voice and the worried tone gave away her surprise.

  
“Was that supposed to hurt?” Grillby raised a brow.

  
She pressed her lips in a thin line, only her two small fangs breaking up the tight press. “Look, we’re not friends. But you look like you really need help.”

  
He shook his head and put a five on the counter. “You can help by getting me my regular.”

  
For a moment it seemed that Muffett might insist. But then she simply took the money and turned to fill a cup. The horrible patter of raindrops on the awning outside made Grillby whip around and groan. God damn it, now he was stuck here until the rain quit. Muttering obscenities, He took the coffee Muffett handed him and took one of the small tables near the window. Normally, Grillby might pull up the collar of his jacket and make a break for it. But with his flames already sitting so low…

  
He took a small sip and instantly felt a warm spark in soul. The possibility of murder had just been halved in that one drink. With time to kill now, Grillby decided to pull out the book and read a little more. The story’s progression was coming to an obvious end as small loose ends were being tied up and the feeling of something big about to happen grew with each page. The rain was relentless.

  
Muffett passed by every so often and left a fresh coffee on his table. Yet she never asked for a payment. She was being weird, but he couldn’t blame her. They weren’t friends. They had been rivels and fought constantly while underground. But… that didn’t mean they necessarily hated each other either. Hell, Grillby missed the days he could pass her on the street and fuck with her, watching as she fought against a smile at his more clever insults.

  
She had made him laugh a few times as well.

  
Grillby focused on the book as he tried to ignore the now torrential downpour. Tensions were mounting as the Queen of the mages readied a last attack on the kingdom of Ardund. He knew that feeling of anticipation, never quite knowing when the enemy would attack, always being ready. The tender moments made the atmosphere feel real to him. Everyone always tries to play times of war as nothing more than fighting and death and sadness. But he knew. Even in the middle of war you can find yourself smiling and joking. You can find yourself affirming your affections.

  
_The full moon shined through her black strands, more beautiful than any painting. Even in the beginning Aurora had never denied Micha’s beauty. But now, with the shimmer of light behind her, reminiscent of an angel’s halo, she wondered how she had ever once believed this woman to be a threat. Her love. Her soulmate. The back of her fingers gently caressed Micha’s cheek, catching a stray tear._

  
_“My love…” She sighed and met her eyes. “I cannot say sorry enough. This doubt, this whole argument is my fault.” Aurora gently pulled Micha into her chest, running a hand down her silken hair. “I was never keen on the idea of soulmates. It felt like… like some unseen force was taking away my right to choose. But you… Micha I did choose you.”_

  
_She pulled back enough to meet her gaze. “But fate-”_

  
_“Fate has nothing to do with how I feel about you.” The earnest and confident expression she leveled at her was enough to take her breath away. “I fell in love with you because of you. Because you infuriate me, because you challenge me. Because you could have taken the opportunity to let Finley remove me from my position but you did not. You insisted on proving that we could work together. You insisted on helping me. You are an unbelievable strength and source of inspiration to me now, Micha. And fate’s only hand in that was bringing us to meet that day in the forest. Fate has nothing to do with how I came to admire you. Fate has nothing to do with how much I want to kiss you right now.”_

  
_Micha’s tears flowed in earnest at Aurora’s words. How could she have ever doubted her? She felt like the biggest fool on the planet. Her hands tenderly cupped Aurora’s cheeks and guided her down, pressing the most passionate kiss to her lips that she could muster in her emotional state. “I love you. I love you, I’m so sorry, Rory.”_

  
A black drip splattered on the corner of the page, breaking him from his concentration. What the hell was that? Another hit the table and Grillby looked up. But nothing was on the ceiling or above him. His vision blurred and he touched his face, finding the black substance on his fingers. Muffett walked by with another coffee and stopped when she caught sight of his face. “Grillby, are you… are you crying?”

  
Was he? Fire elementals can’t cry though, for obvious reasons. Yet something was streaming down his face in torrents, like the rain off the awning outside. It was thick and black. Like… oil. His eyes burned slightly as more of these tears fell. Fate has nothing to do with how I feel about you. Those words stabbed into his soul and settled. Of course fate had nothing to do with it. Soulmates are destined to meet. They are destined to have a certain chemistry. But they aren’t destined to love.

  
He had been so focused on what everyone else thought of them and on their soulmate bond that he couldn’t just be happy that he loved her. Grillby had wanted to tell her, he had wanted to lay it out for Ann and possibly start something new only to let others' opinions drive him away. He did this. He let everyone’s happy words influence him and he couldn’t imagine the amount of pain he had caused his soulmate.

  
A choked sound fought its way out of him as he curled into himself, those black tears pouring down his face. Grillby couldn’t stop the way his shoulder shook and how his breath shuddered. Muffett cursed and moved away, locking the door and pressing the automatic button for the blinds to drop. Grillby didn’t have the strength to even be surprised when all six of her arms wrapped around him and held him gently.

Never in the underground could this have happened. Had Grillby broken down like this there he would have met a swift end by someone taking the opportunity to gain a little bragging right, a little fear from those around them. Muffett included. But the surface had changed monster kind. Now... now he could show his emotions without the fear of death or blackmail. So he did.

  
He cried and cried, allowing himself the comfort of Muffett rocking him back and forth slowly. The whole time she simply held him, one hand cupping the back of his head and another making soothing circles on his back. Even once his cries had quieted they stayed like this. At one point, Grillby had realized the rain had stopped. Finally, Muffett pulled away and met Grillby’s tired gaze. “Will you tell what happened now?”

  
He did. Starting from meeting Ann, through their first few days, to discovering her true identity. He told her about his thoughts and feelings, how every day he came to tolerate her just that little bit more. Muffett was quiet the whole time, dutifully nodding here and there. Grillby told her about Linae’s advice and meeting her mother, their date at the museum that ended horribly. He told her all about the last two weeks, Ann’s depression and his withdrawal all the way to current events.

  
It was quiet. Muffett watched him with a careful eye and finally sat back, letting out a long breath. “Wow. Okay, that’s… Wow.” Grillby nodded. “So what are you going to do?” ...do? “You know. To prove it.”

  
Oh. He had thought about that. But what exactly could he do? Grillby doubted Ann would believe his words. But that was really all he had. She wasn’t big on gifts… Not material ones at least. Muffett patted his arm and stood. “Look, go home. Get some rest and think about something that maybe she really really wants. Something she likes or wants to know more about. You can try small acts to at least loosen her up, right?”

  
Yeah… he could do that. With a nod and words of thanks, Grillby left the coffee shop feeling better than he had in awhile. He still needed to run by Ann’s and get that sweater. Grillby was grateful for the key she had given him a while back considering the key system had been finally fixed. Her apartment was exactly the same as it had been two weeks ago, only now with a fine layer of dust. The sweater was a sage green open thing he had seen her wear often. It had deep pockets and he had once commented on it when she pulled a whole bottle of mango vodka from it.

  
If only he had something like that during the war. He could have kept so much monster candy handy. … The war. Ann was interested in the war. He recalled the way her eyes shined when she learned he had first hand experience with it and how she begged to see his armor and hear the stories. They had never gotten around to exchanging stories. Nor had she ever come by to see the armor.

  
That was something he could give her! Grillby pulled open one of the cloth bins under her coffee table and pulled out a pen and notebook. She had several tucked away all around the apartment. Grillby took a deep breath and carefully began to write.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya know how I said I might give another double update depending on how much writing I got done? Here's part 1 of the double update.

Warmth. It was gentle and penetrated Ann’s chilled skin slowly. Her eyes sat closed as she took measured and deep breaths. It felt nice. The sunshine through the window was just enough to keep her warm as she sat in front of it. Quiet. She blocked out the sounds of the hospital just outside her small room and enjoyed the gentle quiet of her own mind. Simple meditation had been doing amazing things for her since her therapist suggested it.

  
A lot of what the therapist had said was doing amazing things for her. The doctor had changed her medication as well, something that would battle the voice she heard as well. The other Ann had been quiet. For once. Her eyes fluttered open and met the cool blue and soft clouds of the sky. It looked like a nice day. Ann wondered briefly how everyone was doing…

  
The doctor had asked her if anything had happened, if something had set her off. Did she understand what she was doing when she swallowed those pills? What were her thoughts at the time? Had she even been thinking? Lots of questions in that simple manner. Honestly, she hadn’t been trying to kill herself. She just didn’t want the darkness to swallow her. So she swallowed it instead.

  
She had told him about the trouble with her mother, growing up in foster care, the recent run-in with her estranged father, her feelings and fears of being unwanted. He had seemed particularly interested when she explained the overheard phone call with Linae, something she heard Renee say at the party, and then… Grillby. In the six days Ann had been there, she was amazed at how she felt.

  
It wasn’t perfect. Her doctor told her she would never fully lose those fears and feelings. But that was okay. She was learning how to better communicate, how to handle her depression and anxiety, how to stand up for herself. It was… slow. But she felt better just knowing she was learning how. A prickle of hope and worry pushed her from her meditation. Grillby? She had been getting these feelings ever since admitting herself to the psychiatric ward.

  
A knock at the door had her turn to see her favorite nurse, Rose. Ann’s eyes instantly flew to the green cardigan draped over her arm. “He brought it…” She said tenderly, expression softening.

  
“He’s still in the waiting room. Does today feel like the day?”

  
Everyday he had come, hoping to see her. Despite her no visitors request he had still persisted. It wasn’t that Ann didn’t want to see him. In fact, Grillby was constantly on her mind. It hadn’t been a dream… All of those things, those beautiful, wonderful things he had said the day of the party hadn’t been a dream. Through her hazy memory she remembered it. When she woke up in the hospital to the same words, she knew.

  
Grillby wanted her. He wanted to be in her life, he wanted to be around her, to be her friend. It had made her immeasurably happy to realize that. But… it hadn’t been enough. Knowing that Grillby cared for her wasn’t nearly enough to chase the darkness away, to silence the voice in her head. Ann needed to be able to be okay without him. When she felt she was able to face him again and not break… she would accept.

  
But that was not now. Ann shook her head and took the cardigan, pulling it on. “Not today. Will you tell him I said thank you? And… it’s okay.”

  
Rose nodded with a small smile and headed back down the hallway. However, she wasn’t alone for long. Ann had made a sort of friend in the days she spent at the hospital. A young woman named Tasi who, much like herself, had voluntarily committed after a failed suicide attempt. Her silky black curls bounced as she skipped to her doorway. “Hey, starting a game of bullshit before group sess. You in?”

  
Tasi was a curvaceous woman of middle eastern dissent with the sexiest accent. Her demeanor didn’t seem like it would fit with the atmosphere of the hospital, but Ann had been surprised at just how many patients here just seemed happy and okay. They laughed, cried out in false disdain while playing cards, told jokes. In the six days she had been there, four times she stood with a group and cheered as loudly and obnoxiously as possible as someone from their ward was discharged.

  
Ann smiled. “Sure. Uh… can I just call out liar again?”

  
Tasi threw back her head and laughed as they made their way to the common room. “Call out whatever you want sweetheart.”

  
The days had gone pretty much the same. Ann would wake up, eat breakfast, attend her morning session with the therapist. Then she would get the news Grillby was there to see her. After that was free time, when she would meditate for a few minutes and visit with Tasi and a few other patients. Group session came after that and then late lunch. She would see her doctor again later in the day to see how the medication was affecting her and if she was sleeping well. Free time, dinner, showers, bed.

  
It had never deviated. But a few rounds of cards later, a very confused Rose pulled her aside. “Someone named Jackson Ray is here to see you?”

  
Jackson Ray? She didn’t know any Jackson’s… Though the surname Ray did niggle something in the back of her mind. Ann shook her head. “I don’t know him.”

  
“He was… insistent. Looked really worried too.”

  
Huh. “I guess tell him the same thing you told Grillby? I’m going to be okay.” Rose nodded and walked off. At this point it was time for group session. Ann took a seat next to Tasi in the circle and told her about the mystery visitor.

  
Group session was oddly helpful. True peers, one’s who had the issues she did and lived some of the experiences she had validated her feelings and gave her advice, sharing similar stories. Today was a fun session. Kori, a tall blonde with severe anxiety and childhood trauma opened the session with a story about living with her alcoholic mother. The therapist went around asking if anyone had a similar story or something to say.

  
There was a lot of jeering, calls to ‘fuck that bitch’, mimed baseball bat swings. The next two didn’t have stories to follow, claiming a decent mother for the first and an absentee one for the second. “Yeah, I got a story.” Tasi grinned, leaning forward on her knees. She told the story with all the fanfare one would expect from her, getting plenty of laughs and boos. “And so she picks me up two hours later and starts flappin her gums at me, like it’s my fault she left me at the store. She did this all. The. Time. Somehow it was always my fault and I got punished for her bullshit.” Several in the group booed. “Thank you!”

  
When the group quieted, the therapist urged Ann to speak. It still made her nervous to have the attention of the room, but she was getting better at handling it. Her heart sped up, but it didn’t hurt like normal. “Well, actually my mom was a drug addict. Still is. I was taken away when I was… ten? She didn’t seem very… you know, torn up about it. I didn’t hear from her until my second book was published. She came to my apartment in tears, a mess, asking for help.” It had been a cloudy day, cool, but not chilly. Ann had just gotten back from the store when the pathetic woman stumbled up to her.

  
Ann thumbed the edge of her cardigan. “She was so pale and skinny. Which I know is just from the drugs. But I felt bad for her. I asked her when the last time had eaten was and invited her inside.”

  
A few scoffs and disdainful no’s went around. “What bullshittery?” Tasi asked, giving her a side eye.

  
“I… I learned my lesson. At the time I didn’t have any money to give her, but I made her a sandwich and sent her off. Two days later these big scary looking guys cornered me when I was leaving, saying I had their money. My mom had given her dealers my name and address, hoping I would pay them off. Lucky me, my neighbor at the time was ex-military and came out to help. I moved, but she found me again. Still pops up sometimes to ask for help.” It wasn’t the whole story. Far from it. But Ann wasn’t ready to get into that particular part of the story. It was a sore topic with her therapist as well.

  
“This bitch still comes for you?” Ann nodded. “Oh hell no!” Fran cried. “Look, next time this bitch comes around asking for bullshit, you just go ‘Oh, yeah, of course. Just let me-’” She reached behind her like she was going for something in her pocket and then produced a proud and tall middle finger. The room dissolved into laughter, and even Ann managed a laugh. She would never be able to do that, but it was comforting nonetheless.

  
Ann put her hands in her cardigan pockets as the discussion continued and froze. A square pack of paper sat folded in one of the pockets. She carefully pulled it out just far enough to see it. Her name was scratched on it in very familiar handwriting. Oh. Oh wow. Grillby wrote something for her. Smuggled it in for her. Her heart raced, the thundering drowning out the voices in the room. She needed to read it. She… had to get out of there. Ann stood and took a deep breath. “Sorry, I… I don’t… I’m going to my room.”

  
No one tried to stop her, too stunned at her hasty exit. Once the door was closed and she was settled on the edge of the bed, Ann opened the folded bundle. Three full pages sat with Grillby’s scratchy handwriting. She missed him. She was still understandably upset and they would need a long, long talk when she finally left the hospital, but she missed his warmth, his voice, his grumpy face.

  
Ann took a deep breath and flattened the pages to read.

  
_I was the captain of the north squad. There were many of my fellow elemental monsters there, all fighting for their freedom, for their right to basic respect and the right to live. That’s what the war was really about in the end. Both races had their views, and both races had those who believed the other to be inferior. However, it stopped feeling like a justified war after awhile. It turned into a cock battle in the end, both leaders falling without a care for those giving their lives in the fight._

  
Ann pressed a hand to her mouth. Oh God. It was an autobiography of his time in the war! She had begged him for stories almost three weeks prior during their date! He never forgot… She sat back and settled in deep for the whole story.

  
_Fetic and I had grown up together, so finding him in my squad had been like gyftmas morning. Not every day was full of fighting and death. There were many days we simply spent training, scouting, and drinking. Fetic was a terrible drinker who always managed to get into a drinking contest with Dander, the most alcohol tolerant bastard I had ever met in my life._

  
_One day, while nearly carrying my blind drunk friend back to his tent, I asked him why he always did that. He looked up at me, his fox eyes lidded with both intoxication and affection. “Grillby.” He said. “I never told you because we wanted to keep it on the down low. Dander and I are soulmates.”_

  
_I was stunned. While I had my own thoughts on soulmates and especially how I would one day handle my own, I often kept them quiet. Being happy for my friends was easier. And it was one of few things to be happy about in those days._

  
_The worst battle I had ever been a part of was just three days before the end of the war. The humans had mages who had been getting increasingly creative with their attacks. This battle was the beginning of the end. The mages had figured how to imbue certain weapons with their magic, giving them a hard upper hand. Monsters were far fewer than humans, but with such strong magic on our side, we tended to be stronger one to five. Now… we began to lose ground._

  
Ann read through dinner, often re-reading certain passages about battles and descriptions of locations and camps. The evolving story of his friend, Fetic was actually kind of hilarious. He was a monster with fox-like features and magic that helped him to run fast and hide himself and others. But he was a dunce when it came to emotions and expressing interest in his soulmate, Dander, a chalky white monster who could cause adverse reactions in his enemies.

  
_Grillby became an unwitting wingman for his pitiful friend. Unknowingly, with only three days left in the war, he helped them find solid ground in their relationship. Ann giggled wildly as the awkwardness of a certain situation washed over her. She turned the last page over as they had a wonderfully cute and romantic moment, slightly ruined by Grillby’s commentary. The back of the last page was covered in what seemed to be the description of the final battle of the war._

  
_Not even I could see anything through the smoke. What was burning? The grass had been burned away from the field long before and I was the last of the fire elementals left in my squad. Yet the field was shrouded in thick, black smoke. Fetic backed towards me on my left, Dander swept the area on my right. It was quiet._

  
_Something whistled through the air and Dander cried out. The next thing we saw was an entire squadron of human warriors, wielding staffs of ice and shields that emanated a sonic boom when hit. It appeared a few mages had been inspired by my own sword as several walked around with flaming blades. They descended and though I was able to take out many, my squad was halved rather quickly. Our numbers had already taken a hit in the past few days which left us overwhelmed easily._

  
_We were surrounded. Dust filled the air as more and more of my counterparts fell. I had to make a decision. Fetic was furiously fending off soldiers as he protected a wounded Dander. His staff easily cut down three in rapid succession. I still remember the way his top lip curled on his muzzle, showing off his sharp teeth. I made my way to him, taking care of a few solders on the way._

  
_“Fetic.” I said, keeping my volume just loud enough for only him to hear. “Grab Dander. Cloak and dagger without the dagger.”_

  
_He gave me a surprised look, but understanding filled his eyes as he finally noticed the situation of the battle. We had to retreat. The Queen might want us to fight until the death, but I was getting them out of there at least. Fetic reached down to grab Dander as I defended. His magic covered us, camouflaging us and zipping us to the thicket on the other side of the field. We stayed crouched, watching with heavy hearts as the humans destroyed every last one of our squad-mates._

  
_We had to be quiet, but Dander wasn’t handling his injury well. A long arrow sat embedded in his chest. Fetic took in a sharp breath as he held Dander tighter. “No.” I remember his whimper perfectly to this day._

  
_Unaware of what was happening, I could only watch as my friend cried mute tears, silently begging his soulmate for something. Dander’s hand rose to cup Fetic’s cheek and that’s when I noticed it. His body was dusting. Dander was dying. My friend shook his head over and over, biting his lip to keep from crying out. Dander smiled one last time. “I love you.” His dust settled on the ground and across Fetic’s lap._

  
_I watched as Fetic’s face changed. It was like all joy, all sadness, all emotion of every kind was just erased from him. His shoulders slackened and his head fell forward. There was no drive in him, no life. The battle before us was coming to a close and I grabbed his shoulders. “Fetic, we need to leave. We need to leave now.”_

  
_But he didn’t answer. He didn’t even look up. It was in that moment that I realized what my parents had said was true. Soulmates are life mates. When one dies… so does the other…_

  
Ann threw down the page in horrified shock as her hands flew to cover her mouth. What? No. No no no, that can’t be right. Nothing like that was ever mentioned in health class. But monsters were different… They were closer to their souls. Ann clambered from her bed and out to the hall. In the room next to hers was one of two monsters in the ward. She knocked on the door and waited until Lyka, a wolf type monster, opened the door.

  
Her eyes were heavy, tired. But not the kind of tired that can be fixed with sleep. “Ann? Are you alright?”

  
“Can I ask you a question?”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the healing begins! The long awaited reunion everyone!

Grillby got the call exactly two weeks and three days after Ann had been admitted. She and her doctor agreed that she was doing well enough to be discharged and they needed someone to be there to walk her home. He was her emergency contact, but they had apparently been attempting to call a few members or her family listed elsewhere in vain. Good. The farther they are away from her the better.

  
Once again in some great fortune it was his day off when this glorious moment occurred. He kept it to himself though, wanting to make sure Ann was okay with seeing everyone before telling them she was being discharged. For the first time since all of this began, his soul was bursting with hope and anticipation. Rose beamed at him when he entered the lobby of the psych ward.

  
“She’ll be down in a moment. The doctor is just signing some last minute paperwork for her.”

  
A smile. He could feel it on his face. Grillby had continued to write down his experiences from the war and would smile when he thought about Ann’s expressions as she read them. Only the one story had made it in to her, but he wanted to have a few more ready. They hadn’t sat and discussed a book in quite some time. He wondered if she would ask questions, want to hear more details.

  
The war might not be his favorite subject, but he could talk about it. Of course, Grillby wouldn’t go and give a stranger a run down of the events from his perspective, but someone he was close to or had asked, sure. He remembered the shiver that had run through him when he saw the human army armor on display at the museum. Some things don’t go away, that’s for damn sure.

  
There was a flash down the hall that caught his attention. Oh. There she was… Ann stood at a doorway down the hall, wearing the same clothes he had found her in that night, brown hair pulled up. There was color in her cheeks. A hard pull of desire made his soul feel heavy as he stood there in awe, waiting for her to turn, to come out to him. An older man stepped out into the hallway with her and shook her hand, a smile on both of their faces before he handed her a pack of papers and motioned her down the hall.

  
The moment Ann’s eyes met his it was like no one else existed. A large grin broke across her face, crinkling the corners of her eyes, and she ran to him. She ran straight into his waiting and eager arms. Every little piece of tension that Grillby had been holding onto, all of the fear and worry, melted away as the smell of cinnamon and new book washed over him and her soft hair tangled in his fingers. Ann physically sagged against him, like she felt the same release of tension he had.

  
She pulled back to look at him. “I missed you.” That beautiful sound. How had he ever thought her voice shrill? It was high, but it was so soft and musical.

  
Grillby carefully tucked her hair behind her ear. “I missed you too. Ready?”

  
She nodded eagerly and they left the ward hand in hand. Once outside, Ann took in the deepest breath of fresh air and sighed. “Happy?”

  
Ann opened her arms wide and tipped her head back as the sunshine hit her skin. “The windows don’t open for obvious reasons. I got used to the hospital smell, but this is best.”

  
The slight summer breeze lifted the wisps of hair that refused to stay bundled and pushed at his flames. “You look like you feel better.”

  
She knew he didn’t just mean from inside to outside. Her eyes drifted open as she gazed out into the wide blue sky. “I do… I think… Well, no, I know now, but, I should have gotten help a long time ago.” After everything she had been through, everything she had worked through with her doctor and the new diagnosis, she knew she had needed to seek help a long time ago. But the magic of mental illness is never knowing when exactly one needs help. Or when one does realize they need help, not having the motivation to seek it. Ann took Grillby’s hand again and smiled. “We have… a lot to talk about. Don’t we.”

  
Grillby nodded. “Walk through the park?”

  
They wandered across the street and into the busy park like it was any other day and they were any other couple. No one really paid them any special attention besides a few older people, scandalized to see a human woman with a monster. Grillby led her in the same direction Linae had taken him weeks before. The wind made gentle waves on the lake and they sat on a bench to watch the light on the ripples. Grillby and Linae still hadn’t talked since the day he yelled at her… Renee refused to mention the other until they made up themselves.

  
But he didn’t even know where to start with that. For now, he wanted to focus on working through the issues with Ann.

  
She watched the waves for a while, taking in the beauty of the world she had missed while recovering. There was a hefty list of things she wanted to discuss with not only Grillby but Linae and Renee as well. Honestly, she wondered how she was going to approach a few of them. But at the moment, she knew she wanted to start with the simplest. “Schizophrenia.” Ann muttered. Grillby turned on the bench to face her. She wouldn’t meet his eyes. “My new doctor ran a lot of tests, asked increasingly specific questions. He says I have Schizophrenia with auditory hallucinations and persecutory delusions.”

  
It was the first time she had explained the voice she often heard to Grillby. The other Ann who constantly reminded her that she was born unwanted and convinced her others only took an interest in her because of her success as an author. It was honestly the first time she had explained to him about her feelings that people only wanted to be her friend because of that. For years Ann had believed anyone who showed an interest in her was tricking her, lying to her for the perks of being friends with Anerin Foster.

  
Her new doctor had a hell of a time explaining to her that friends showing enthusiasm in her work was normal, indeed, customary. Even if they didn’t much care for it, most friends still put on a smile. As the new medicine worked into her system and the voice went away, she began to understand that better. “So… I’ve been treated for years for my depression, but it was only a symptom of… the real issue.”

  
Grillby nodded, taking everything in. “You have a problem with the diagnosis?” He asked, noticing her fidgeting and the crease of her brow.

  
“Not… not a problem. Just-.” She sighed. “It feels scary. Movies and everything have painted people with schizophrenia as these violent people who are nothing but trouble, but I’m not… I’m just not. So… when he said it, I had this heart in the stomach moment. I’m not violent. I don’t see things. I don’t think the whole world is out to get me. It took a lot of explaining of the different kinds of Schizophrenia and the symptoms for me to kind of understand.”

  
Okay, Grillby could get that. Though it did seem to be common for media and entertainment to paint all forms of mental illness in the worst light possible. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and leaned back to watch the waves again. “You are the farthest thing from violent and psychotic. Pretty sure I’ve compared you to a rabbit a few times.” Ann snorted. “And I know that Linae and Renee would say the same thing. You are you.”

  
She rested her head on his shoulder for a while. The quiet peace of the park and Ann’s body against his put Grillby at ease. But he knew he needed to break it. If they were ever going to move forward they had to talk about… that night. “Ann. We need to talk about what happened at the party. And… after.”

  
It was quiet a moment. No sound other than the wind in the leaves above them. Ann turned her face into his shoulder. “Did you mean it?” Her voice was quiet, timid.

  
He knew it was coming, but no amount of planning, no amount of pep talking, could ever prepare him for the real thing. His soul threw itself around in his chest and clenched tightly. “No… and yes. What I said… I was frustrated. Everyone had been pressuring me to take our relationship further and making comments and I was fed up. When I said that I wouldn’t be with you because everyone and the universe said so, I was telling the truth. Being soulmates does not mean we have to be together. It’s not fair to either of us if we are bullied into a relationship. But I was just upset when I said being your soulmate was a pain in the ass.”

  
“And after?” She asked, looking up into his eyes. “At the apartment. When you said you want me in your life?”

  
Hope. That beautiful feeling spread across their bond and remained. It bloomed and touched Grillby’s soul like someone finally doing something they had been holding back from. His hand cupped her cheek. “You did hear me.” He whispered, smiling. “Ann, I am well over two thousand years old. People have come and gone in my life that meant everything to me. But I have never wanted someone in my life, wanted to be a part of theirs, as much as I want you.”

  
Tears filled Ann's eyes behind her glasses and threatened to spill over. Grillby pulled her into his chest and kissed the top of her head. “I was a horrible friend, Ann. I knew you were hurting and I pulled away because of everyone’s nagging. God, I feel like I failed you.”

  
Ann’s head moved side to side against his chest, but he couldn’t tell if she was shaking her head no or trying to clear her face of tears. Instead of answering, she simply held onto him a little tighter and moved so her face was against his neck. They had come a long way. Grillby in particular had. The day they met he could never imagine he would be so happy and honored to be able to hold his soulmate like this. He never would have thought it possible to look into her damp eyes and think about how beautiful she was when she smiled.

  
But then she looked down. “Grillby, you didn’t fail me. Hurt me, yes. I honestly didn’t know what I was doing that night… when I…” She swallowed hard and met his gaze again. “I was hurt and the voice kept telling me all of these things to make it worse. And I’m really sorry that I scared you… and almost killed you too.” His soul shuddered to a stop and a strange chill flooded his body. Oh shit. He forgot he had never told her about that little fact about monster bonds. And he wrote about and gave her the story of Fetic and Dander! At his lower flickers she pressed on ahead quickly. “I read it and then I had to make sure, so I asked one of the other patient’s who’s a monster, and she explained that because monsters are so close to their souls and soulmates are a connection of the souls in a way that the death of a mate makes the soul just give up which eventually kills the other and that if I had died you would have too very shortly after and I kept-”

  
“Jesus Christ, Ann, stop.” Grillby urged, the panic filtering through their bond. She did stop. He had almost forgotten her tendency to ramble like that. “That’s on me. You kept asking about the bond stuff and I was reluctant because of my own issues. Would I have died too? Yes. Days later because I wouldn’t eat or move.” He explained carefully. “Life for a monster who has lost their soulmate is nothing. It’s colorless, joyless. Nothing matters and nothing will again. The soul is broken. But you even said you didn’t understand what you were doing that night. Would any of this have happened differently had you known?”

  
Understanding filled her eyes as she took in his words. No. Because she still would have looked at her pills believing if she just took enough of them the darkness would let up, the voice would stop. That did still leave a few other issues to cover. It was hours that they sat on that bench, talking through every issue that had arisen since their meeting, every reason they had for the things they did that had hurt the other or made the other uncomfortable. They set boundaries and finally… Ann explained why she had to see the hugs coming.

  
For the first time she spilled her heart about the abuse she had faced as a child. “ _ **Ten?!**_ ” Grillby exclaimed, rage boiling in his system.

  
Ann nodded and held his hand tighter. “The first time. Yeah, ten sounds right, because I was taken by CPS when I was ten as well. Mama didn’t have the money for us to have a place of our own. So we bounced from place to place. I was too young to understand that she was selling herself for the drugs and a night or two on the couch.” She told him, in as little detail as possible about the dealer who refused to touch her mother. She had heard him call her busted, nappy, used up. So, out of desperation, she had offered Ann.  
He had smiled and agreed. When Ann tried to run he had grabbed her from behind. “I woke up in a daze the next day and had a hard time walking. When my teacher asked me about it I told her everything. CPS came to talk to me the next day.” Ann sighed. “The same thing happened when I was older and my mama found me again. She sent her dealer to my apartment, hoping I would pay her debt.” The story she had told the group was true. They came to her saying she owed them money because of her mother. But she had left out that when she turned to enter her apartment, thinking the conversation over, one had grabbed her and pushed her against the wall.

  
Her ex-military neighbor had come to find the man in the act of raping her and beat the ever living hell out of him, threatening him with a gun. Grillby had never been so angry that he burnt an outline in a bench. But he noticed the black scorch mark on the wood that oddly resembled a hand. Ann leaned away from him, he was so hot. Grillby stood and paced a short distance closer to the water. His flames were so dark he was certain he looked pitch black on first glance. He turned back to Ann who appeared cautious.

“Fuck. That. Cunt.” The corner of Ann’s lips twitched up. “If she ever shows up again, you tell me, I will personally make that woman my bitch and assure she never hurts you again. Same for that fuck nut of a Dad.”

  
Ann chuckled and stood as well. “I feel bad for saying this, but I honestly wish you would have at least singed him that day.”

  
Grillby placed his now slightly cooler hands on her hips and drew her close. “Want me to track him down? I’ll gladly leave a big foot shaped burn on his ass.”

  
That laugh was like bells on the wind. He wanted to hear it forever. This hadn’t resolved everything, but it was a good start. Hope remained a bright little light on their bond even as they left the park. Grillby took Ann to the restaurant he had wanted to the day of their first date, the little hole in the wall. She loved it and ate like a woman starving. Apparently the hospital food had been nothing to write home about and she rarely ate all of it.

  
They talked about lighter subjects, an idea Ann had for a book during her stay, something stupid a patron had done at the bar. And for most of it, Grillby held Ann’s hand on top of the table for everyone to see. She was reluctant to go home, but Grillby convinced her to, seeing the exhaustion on her face. “I’ll stay with you tonight if you want.” He offered as they walked along the sidewalk in the general direction of her building.

  
That had done it. Ann’s cheeks turned a lovely pink and she couldn’t meet his gaze. But she nodded and held his hand a little tighter. He had been over to her place a few times during her absence to bring in the mail and make sure nothing had happened. He had also paid one of her bills that had come due, but he wasn’t about to admit that. Ann visibly relaxed once in her own home.

  
Grillby watched her a moment as she moved around the living room, checking on small things and becoming reacquainted with the space. His attempt to tell her his feelings at the party came back to him. He still hadn’t managed to get around to that, despite being so affectionate with her today. They had talked about everything else, aired out grievances and said their sorries and made their peace. But he still felt he needed to do that.

  
He met her gaze in the window before wrapping his arm around her shoulder. She almost instantaneously snuggled into his side. “Ann, remember the earrings I gave you?”

  
“They’re on my dresser.”

  
“There was something I was trying to tell you that night. And a question I wanted to ask as well.” He turned and pulled her flush with his chest, leaning down. His lips barely grazed Ann’s ear and sent a shiver of pleasure and anticipation down her spine. “Ann.” That low growl as well as the way Grillby pressed his thumbs into her hips shot a great spike of something hot straight through her. “I want to kiss you.” Came the admission. “May I?” And there was the question.

  
It was like Ann’s heart was vibrating, it was beating so fast! He wanted to kiss her. He had enough romantic feelings towards her that he actually wanted to kiss her. And after everything that had happened he still wanted to. Ann could feel some of her usual insecurities rising. Was he only doing this because he felt bad? Was he only asking because he felt obligated after everything that had happened? But she pushed those thoughts and feelings aside as her insurmountable joy washed over them both.

  
Ann turned her head slightly, cheeks ablaze and eyes wavering in desire. “Yes.” She whispered hoarsely.

  
Grillby gently tipped her chin up, his thumb grazing her bottom lip. The way she gazed up at him with heavily lidded eyes gave his soul a little shudder. The moment their lips met was the stuff one only reads about in fantasy novels and die hard romances. It was a soft kiss, inquisitive as the first should be. After a brief parting he dipped in again with more passion. He wanted to tell her everything his soul had to offer in these kisses and gentle touches. He never wanted to let her go.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow wants smut? You? It's a start to the smut! Yeah!

Grillby was slow to wake up, so comfortable as he was. It was the first time in a long time he had gotten a decent night's sleep. And the reason for his wondrous rest was currently tucked against his chest, nestled in his bare arms and still sleeping peacefully. Ann. Yesterday had been a wonderful start to, not only healing after everything that had happened, but their new relationship.

  
Ann had questioned whether it was alright to put a label on things. Grillby was hesitant, only because he hadn’t been exclusive for so long. But this was something he wanted. Ann was an odd culmination of everything he had actually wanted in a partner, not what he had convinced himself he wanted for so long. She made him happy. So he had agreed. Officially they were together and he would have to start remembering to refer to her as his girlfriend rather than just a friend.

  
Scenes from the night before played in his mind as he lounged in the mid morning light and twisted a piece of Ann’s brown hair around his finger. She was still bare from the waist up. The feeling of her skin was now forever ingrained in his mind. And it was set as the single most amazing feeling he knew. So far at least.

  
Their night hadn’t ended in the living room with those few affirming kisses. A dam of pent up emotions and desire had broken inside both of them. Emotions and desire that led them into Ann’s bedroom without a centimeter of space between them the entire time. Ann was hesitant to move her hands from his arms, clutching the fabric of his shirt there in a death grip. But her kiss was responsive and full of wonder. She would ghost her lips against his every so often and pull back with a tease only to surge forward once more.

  
The heavily lidded expression she had given him once her back hit the mattress was everything. God she was beautiful like that. Clothes rumpled and hair fanned out around her, cheeks pink and gazing up at him towering over her. She reached up to him and cupped his jaw. Grillby covered the hand with his own and turned to press gentle kisses to it. But the best kisses were those he leaned down to press against her throat and shoulder.

  
Ann’s voice was like a song as she whimpered and sighed as he pressed hot open mouthed kisses to the thin flesh there, his hands sneaking up her shirt to pull it up slowly. Her skin warmed beneath his touch and her body soon began to twitch and wraith. Small pants filled the room the closer his hands traveled to her chest. But he didn’t touch them. Grillby smiled against her shoulder as they danced away from her wanting breasts and traveled back down her body, Ann groaning in disappointment.

  
Grillby covered her mouth with his own once more, swallowing the groan and pressing his tongue to hers. He had discovered long before that things like sweat, saliva, and other such liquids didn’t affect him like regular water did. Ann continued to twitch and moan into their kiss as he carefully pulled her shirt up to expose her bra clad breasts. He pulled back, eyes searching her face. She was deliciously flushed from her cheeks all the way down to her heaving chest.

  
It was as his thumbs pressed gentle circles up her stomach and just under the wire of her bra that he saw her hands twitch longingly, but unsure. Grillby smiled and grazed his lips against the shell of her ear. “You’re allowed to touch me.” He said with a cuckle. There was a thought in the back of his mind. Like something similar to this situation had happened. He was reminded of his heat fueled fantasy where he had given her permission to explore, much like this.

  
He knew Ann’s timidity would cause her to hold back. But with that push she cupped her hands against his neck and trailed them along his shoulders. Every time her cold fingers grazed his flames he would twitch and groan. Temperature was a big thing to him. Shivers raced through him as she grew bolder and inched her fingers under his shirt. His abdomen was much more sensitive than his neck and he jerked slightly at the cold touch.

  
Ann pulled her hands away in haste. “Ah, sorry!”

  
Grillby grinned and kissed her deeply again, pulling her up so she was straddling his lap. “Your hands are cold.” He murmured against her lips.

  
“Sorry…”

  
“I like it.” He growled, hands kneading the crests of her hips. Soon her hands continued their previous journey into his shirt. Every touch was like an electric shock that brought a new sensation to his body. Up and down they brushed and teased his flames, sometimes stopping and pressing ice cold touches into certain sensitive places. Oh, she was real good at reading his body. And Grillby was determined to find all of her sweet spots as well.

  
Ann’s hands retreated briefly and tugged up on the bottom of his shirt. She pulled back just enough to gaze into the white abyss of his eyes. The red blush on her cheeks had grown exponentially, and despite her confident touches and teases she had a truly shy and timid expression. “G-grillby… um… can I? Or can you? Uh… the shirt…”

  
Grillby chuckled and swiftly pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it in a random direction. Ann’s eyes were wide and slightly wet from her mounting embarrassment. The gentle touch of his fingers under her chin had a shiver running down her spine as he leaned in and took the shell of her ear between his hot lips. “Any other requests?” He growled. She shook her head quickly. “Then can I ask the same of you?” Grillby pulled at the hem of her shirt still pulled up over her breasts. An audible gulp but a nod of approval.

  
Soon, her shirt joined his somewhere on the floor. Grillby’s mouth descended to her collar bone and further still to the swell of her breasts. One hand pressed at the small of her back as she arched into his affections and the other caressed the back of her neck. Her hips bucked forward and Grillby groaned at the contact with his aching erection. Damn his pants were too tight for this…

  
Ann yelped as she fell back against the bed once again. As Grillby crawled up her body he undid his pants and began to shimmy out of them, licking his lips hungirly before diving for a long kiss. Ann held his body close and tight, hand tangling in the twisting flames on top of his head. They never parted as Grillby undid the clasp of her bra and pulled it free, cupping her bare breasts for the first time. He swallowed the moan she let loose as his thumbs swirled over the hard tips of her nipples and pinched slightly.

  
They never parted as he used one hand to undo her pants and pull them down. They never parted as he hooked his fingers under the band of her panties and pulled them down her hips and legs. The moment his hands moved and began to slide up her inner thigh she froze, hard and instant panic slapping Grillby from their bond. He pulled away from her and cupped her cheeks. “Ann?”

  
She was no longer flushed that beautiful red, but pale with wide and frightened eyes that held a long reaching darkness. He pulled her trembling body into his and murmured reassuring words to her. Ann’s hold on him was tight. Her trembling only lasted a minute or two as Grillby ran his hand up and down her back while continuing to murmure to her. “I-i… I’m- I just. I got scared…”

  
“Of what?” He asked.

  
But Ann was quiet for a long moment and buried her face into the crook of his shoulder. He could easily imagine what she was afraid of after what she had divulged earlier, but he didn’t want to assume. Maybe it had been something he had done. Or maybe she felt they were moving too quickly in that instance. But she confirmed his original theory. “I… have never had consentual sex… And when your hands… I panicked… I’m sorry.”

  
“Hey.” Grillby kissed her as tenderly as he could and pressed their foreheads together. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Don’t apologize.”

  
But Ann felt honestly terrible. Grillby was as far from those disgusting pigs who had raped her as one could get. Yet when his hands had touched her legs, all she could remember were their sick smiles as they forced her legs apart. And then the burning pain… She had thought being intimate with Grillby would be an easy and enjoyable experience. There had even been that moment when she had offered to be with him during his heat…

  
It seemed she still had some work to do. They continued to kiss and idly pet for a while before Ann pulled her panties back on for comfort sake to sleep, happily nestled in her boyfriend's embrace.

  
Grillby stretched and slipped his arms from around her so he could get up from the bed. He needed to smoke big time. Ann did have a small balcony beyond her bedroom and he pulled on his pants before venturing out and sticking a cigarette between his lips. He lit it with his magic and pulled his phone from his back pocket. A message from Renee… It was nothing important, just a question about work. But he missed having messages from Linae.

  
He pulled up her contact and started a text, but found he just didn’t know what to say to her. He had been harsh. Maybe a little too much so. After all, he hadn’t been the only one upset at the time. While Linae’s insistence had pissed him off she was just trying to be a good friend. She was worried he would dust in his misery… Grillby breathed in the smoke gladly and let it out slow. Arguing with Linae used to be a weekly occurrence. But he had never… been such a total dick to her before.

  
Grillby sighed and typed the most basic text he could think of.

  
***Linae Starr***

  
**(X-XXX-XXX-XXXX)**

  
**Grillby: Can we talk?**

  
Not expecting a response, he started to put it away, only to be surprised at an almost instantaneous alert buzz.

  
**LS: Are you done being a major asshole?**

  
Okay, he wasn’t sure if he deserved that. But he knew that when Linae got mad she also got really fucking mean. Grillby sighed.

  
**G: I’m serious. Please.**

  
His cigarette was gone and another began as he stared at the phone. But no response came. A deep hurt settled in his chest. Losing a friend never affected him much. People came and went, and it was no business of his if they decided they didn’t want to be around anymore. But Linae was a different kind of friend, one he had come to cherish and depend on. Was it over? Had he lost Linae?

  
The sliding door sounded behind him and he turned. Ann stood with all of her standard timidity, but he knew she was trying to be bold wearing nothing but his shirt. Her cheeks were pink and face downturned. But damn she looked amazing like that. Grillby leaned back against the railing, giving her an eyeful of his bare chest as he smirked and raked his gaze up and down her form. “Morning.” He rumbled.

  
Ann smiled as her blush grew. “Hi.” The distance between them was gone in an instant as Grillby moved to catch her chin and pull her in for a deep good morning kiss. He would never grow tired of this feeling. A spark of hope and pleasure warmed his soul, knowing it came from Ann. Hope was a beautiful feeling.

  
There wasn’t any edible food in the apartment, so Grillby placed an order while they cleaned up the fridge and pantry and made coffee. As they ate… Ann noticed Grillby’s continued glances over at his phone. There was no hiding it as Ann had previously remarked on wanting to clear the air with both Linae and Renee soon. He told her about their prolonged fight as he tore apart a biscuit.

  
“Wow. That uh... that sounds like kind of a dumb fight.” Ann said.

  
“Dumb?”

  
She nodded. “You… shouldn’t have said that. Really shouldn't have said that. But both of you were obviously upset. Emotions were high and that one card was too much for the stack.” Ann took a sip of coffee. “I have something I want to start working on. Take my keys and go upstairs. Maybe she’ll be more willing to talk face to face?”

  
Maybe she was right… It would be better as well if Linae and he could be on speaking terms before Ann tried to talk to her. He knew she would want support and that’s hard to give when the other party is trying to crush you with their mind. Once the plates were cleared, he gave Ann another kiss and took her keys before heading to the elevator. Linae wasn’t that much of a bitter bitch. He doubted she would refuse to talk to him.

  
He thought that… but found he was having the same problem he did at Ann’s door the night of the party. Hand poised, ready to knock… but he just couldn’t get himself to do it. Grillby sighed and passed his hand down his face. Great. Just fucking great. Way to go, Tine, you pansy ass excuse of a bonfire. Can’t even knock on a door… Only because he cares though… and he cares enough he’s afraid…

  
Like all monsters, Grillby had been growing and changing himself. Though his growth seemed… different. He supposed it was because unlike most other monsters, he remembered the times before the underground and the times before their race was one of kill-or-be-killed. So he was a little late to the party… And a little slower to accept that it was a good thing.

  
Grillby knocked.

  
It was Tom that answered, eyes wide and mouth hanging slightly open. “Grillby?”

  
“Can I talk to Lin?”

  
He hesitated, eyes bouncing back and forth as he chewed on his lip. But he stepped aside in the end and let Grillby in. He froze. The smell of Tom was there, like cherries after a rain shower. Linae’s smell was there as well, bright and familiar, bold heat. Like sheets that were just taken out of a hot dryer or the smell one gets after sitting with their back to a fire for too long. But even greater than both of those combined was another scent.

  
Tom led him into the living room, where Linae sat curled up in a blanket as she watched TV and cradled a mug of something that obviously was not making her happy. She turned to him and froze much like he had. It was the first time he had ever seen her without make-up on… It was a long and quiet moment as they simply stared at each other. Linae’s eyes began to well with tears as she sucked in her bottom lip.

  
Grillby gave her a gentle and honest smile. “You’re pregnant.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little more Grillby and Linae and the long awaited discussion with Ann and everyone!

Linae chuckled at his brusqueness and wiped at the wetness in her eyes. “Really? I hadn’t noticed.” She motioned to the seat next to her and Grillby took it, noticing her mug was actually full of tea rather than coffee. Noticing his gaze, Linae explained. “Apparently, I shouldn’t drink coffee or HAVE ANYTHING DELICIOUS while pregnant.”

  
“What bullshit.”

  
“Utter.” Silence, and then they both broke out into sputtering laughter while Tom shook his head and moved into the kitchen. “In grand fashion, my heat hit the day after our… argument. We had been discussing the possibility for a while…”

  
As Grillby could recall, Tom’s family wasn’t exactly onboard with their relationship despite the soulmate status. They were the kind of religious types that believed races should remain with ‘their own’. And he wasn’t just talking about monsters and humans. Yeah. Those assholes. It was what had been keeping Tom from making the leap to extend his lifespan to match Linae’s. “Let me know if twat’s family gives you any bullshit.”

  
“They are no longer speaking.” Oh? Linae smirked into her tea before taking a casual sip. “My Tom has been doing so well growing his world views and understanding. So well that he had the balls to tell his mother that she was being both a racist and a homophobe the other day on the phone and please stop. She blamed his new found heresy on me and told him he was going to hell. So he said ‘see you there then’ and hung up.”

  
Ye~s. Oh Grillby kind of wished he had been there to see that. “She’s leaving out the part where I had a guilt riddled melt down right after and she had to convince me to stand my ground and not call them back to apologize.” Tom remarked dryly as he reentered with two mugs of coffee, one offered to Grillby.

  
Linae glared as he took it. “Really. You assholes are going to drink that right in front of me?” Tom and Grillby shared a glance before taking defiant sips. “Bastards, the lot of ya.”

  
“Honey, I told you and the doctor told you. Caffeine isn’t good for the baby. But brownies…”

  
“Brownies do jack shit for the headaches.” She pouted.

  
Tom threw up his hands and stalked away, leaving him and Linae alone again. It was quiet and he found himself staring at the surface of the black coffee. Finally, he sighed. “Lin, I’m sorry.”

  
She didn’t say anything for a moment as her gaze returned to the TV. “I know.”

  
“I regretted what I said the moment I said it.”

  
“I know that too.”

  
He sighed. “And in any case… you were right.”

  
A grin spread across her face as she leaned his way and cupped a hand over her ear. “Oh, what was that? I didn’t catch that last bit.”

  
Oh this little shit. Why was he trying to salvage their friendship again. His jaw clicked shut and his eyes narrowed. “You were right.” He ground out.

  
She sat back with a little flourish. “I know that too. Get on my level. But also… go on.” He told her about the previous weeks, his continued descent into depression, crying his eyes out in Muffett’s shop, going to the hospital every day with just the slim hope of being able to see his soulmate.

  
Linae was patient as she listened and never interrupted. “Honestly, the best I felt was after spilling everything to Muffett. You were right. The last thing I needed was to be alone. Having you to support me would have been a tremendous help but I was too proud and stubborn to apologize.”

  
His gaze was trained on her face, realizing just how much he had missed her. Before Ann came around they had been growing a little distant. She had made friends on the surface and was eager to see what there was. Grillby was just content to work and save up for his restaurant. But having her around more only made him realize how much he actually valued her as a friend, rather than the woman he used to boink on the weekend.

  
“Have you seen her?” Linae finally asked, worry lacing her tone.

  
“Ann is home. She was released yesterday.” A breath of relief left her as she went to take another sip of her drink. “We’re official.”

  
She spit the sip back into the cup and coughed. “What? Say again? You did not just tell me you and Ann are a couple.” He nodded to her, happy that she was the first person he told. That proud grin and darkening cheeks told him just how happy she was for them. “Hey, Tom! You don’t have to worry about going to hell anymore! It froze over!”

  
Bitch.

“Ann!” Renee wailed the moment they were through the diner’s door. She looked up in time to notice the hug coming but not to brace herself, resulting in Grillby having to catch her before they both fell to the ground.

  
“Renee, for fuck’s sake!” Grillby growled.

  
But she didn’t respond to his obvious irritation. Fat tears slid down Renee’s face as she held onto Ann and continuously muttered apologies. Ann held her back in a gentler fashion. Was two full days out of the hospital really enough time for Ann to be sitting down with Renee and Linae to discuss their issues? Sure, she and Grillby had done that the day she was released, but that was different.

  
Grillby was worried about how Ann might handle some of the discussion given that she wasn’t exactly back on her feet yet. She was still having a hard time finding her voice and had to be prompted into speaking. There were things she wanted to tell them, things that neither really knew if she would be able to say before losing her nerve. But Ann had been persistent, saying she could handle it. After all… she had him for support.

  
Words could not describe just how unbelievably happy that had made him. Yes. She did have him for support now. And the past few days had been the better end of a dream. Ann was so receptive and responsive to his affections, his touches, his words, and any small care he managed to give. Just like the first night, they had found themselves indulging in each other the night after that and just the night before. Each night he learned a little more about where it was okay to touch and where was a big no.

  
They both knew Ann wasn’t ready to go all the way. But it didn’t stop them from having fun. Ann… did however voice a few lingering doubts about the validity of his affections. It had been just the night before as they were getting ready for bed when she asked him. “Do you… actually like me? Or do you- you know… feel guilty.”

  
He knew that line of questioning was an eventuality. Didn’t stop the stab of hurt though. A hurt that was strong enough even she felt it. But Grillby spent a decent amount of time convincing her that his feelings were indeed real. Using words and actions a like.

  
Linae jogged over and gently coaxed a weepy mess of Renee away from Ann before leaning in and giving her her own quick but sturdy hug. “I missed you.” He heard her whisper before leading them all back to the table. Renee and Linae sat on one side of the booth while Grillby and Ann occupied the other, all four ordering a coffee.

  
Grillby smirked. “Rebeling, are we?” He teased.

  
She glared at him. “I swear to God, matchstick. You tell Tom, I blow out your hair.”

  
Ann and Renee shared a look. “Is there something wrong with her having coffee?”

  
“I will explain later. But first-” Linae reached across the table and took Ann’s hands in her own. “How are you?”

  
She shyly glanced around their small booth. “I’m… alright. Better. Much better.”

  
Obvious relief painted their expressions. “Good. You had all of us worried for a while there. And don’t you dare apologize.” Linae said the moment Ann’s mouth opened. She shut it with a snap. “We’re just happy you’re feeling better. And we want to know what we can do to keep it that way.”

  
Renee nodded vigorously, eyes still damp. “I’m so sorry!” Those tears spilled in earnest and Ann stiffened in surprise. “I knew you thought I was using you but I kept putting off talking about it! I should have come to you sooner! I love you Ann, you’re an amazing friend and I feel like a shitty person and-”

  
“Costa! Hey!” Linae pulled her into her arms, allowing the small woman to cry herself nearly sick.

  
Ann knotted her fingers together and seemed nervous. “Renee… It’s…” She took a deep breath. “Renee… I only saw your enthusiasm for my work. I never paid attention all of the times you gave me advice, or took an interest in my life, or tried to be a good friend. And I’m sorry.” She took off her glasses and started to clean the lens as she continued to speak. “I did think you were only around because of my work. And when I overheard you at the party… I lost hope. But that was… unfair.”

  
She smiled sadly at her as she replaced the glasses. “I’m sorry. I should have brought it up too. But I… I was… afraid. I thought, what would be worse? Asking and you confirming it? Or not and just pretending?”

  
Linae covered Ann’s hand with one of hers again. “Ann, I told you. You don’t need to apologize.”

  
“Yes, I do.” She said about as sternly as any of them had ever heard. “I overheard you on the phone at my apartment. And I was hurt, because you said we weren’t friends. But I was too timid to talk to you about it and let it weigh on me. I avoided you, refused to invite you to my party, and was just running away from the issue. I am not free from fault.” Grillby was honestly impressed as she very carefully and evenly explained to them about her new diagnosis and what she had honestly believed about them. The pity friend topic had been hard. Never once had Grillby thought asking Linae to spend time with her would result in her thinking he saw her as a charity case.

  
But it wasn’t just her in her head at times. That was something they all had to remember when discussing this. Ann had a voice that told her she was wrong, she was unwanted, unloved, unworthy. She believed people were tricking her, and it was just in her head. “I’m sorry for everything.”

  
Linae and Renee both reached out their hands to her and gave her tearful smiles. “Will you still be our friend?” Renee asked, hopefully.

  
“Of course I will!” Tears flowed down Ann’s face and Grillby carefully placed his arm around her. “That was never a question! You both are the best friends I could ask for. Minus Grillby, of course…”

  
Renee smirking around a tear stained face was the oddest thing he had seen. “Is that affection I see? Could it be? Has our Grillby finally grown a pair and confessed his undying love?”

  
He choked on air and Ann burst into sputters and blushes. Do not remove your arm, don’t do it. She is teasing. You can be as affectionate as you want with Ann. But… No. Grillby had not confessed… love. He was… having trouble getting that out. It wasn’t that he hadn’t tried. In fact, there had been many times that he had found himself just staring at her, as she typed, or spoke, or smiled at him in bed, thinking how much he loved her. Yet no matter how many times he opened his mouth to tell her… nothing came out.

  
Not only that, but the bond had felt different since he began to accept his feelings more. He felt her emotions more often, noticed her scent was stronger, and found that everything he had once thought off putting about her made him love her even more. It was like how the soulmate bond had always been described to him. To a monster, their soulmate is perfect. Their love for them is deep, strong. Even those who aren’t romantic with their soulmates have described it as a love like no other.

  
He understood now. Every day he felt his feelings growing. And it scared the absolute crap out of him. But he couldn’t deny just how wonderful it felt at the same time. Grillby had been unconsciously blocking the bond with his fervent denial of Ann. Accepting her, being near her, he found his soul had been freed. And, odd as it sounds from him, she had lit a fire in his soul that burned brighter every day.

  
Grillby glared across at Renee just in time to see Linae’s hand slap the back of her head. “Costa, what did I say?”

  
“Aye, Puta… That was the tamest thing I could think of! Trust me, I wanted to say something much worse! It had to do with a little purple-”

  
“Costa, no!” … Little? Grillby removed his glasses and rubbed at the corner of his eye. Good fucking God.

  
“Wait. It is purple?” There was a sparkle in Renee’s eyes that had nothing to do with the moisture.

  
“I am not answering that. Ann, do NOT answer that.”

  
It was… an indeterminate amount of time before they were all able to calm down. But the calm did not last. As soon as she was able… Linae announced her pregnancy. Which, of course, resulted in a very high pitched scream from Renee and a much more reserved clap of joy from Ann.

  
There was nothing but joy and relief and excitement between all of them. All of the worries Grillby had on the way there had melted. Not only that, but his soul seemed to pulse just a little bit harder every time he looked over to see Ann’s smiling face, her bright eyes, the pink color in her cheeks. Linae’s joy and Renee’s excitement, while annoying at times, made him happy as well. He thought for the first time in his life of just how much he wanted to hold on to these moments, with these friends. He would do anything to keep their smiles.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why? Because I can! And because the comments have been getting funny the past few weeks. Lol.

Ann simply ate up any story Grillby was willing to write out or tell her about his time during the war. She was attentive and would ask specifying questions. However, she seemed the most interested in learning more about Fetic and Dander and their involvement with the brunt of the war. Considering the war hadn’t lasted more than two years and they both died close to the end, there was a lot to tell.

  
When he was done telling her a story or she finished reading one of the write ups he had made she would sit and type on her computer for hours. ‘It’s a surprise’ is the only response he would receive when he asked what she was writing. This continued to happen over the span of a week and a half. Questions were answered, lots of typing. Another story? More typing. It was increasingly difficult to pull her away long enough to eat a meal.

  
But that was just a part of who Ann was. He had never actually seen her work until recently. Her face would be a perfect mask of indifference, or she would bite at the corner of her mouth over and over again. He had noticed something odd as well. At times, it was obvious emotions were rampant in her head and they would begin to show on her face. But never once did any of those emotions make it to him.

  
He could only guess that he couldn’t feel them… because they weren’t her emotions. They were the emotions of her characters showing on her face and tightening her shoulders. It was a marvel to watch her. But, she still had to eat. Grillby didn’t spend every night at Ann’s apartment, despite how much they both would like that to happen. But he did see her every day, made sure she ate, made sure she took her medicine, and always made sure her doubts were sated.

  
Ann was doing better on the intimacy front. Though… now he was facing a problem of his own on that ground. A few nights before, Ann’s curiosity had flared and she asked about monsters and humans having children. He could only assume the question came from Linae’s pregnancy. “I’m not a doctor, but I know for monsters and humans to have a kid is the same as two monsters. In a sense? There are no accident kids among monsters… Wait… no it’s just obscenely rare. Like once every hundred years.”

  
“No accident children?” She had asked, eyes bright. “So, what is so different between monsters having children and humans having children that it’s like that?”

  
Grillby slid the balcony door open and lit a cigarette. “Monster children are created from the soul. I don’t know how surprising this might be, but regular sex is far from what we call intimate.” He had watched as her eyes grew ever wider and she settled on the edge of the bed for the explanation. “Sex is fun. It’s a great way to relieve stress and kill a few hours. It really matters when the soul is involved.” A small cloud of smoke spilled from his mouth and out the door. “Monsters can do this thing called resonate. It’s literally a joining of the souls. Two bodies, one temporarily combined being.

  
But it’s a lot more than just… being together. I’ve never done it, but Others have told me you can hear each other in your minds, feel everything they feel. You can even poke through memories. It is full access. So a lot of monsters don’t even attempt it until after they’ve been married or together for YEARS. That being said. Sex during a resonence, when the souls are one, is what does it.” He shrugged. “Like I said. I’m not a doctor. But a lot of monsters are finding out they can resonate with their human soulmates and have kids. It’s what turns them into mages and extends their life span to match that of their partner.”

  
Ann’s jaw dropped. There was a strong sense of aw and curiosity as well as nerves that slid across his soul from her. ...Nerves? What was she nervous about? He continued to enjoy his smoke while she processed everything. “Do you… I mean not anytime soon obviously- it’s been two weeks- I’m not trying to be pushy or… Um… Do you think we could ever do that?”

  
Grillby coughed, caught off guard by the question. Not that it wasn’t something he expected eventually from her… but not this soon. He turned to her slowly, cautiously once his coughing came to an end. She was the picture of nervous. Hands twitching, head down, cheeks red.

  
“Uh… Which part?” He finally asked, stupidly.

  
“Resonate! Asking about resonating! Not kids. I promise. Though… uh…” A lovely shade of red spread across her cheeks as she knotted her fingers over and over again.  
Grillby ran a hand down his face. “That’s…” Why couldn’t he calm down? His soul was going nuts in his chest and his flames were erratic, popping and twisting like he had never known. His hands shook, and no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t meet Ann’s gaze. “I uh… I’ve never actually thought about it.” A beat of time passed where neither spoke up. Grillby was still having a hell of a time with the thought. “I… don’t see why not. In a few years.”

  
Ann nodded slowly. “And what about… uh, kids… down the line. Way down the line.” Another loud pop from Grillby’s flames. Jesus Christ. His mouth opened and closed a few times like a gasping fish. She quickly continued. “It’s okay if you don’t want to! I’m just-! Uh… I…” Her gaze slid up and met his. It was quiet, calm. Like no one else in the world existed. “I love you, Grillby.” She finally said.

  
A hard pulse in his soul made Grillby gasp in a breath. She said it. Neither had been able to actually say it. It was… pure pleasure and emotion mounted in Grillby’s soul upon hearing those confessed words. He knelt before her, hands shaking as he reached out to hold her, his shoulder slumped and head buried in her stomach. He was like a man redeemed, giving praise to something, someone so unbelievably precious.

  
Grillby had heard those words before. Many times. This was different. Because he also loved her so much he couldn’t stand it sometimes. It would hit him randomly, choke him and make his chest heavy. But he just… couldn’t say it. Grillby lifted his head and cupped Ann’s jaw, bringing her down into the most passionate kiss he could muster.  
“Ann… I can’t answer that. At least not now.” He pressed their foreheads together, indulging in her sweet and calming scent. “I never even thought I would have this with you. Thinking about the future…”

  
“I’m sorry… I feel like I said something wrong…”

  
“No.” He answered, kissing her lightly. “You said exactly the right thing.” The space between her breasts was quickly becoming Grillby’s favorite place to rest his head. The gentle rise and fall of her breaths lulled him while the steady beating of her heart, followed by the slightly softer and faster pulse of her soul made him so unbelievably calm. “One day we will be able to have that conversation. I promise.” And one day, he wouldn’t be afraid to answer her confession.

  
For now though, he nuzzled slightly into her soft skin, pressing little kisses and nips to the top of her breasts. Ann let out a breathless giggle as his hands began to wonder over her scantily clad body. He knew not to touch her inner thigh. The outside was okay though and had a lovely amount of give in the flesh. From elbow to wrist was also off limits. Though she greatly enjoyed shoulder rubs.

  
Oddly enough, Ann was fine when he touched her back, but became rather twitchy when he tried to see it. It was all still a learning game. Ann leaned back on her hands as he pushed up the bottom of her nighty, aiming for her bare stomach. The groan she let loose was pure music and he greedily sucked and licked at her skin. Grillby’s hands cupped her breasts and gently thumbed over her nipples. He raised the temperature of his hands and heard his precious soulmate gasp a moan in response.

  
Slowly, carefully, he made his way down her stomach, hands tracing a burning trail down her sides to hook into the band of her panties. They slid down her legs to the ground like nothing. She twitched the farther down he went, breaths growing heavier. It wasn’t the first time she was bare before him but it was the first time he was sitting between her legs when she was.

  
His hot breath blew across her slick and open pussy, causing her to twitch and cry out softly. “G-gri-” Ann swallowed hard. “Grillby?” God she looked so sexy like that. Her eyes were lidded and face a seductive red as she peered down at him. A thin sheen of sweat clung to her skin from the heat and excitement.

  
“Is it okay?” Grillby asked, sitting up farther on his knees to cup her chin and gaze into her eyes. Shivers ran through her body and she nodded faintly. He pressed a full, open mouthed kiss to her lips before slipping back down her body to her waiting pussy. Now, how hot was too hot for this sensitive area? Grillby’s tongue, like his dick, was always naturally hotter than the rest of his body. But he could turn up the heat if he so wished.

  
The first swipe of his tongue across her folds was interesting. Ann jumped harshly and he stopped himself last second from gripping her inner thighs to keep her still. Instead, he grabbed her hips and chuckled slightly. “Ann, you okay?” She nodded vigorously, eyes blown wide and refusing to look away from him. This time, she shivered, but kept herself in place as Grillby swiped his tongue up her slit. She cried out, hand plunging into his hair.

  
His tongue carefully searched for her most sensitive areas, felt for what motion made her fingers curl in his hair the most, what made her sing the loudest. The twitch of her hips as he continued to lathe at her and nip gently at her clit amused him. And it was the clit he found she responded the best with. Grillby made his tongue grow hotter before suckling at the small pearl and flicking it with the tip. Ann called out his name and arched her back.

  
Her legs began to shiver and her pussy grew wetter very quickly. If he wasn’t afraid of scaring her by using his fingers to help her along he would do it. But Grillby had never tested those waters. This was the farthest they had ever gotten, and he could feel her muscles tightening as she neared her climax. Grillby would be damned if he left her wanting because he grew too bold.

  
Ann’s voice rose the more he sucked and licked at her clit. She was getting close. Grillby made his mouth a little hotter and gave it a few hard flicks with his tongue before her legs closed tight around his head and she spasmed, crying out his name. There was a small thump as her arms gave out and she fell back on the bed. The spasms continued for a short period as Grillby continued to swirl his cooled tongue around her, working her through her climax. Like a damn gentleman.

  
When the twitching stopped, so did Grillby. Ann was panting, chest heaving and skin slick with sweat. But she looked so damn amazing with her eyes wet and lidded, face and breasts flushed. He slowly crawled up her prone body and grinned down at her. She returned it and reached a hand up, cupping his cheek. “I love you.” She said breathlessly. He leaned down and held her tightly. One day he would be able to say it too.

Ann had only ever agreed to one book signing since she had begun publishing. That was for ‘Endless’, her second book but first fantasy. Her publisher had set it up after it’s success secured a movie contract. Despite her insistence that she was uncomfortable interacting with so many strangers the publishing team forged ahead, saying it would be good for sales.

  
Of course, at the time, Ann needed money. After the… incident with her mother and the dealers, she had been looking for a new apartment. But everything was so unbelievably expensive. Though she had seen what percentage she would be getting from the movie deal, she wouldn’t be getting it until the movie was in theaters. So, Ann had agreed.

  
It had gone a lot like she thought it would. The fans lined up to have their books signed and made some overly enthusiastic attempt to have an extended conversation with her. A few had even reached out to touch her arm or hand. Panic had flooded her each time, imagining that man’s hands on her again, causing her to jerk violently away. Many people walked away with odd side glances and murmurs as she panted, sweating as she fought back the panic.

  
After that signing, her publisher never insisted she do another.

  
Ann insisted this time. It had been a full two weeks since her release from the hospital and she wanted to put some of her therapists advice into action. Part of what the therapist had said was that she needed to learn how to work with her stress in situations that were not easily exited. I.E. Large groups of people with all of their focus on her. So, since the mage rebellion trilogy now had a movie deal, she expressed her interest in holding a book signing for all three books.

  
Suffice to say, her publishing manager was stunned almost silent and babbled out an assurance they could set one up. Unfortunately though, they set it up on a day at a time when both Grillby and Renee were at work and Linae was at a doctors appointment. Going it alone was definitely not how she wanted to do it, but if she ever wanted to learn how to be okay on her own she had to learn to handle uncomfortable situations.

  
So, there she sat, anxiety like a ten pound weight in her chest at a table in a large bookstore, alone. The line was rather long and she avoided looking at it. Most people did actually bring all three books for her to sign, and some even brought her other publications. The staff in charge of the signing made sure to stop those people before they presented them though. So far it hasn't been horrible.

  
Fans simply gushed about how much they enjoyed the story, their favorite character, character pairing. A few asked clarifying questions that Ann was happy to answer. But then there were those who weren’t happy with a particular character's fate and made their displeasure known. They were escorted away immediately. But even still, the altercations left her shaky and begging for a place to hide. It was too many people…

  
Ann rubbed the center of her chest and took a few deep breaths. It was almost over. The end of the line was finally in sight and she could dream of the absurd amount of alcohol she was going to drink at Casey’s bar after this. Alcohol served by her boyfriend no less. Ann let a small smile cross her face.

  
Being with him had been more than she had ever hoped. Yes, Grillby was still his regular grumpy self, but he was also very tender and affectionate with her. He always seemed to want to have a hand on her, or his leg pressed against her. It was like he always wanted to feel her there with him. Grillby was still entirely himself while simultaneously being an amazing partner, doing everything to assuage her fear that he was only committing to her out of guilt. She was especially happy he was being patient with her in the sex department.

  
Some of that anxiety lifted from her chest as the soft smile he had given her that morning showed in her mind. It remained as the final person set their book in front of her. Only ‘Feathers of White’? Oh well. Ann opened the cover and poised the pen. “Is there anyone you would like me to sign this too?” She asked for the hundredth time that day.

  
“Yes, Jackson Ray.” Jackson… Ray? Ann’s head slowly lifted to meet the gaze of a middle aged man with deep eyes and a well trimmed red beard. He was familiar, though she had only seen him once for a brief period, and from around a very pissed off Grillby. He stood there with his hands in his pocket with a nervous yet hopeful expression. “And… I was wondering if we could talk for a moment.”


	22. Chapter 22

That undeniable anxiety had sat in Grillby’s chest for hours. From the time he knew Ann’s signing had begun to current standing. God he had wanted to be there with her. But getting time off from the bar so close to the end of his last heat cycle was a bitch. He at least took comfort in the fact it was just anxiety racing through him from her. It was still annoying and heavy, but better than panic or fear.

  
The bar had just finished it’s first rush of the day. Renee was attempting some odd trick with a lighter and the rims of two glasses but was having trouble. It was entertaining to watch at least. He carefully cleaned the bartop and tossed old glasses into the sink for someone else to wash, making sure everything looked nice for the next rush of customers.

  
God he couldn’t wait until he was able to run his own place again. The dive bar was great for his required years and to pay his rent, but he was tired of everything he touched being sticky and coming away with clothes that wreaked of whisky. Grillby sighed and flicked a small bit of fire at Renee as she attempted the trick yet again, helping her keep both rims lit as she poured the drink from one glass to the other.

  
The obviously tipsy patrons cheered and ordered more shots. Renee mouthed a thank you his way as he returned to his regular work. A high hit of surprise and uncertain fear made him grip the bar top. Shit. Fuck, shit, Ann! Grillby passed behind Renee as his flames flickered wildly. “Cover for me.” Was all he said as he ripped his apron off and ran for the back door.

Ann and the man named Jackson had been sitting across from each other at the coffee shop next door to the bookstore for five minutes in silence. Fresh and untouched coffee’s sat before them both. The man… Her father’s husband… he looked around the room and bounced his leg in obvious nerves. But he hadn’t said anything! Ann’s anxiety and fear were mounting the longer they sat there in silence.

  
She jumped when he finally sighed. “I uh… I thought I should come and tell you that Mitchell is in prison. So you don’t have to worry about him.”

  
Ann blinked dumbly in surprise. “Uh… Wait, really?”

  
A small smile of amusement crossed his face. “Yeah, he didn’t take the divorce very well.” Ann winced, a little sad that she had played a part in their relationship ending. “I saw that.” She jumped. “Don’t feel bad. He had been doing some shady things for years. Things that now make sense, but still. Don’t feel bad for him either. Wanna know what he did to end up behind bars.” Oh, yes please. Jackson smiled and sat back. “Okay, first, he got super drunk after the divorce was finalized and accosted a poor biracial couple, calling them all sorts of things and attempting to hit them. Then, he trashed their car, took off in his, and then, get this, crashed into the side of the police station.”

  
Ann snorted a laugh and hid her smile in her coffee.

  
He looked off to the side with an odd expression. “The police had previous charges against him for unpaid child support and refusal to appear in family court. I won’t bail him out and pretty much every friend he had abandoned him when they learned what he did to you and your friend. We won’t be seeing him for a while.”

  
“Thank you. For letting me know. It actually does make me feel better.” It was quiet again for a moment. There were things she wanted to ask him, but didn’t know if it was appropriate to ask. He obviously was still hurt by the knowledge that his husband had been hiding such a secret, and being face to face with that secret couldn’t be easy for him.

  
“I uh- I tried to visit you in the hospital.” Jackson said, scratching his beard. “You… You okay?”

  
That’s right. She remembered Rose confusedly telling her Jackson Ray wanted to see her. She would have rejected the visit even if she hadn’t asked for no visitors since she didn’t know who he was. “How did you know I was there?”

  
“Someone from your publishing company. I work for Dove publishing myself and mentioned your name at a conference hoping to find you. They told me where you were.”

  
Ah. He was really going through all the channels to find her… “I’m… very good now.” She answered with honesty. “It was a misdiagnosis that put me there. I’m fine.” It was quiet again, awkwardness strung between them as Jackson obviously avoided something. “Was… telling me about my Dad the only reason you wanted to see me?” Ann finally asked, voice breaking slightly in her nerves.

  
He rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s… it’s stupid. God, I feel dumb, coming out here, trying to see you…” A bright red flush spread under the hair of his beard. It was an odd contrast of color that made Ann smile.

  
“If… if it means so much to you to go through the trouble… then it can’t be that stupid.”

  
Jackson looked her over briefly before taking a deep breath. “Look. I wanted-jeez- first to properly introduce myself. Uh-” He held out his large and slightly sweaty hand. “I’m Jackson Ray. Formerly Jackson Ray-Foster, but we both know what happened there. Uh, you can call me Jack.”

  
Ann giggled and took his hand, shaking it. “It’s nice to meet you. You can call me Ann.”

  
A large smile and hope brightened his face. “I’ve wanted a child for so long. Years of applying for adoption with no luck… And then I find out that…” His eyes grew misty and Ann felt a lump form in her throat. “That I had a step-daughter the whole time. Mitchell knew you were in foster care, we could have taken you in at any time. I would have welcomed you with open arms, spoiled you absolutely rotten…. And… I know you’re too old to be adopted, but… would you allow me to be your step-dad still?”

  
Ann’s throat burned, her heart pounded in her rib cage and fat tears slid down her face and made a mess of her glasses. Oh… Oh wow. This had been the last thing she could have expected but it was the exact thing she had dreamed of for so long. He wanted to be her dad, wanted her to be a part of his family.

  
Jack floundered as he saw her tears. “Oh, jeez! I’m sorry! Please don’t cry! I won’t be weird!”

  
It was so absurd! Watching his arms flail and his head whip back and forth with a face of pure panic brought out such a pure laugh from Ann that he froze. Her shoulder shook and she covered her mouth with her hands as she continued to laugh. “I’m- I’m sorry! Your face!”

  
A sheepish look crossed his face as he ducked down in his seat. “Ann!” They both turned to the voice to see a thoroughly worried Grillby jogging up to them, purple flames twisting wildly. Ann stood and met him a few steps from the table. He instantly had his hands on her shoulders and looked her over. “What the hell happened?” He growled, looking behind her to Jack. He remembered him and instantly moved Ann behind him.

  
“I’m not here to hurt her!” Jack defended.

  
“Really? Because that’s all you and your fucknut husband seem to do.”

  
Ann patted his arm and hugged it to her chest, giving him a pleading look. “It’s okay, Grillby.” Was it? He met her gaze and saw no fear… The panic and fear he had felt from her before was gone as well. “He came to tell me my Dad isn’t going to be able to bother us.” Jack quickly launched into a retelling of the story of Mitchell’s fall into prison, more because he liked telling it than for Grillby’s benefit.

  
Grillby nodded with a certain level of amusement at the end of the story. “Fitting. Still would have liked to burn my foot on his deadbeat ass.”

  
“I would have let you in to do it.” Jack said with a wicked grin.

  
Okay, he was slowly starting to like this guy. Ann smiled and held out her hand for Jack to take. It didn’t take long for him to gladly grasp it. “Thank you. For what you said. You have no idea just how much that means to me. But, you understand if I want to get to know you better before agreeing.”

  
He nodded, giving her a big smile. “Yeah, no, I get it! You have my number.”

  
Grillby rose a flaming brow at his soulmate as she turned to him to leave. “What are we agreeing to, exactly?”

  
Ann explained in as much heartfelt detail she could Jack’s proposal. It was obvious she wanted to accept right then and there, but he commended her for taking it slow and deciding to test the waters first. Grillby kept his arm around her shoulder the entire walk back to the bar. It was still slow and he left her at the front to sneak in through the back. No one had even noticed his absence. Though Renee did give him an odd look as he re-tied his apron and went back to serving.

  
Renee was ecstatic to see Ann coming in through the door and waved her over to sit next to someone he couldn’t remember seeing when he had left. She was a tall woman, dark smooth skin and a head of tight, kinky black curls. Her eyes flashed as Ann took the seat and instantly held her hand out for introductions. “Grillby, come meet Simret!”  
… Why? The dark woman turned to him. “So, this is the illusive Grillby?” She asked in an oddly delightful accent.

  
“You couldn’t tell?” Renee asked.

  
“I do not assume, precious one. Come, let me speak with you. I must know my Renee’s friends.”

  
After a glance from Grillby, she shyly rubbed at her arm and grinned. “Uh… Simret is my soulmate/girlfriend.”

  
Ann lit up. “You started dating? When?”

  
“Last night, dear.” Simret elegantly swirled her drink and leaned back against the bar. “So long had passed since our meeting, I was beginning to worry precious Renee would never accept my affections.”

  
The woman in question tuned bright red and wide eyed. “I had to be sure! I’ve never dated a woman before!”

  
Renee squeaked when Simret reached across to brush the tips of her fingers under her chin, coaxing her closer. “And I was patient. I told you I would wait until the stars were no more for only a moment with you. Now, I no longer need to be so patient.”

  
Lord. Grillby wasn’t sure if he should look away or not. He did glance down to Ann who was watching the exchange with a delighted expression. But he could see the wheels of her mind turning. There was a certain glaze to her eyes and a twitch in her fingers, like she was typing something out on the counter. This would end up in a book, guaranteed. Instead of looking away or other, Grillby cleared his throat to break the moment, reminding the women they were in public and one was one the clock.

  
Just how red could Renee turn? Her already tan skin was darkening with every side-ways glance and smirk! Oh, months of her teasing him, and now he was the one doing the teasing! The world is a beautiful and wondrous place. All in all, he did enjoy talking to Simret. She was very intelligent and had views he wasn’t used to hearing. A certain philosophical tone would come out when discussing certain topics.

  
Both Simret and Ann sat and drank for hours. Of course, Simret was doing most of the talking while his soulmate nodded and softly answered when prompted. She would call her Lovely Ann, and him Dear Grillby. But it was the way she interacted with Renee that made him truly like her. While affectionate and daring, Simret was respectful and watched her with eyes filled with what he could only describe as love. No one else in the bar mattered besides her soulmate.

  
Ann drank more than she had in a long time that night. Come closing… Grillby was certain he was seeing an actually drunk Ann for the first time. She leaned on Simret as he locked the door and couldn’t keep her eyes open for very long, giggling every time someone called out to her. He carefully guided her to his side and waved at Renee and Simret as they went the other way. She swayed and clung to his side in a fit of giggles.

  
“I like rum…”

  
“I noticed.” About halfway through the night, Ann had asked to try what Simret was drinking. It was a sweet drink, coconut rum with pineapple juice and cherry grenadine. But for the rest of the night she continued to drink those. He had only ever seen her drink wine and a few vodka drinks. “Want me to serve you rum drinks from now on?”  
“Yes!” She said, nearly losing her footing in her excitement.

  
Any other night, he would have taken her to her place. But… she was obviously drunk and fading fast. His apartment was more of a straight shot than hers. If slightly farther up… Decided, he scooped her up into a bridal carry, much like he had not so long ago with a drunk Linae. Ann never made a sound of protest and nuzzled as deep as she could in his hold.

  
There was a strange feeling of perfect calm as he walked down the empty sidewalk. Every so often he would glance down at Ann, seeing her nearly asleep, perfectly comfortable and calm. It shouldn’t have made him feel as good as it did. But Grillby was so overwhelmingly happy that Ann trusted him enough to fall asleep in his arms and found as much comfort and love as she did. Sometimes he did worry if he was making her happy.

  
It was easy to get the door of his apartment open with her still tucked in his arms and he carefully set her on the bed. Ann instantly tangled with his sheets and shoved her face into one of the pillows. The power of scent. He sat on the edge of the bed and brushed a piece of hair off her forehead before carefully leaning down to press a kiss there. That emotion welled up in him once again. It stuck in his throat and he just wanted to lay down and hold her. Hold her and never let go again.

  
Ann had become so much for him. She was perfect. And he loved her. He did. He- Ann shifted and he smiled, kissing her head once again. “I love you, Anerin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhh, you thought I forgot about Renee and Simret! Guess again sucka! I'm excited to give you guys the ending so expect a few updates this week, just because I can. Also, for the next chapter, I had to read A LOT of smut to properly write it. And don't you worry about ol' mama, babies. She gets a fitting end.


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